What would you feel/think about .having your best male friend of years often asking you to stroke and massage his head and feet, or touching your hands a lot, despite the fact he has a girlfriend? Would you do it and feel nothing wrong with it?
How would you feel if your boyfriend was asking this of his female friend?
At the same time as your best male friend asking you to stroke him, what if he told you very often that he wanted to marry you (when drunk) and that he loves you, you're the greatest etc(when sober) and that he would consider breaking up with his girlfriend to go travelling with you. Would you think there was something more than platonic feelings going on between you and him, or that he might have feelings for you, or would you assume he just really loves you as a friend? Would you worry that he wasn't being fair on his girlfriend by behaving this way with you?
2007-02-08 04:52:00 · 20 answers · asked by Katrina W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds to me that he would rather have you then the one he's with, but if you were to have the same feelings then he is more then willing to go for it....He wants you to make the first move, he is looking at a very very longer term relationship with you!!!!!
2007-02-08 04:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by Diana J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the bottomline: It's NOT okay for him to be asking and telling you these things and it's NOT okay for you to be doing them and entertaining the thoughts.
Your friend is crossing lines that ought not be crossed. When he committed himself to his girlfriend he failed to draw the line between you and himself. The activities that you two might have enjoyed before his girlfriend came along may not fly now. The way he felt for you and the regards that he held you in can no longer stand because it is his girlfriend who should hold that spot in his heart.
Example: Throughout my life I have mostly gravitated towards men in friendships. In highschool, they were my brothers, my protectors, my confidants, and my comforts. Towards the end of my senior year, I met a boy and we struck up a relationship. I soon had to learn that my loyalty was now with my boyfriend and not with my friends. Although we still hung out and joked around, the (plutonic) sleepovers that we'd have, the dinner dates, and the harmless flirting had to stop because I was now in a relationship where those things were reserved for the person I was with. Four years later I am still with this man and although all of my friends have moved away we still keep in touch and visit.
If your friend cannot understand the boundaries that need to be set then you need to be the one to set them and stick with them. Do not entertain his ideas... respect his girlfriend as I'm sure you'd want someone to respect you.
Best of luck.
2007-02-08 05:03:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there's more going on here that the guy's willing to admit to. He seems to have feelings for his best female friend. I sure wouldn't want my boyfriend asking for a massage from another woman, especially if he's told her, when he's drunk, he loves her and wants to marry her.
2007-02-08 04:57:32 · answer #3 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious this guy wants more from you than foot rub. Maybe he is just a touchy-feely guy, but I think him saying he loves you and wants to marry you makes his feelings pretty clear don't you? I would suggest you sit down with this guy and ask him to just lay everything on the table instead of playing games. And if his requests for physical attention are making you uncomfortable tell him to stop.
2007-02-08 04:57:27 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Terious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a very similar situation. And I can tell you, that he wants to have his cake and eat it too. If you were his girlfriend, how would you feel about all of this?
he needs to grow up. Honestly don't touch him, massage him, or buy into his pathetic words.
He is confused and is a ding dong for telling you all this when drunk.
He sounds about as trustworthy as Colin Ferrel at the Playboy mansion.
Pleeeease....
2007-02-08 04:55:55 · answer #5 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am looking at this as if it was my boyfrined with his girl best friend.... From the girlfriends point of view, that is defenitly passing the friends line...i dont sit down and stroke my guy friends hair, rub thier feet neither do they rub mine. as for the question do i believe there are more to his feelings..yes..i believe he has feelings for you, you arent on his "buddy" list./ It seems he wants more...i would talk to him about it..and if he is going to continue this with you he should leave his girlfriend, and if you are interested in him you should go for it..it sux for the other woman...but she would be better off without him i guess if he is falling for you. just becareful you dont invest your time and he starts asking other woman for foot rubs...good luck!
2007-02-08 05:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by Life....it blows! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
possibly he promised some different person there is not any different as well? in case you've been acquaintances previous to now you're fans. That adjustments each little thing. good success to you although that's not uncomplicated to easily be acquaintances even as your needs make you do impulsive issues. perchance he sounds like he ruined the friendship and did not choose extra? i wish it quite works out yet you've a large hurdle to get over. pal or lover?
2016-11-26 02:56:25 · answer #7 · answered by dunworth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would STOP doing those thing for him because if he really wanted to be with you drunk or sober her would've. How would you if you where is girlfriend like it if his girl friend rub his head and feet etc., I don't think any woman such do that to any man that not her man.
2007-02-08 04:58:36 · answer #8 · answered by honeybunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling, what part of this do you have trouble with here? Any of it? I'm having problems with all of it. What are your boundaries? What limits are on your friendship? Do you have any? Is there a point at which you feel uncomfortable with this man? If there isn't, there should be. Think of how you might feel if you were his girl and go from there.
2007-02-08 05:10:07 · answer #9 · answered by Ande 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have had this happen to me once... we are great friends i mean really great friends..no one could ever get between us and one day he just started being real touch feelings with me and it went on for almost six months before i realized that he loved me...i just started seeing someone when he finally told me how he felt and i got scared...scared to lose the friendship between us...now four years down the line i wish we had become more than just friends..now i am regretting it everyday...i think you should just talk to him...if you guys are really close than it shouldnt be too bad..just ask him wassup and dont wait and regret things later....i know i do
2007-02-08 05:02:07 · answer #10 · answered by kauaichic420 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋