2 1/2 Year old behavior PLZ HELP?

Question

My son is 2 1/2 years old and I am very concerned over his behavior. When he doesn't get his way he tends to bite his finger or hits himself in the head. Sometimes he'll hit his hand on the wall. Is this normal? This is my first child and I don't know what to do. Please Help.

Answer 1

Oh Honey, I have been there! My 2yr old did that too. She would throw herself on the ground and hit her head. Or slap herself in the face. Dont worry. It goes away. My husband was really good in stopping it, or so we think. We either helped her stop or she outgrew it. She just turned 3 and doesnt do it anymore. Every time she would do that, me or hubby would stop her and bring her over and have a nice relaxed chat with her. Kind of hard when child is throwing a fit but it does work most of time. We would calmly say how it isnt right to hit herself and to remember to be good to yourself...etc etc. She actually loved the stop and talking to me thing, because hitting herself was an attention stopper when she wasnt getting her way.
Self control is a skill that a child learns over time. Let's just say self-control is one of those areas where development may be steady but — at times — excruciatingly slow.
Until your toddler's articulate enough to tell others what's bothering him, he'll lash out physically from time to time. Children this young are torn between wanting to do as their parents tell them ("don't hit or bite") and giving in to their impulses. They then are overcome by frustration and respond with bites, kicks, and tantrums.
You can distract your child from disruptive behavior and channel his energy into something productive by giving him a job to do. Like lets put up your toys in your special place. Or help mommy with sweeping the floor.
He's developing a conscience now, which is an immense force in his attempts to control his impulses. But it's also important not to capitalize on this by reprimanding him in a way that focuses on his character ("Only bad boys act mean toward their mommies"). Focus instead on the behavior: "We speak softly in the house; we don't yell." Explain why you don't like what he's doing ("When you hit yourself, it makes Mommy sad") and allow your child to work out this inner struggle on his own. Juggling his wants and needs versus this burgeoning inner voice will be the way he'll learn to exercise good judgment about his actions.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

It is normal and he will grow out of it. I noticed someone wrote autism. My opinion dont be so quick to think that. It is normal especially in boys. My son is three and three months and he no longer does that. My son did bang his head on the wall sometimes from age 2 to about 2 and 8-10months. Then he just stopped. My son still at age three will throw himself on the floor when he dont get his way and cry. Again perfectly normal. The less attention you pay to a tantrum the more likely he will realize it is not working. Just try to ignore this behavior, as long as he is not really hurting himself. If he is try to devert his attention. P.S. My mom said her brother did it too and he is now sixty and does not have brain damage. It does go away. Today people are too quick to put labels on things. Unless you are really concerned and then talk to your pediatrician. But, from one mother to another it is normal. Good luck. You can also e-mail me at [e-mail] if you have any other question or just want to talk. I also agree with the person who said they calmly talk to their child. Although, at the time it does not seem like it is working, they are listening and in time will remember this. Yelling will only reinforce bad behavior. I dont know about your son but my sons speech was not very good then and he got frustrated easily. Even adults get frustrated, it is important to teach him that we all get frustrated, but that we dont want to hurt ourselves or others. Teach him something you might do to resolve your frustration. Also, hug him and let him know you love him even when his behavior is not good. Kids need to know that. Especially then.

Answer 3

One of my boys used to pull his hair out when he got frustrated like that, as well as hit his head on the wall. Some kids are more introverted and take the frustration out on themselves instead of biting or hitting a parent or another child.
I handled it the same as if they were hitting someone else...sit down for a time out and then try to talk to them about it afterwards.
It is definitely part of the frustration of not being able to communicate effectively at 2 1/2.
God Bless you and your family!

Answer 4

I don't know that it's "normal", but it's not "abnormal".

Try to make sure he's not in an environment where he can actually be seriously hurt (don't want him banging his head on coffee table corners). Put mittens on his hands if he's going to bite himself.

The good thing is, as long as they're in a safe environment, most children don't cause themselves serious injuries, just some minor owies.

btw, if he holds his breath until he passes out, he'll be okay. The body shuts down and passes out as a defense mechanism. Once the will to hold your breath is broken, you start breathing automatically again. My nephew taught me that one.

I know it's hard for you. Just know that most of us have had at least a few moments of "OH MY GOSH I CAN'T TAKE HIM DOING THIS ANYMORE!!!!!"

Answer 5

don't let people scare you with autism! is he is affectionate with you and communicates in certain ways most likely he is fine. My 32 month old did things like that at times he since has stopped, but ask your pediatrician if you are really concerned. My mother in law scared me with the autism word because he wouldn't go near her or greet her but he just didn't know her or like her I guess. He still some times hit his head on the door if he wants out of his room and I want him to stay in . He knows I will give him what he wants right away and you probably do the same because your scared he will hurt himself. Like I said talk to your pediatrician just to ease your mind.... Good Luck

Answer 6

My son used to be extremely violent toward himself when having tantrums. I showed him to clap his hands when he became frustrated rather than hitting himself, and found he'll turn red and clap his hands once or twice now before calming down and going back to playing with his toys.

Answer 7

The biggest question that you need to ask is "How well can my son communicate how he feels?" This might just be his way of communicating frustration, anger, or displeasure.
If he is not very vocal, you might want to help him by not only trying to vocalized for him different emotions (Are you sad? Are you angry? Are you upset? Are you frustrated?) and try to teach him some simple sign language for these emotions.
You also might want to contact your local school district and get the number for Early Childhood Intervention. They can help you get help if your child is experiencing developmental problems.

Answer 8

yes because they still don't speak well and have the communication skills that we have. they get frustrated very quickly and throw tantrums or bite. It's so normal just try and tell him you understand that he is angry and upset. I would stomp my foot on the floor and say I know you are mad and then he started doing that instead of biting himself.

Answer 9

I have a 3 yr old that still throws tantrums, for us the only thing that works is if I put her in time out in her room without any toys and let her cry it out and when she is ready to be a big girl then she can come out and we tell her that we love her and why she was in time out.

Answer 10

This is what is called " terrible 2s", it is normal for children of this age because it is their way of communicating and getting your attention.
I had it all with mine .Just ignore him - walk away or put him in another room while he is like that. It is all about YOUR attention.
WHERE IS NO AUDIENCE- THERE IS NO PERFORMANCE.
Its not going to stop straight away - but it will get better .
Just be patient and good luck.