i am planning to change my son's last name on his birth certificate, since his father left us already, and my son was using his last name though we're not married. i will not include him anymore and would like to declare as to an unknown father. is this a right thing to do? would it affect my son if ever he grows up without knowing the name of his father?
2007-02-08 04:05:35 · 26 answers · asked by -girlie054- 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
my son is just 9 months old.. i never heard of his father eversince he left us, he never visits, and certainly my son is not getting any financial support from him.besides that's his choice, i did not make him leave. he just left, for another girl. well that certainly shows that he doesnt care anymore and he has given me the full right for my son.
2007-02-08 04:20:03 · update #1
just leave it alone, kids still love their pparent even if theyre not around, dont erase everything because YOU can't stand the guy.
2007-02-08 04:08:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if this will answer your question but, let me tell you about a similar situation. My niece gave birth to a little girl almost three years ago. She didn't know who the father was, so she put a last name that nobody in the family has. Then few months later, the court made an DNA test and it turned out that her best friend was the father. She was happy, but his family wasn't. They don't like the fact that the girl has a last name that nobody in the family has. In my opinion, that will affect my niece's baby in the future because, her family, in her dad side don't have a relationship with the baby because of a last name. Now people think this silly, but it happens. Some people respect their last names a lot. Especially Hispanic People like me. In my opinion, keep the last name. After all, that is the baby's father. And consider also if the baby will have a relationship with the father's family. Maybe you and the father will fix things. Also that brings a problem in court, with child support. Just think about it.
Yours Truly,
Mariechard B.
2007-02-08 04:21:21 · answer #2 · answered by ~*Marie~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said the child has the father's last name, but is the father's name listed on the birth certificate? If so, you might have a hard time changing the last name. It is wrong to declare the father as "unknown" when you DO know who the father is. God hears you when you lie.
2007-02-08 04:18:55 · answer #3 · answered by Dee Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is the right thing to do. I mean if that guy left you then he doesnt deserve to be in your son's life! I'm only 2 months and the father left me and I'm not even putting his name on the birth certificate. I don't want him to have any kind of rights to my baby. As for it affecting your son, you'll just have to explain it to him when he asks. Take it easy on him though. Don't make it the blunt truth, but don't make it a lie.
2007-02-08 04:13:29 · answer #4 · answered by Manda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all how old is your son......if he is still very very young, then you might be ok...but just remember, someday he will find out, and then you will have to explain.....you might be better off leaving the name, and telling the truth about how dad just left.....but that is really a decision you have to make..what do you feel is best for your kids....I agree with the above answers....you can chage the name, but leave the father on the certificate...then you can at least go after child support to help you raise you child.
2007-02-08 04:10:23 · answer #5 · answered by yetti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitly it would affect your son, whether the father is in his life or not, he should keep the last name, and remember you can go for support if you have the father on the birth certificate, it will be harder if you write unknown, and say something happens to you, god bless it doesn't, but with the father on the birth certificate at least the child would be able to search for the father later on.
2007-02-08 04:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by Proud Mother 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think changing his last name to yours is OK. My wife did this with her oldest son's name. I think it helped him feel closer to his family. I have now adopted him and he hyphenates his mother's maiden name and mine. He chose to do this because he identifies and looks up to his grandfather. He wanted to keep that even though he wanted to be adopted by me.
I don't think it would be a good idea to remove the bio father's name from the birth certificate. Your son will probably want that information. In fact I think he has a right to that. Children feel the need to know where they come from. Be especially careful not to take out your anger at a "deadbeat dad" by doing something that will hurt your child. I think this could be one of those things.
An issue you didn't mention but that is more important than "names" is parental rights. If you want to protect your son and "not include the father anymore" it would be a good idea to have his father's parental rights severed. This will save problems in the future and should someone come along who you and son would like to include in your family, adoption is much simpler.
2007-02-10 17:04:45 · answer #7 · answered by WIII 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your son's name to include the father's surname as a second middle name. Then your son can have your last name. This is what I did for my daughter. When she got older I explained why I did this for her, that I didn't want her to lose her father's side of the family, even though he is not a part of her life, and I wanted us to share our last name. When she registered for school, she used just her first, middle, and our last name (not her father's), but later in life if she chooses to include his name she can. I didn't want her to feel that I stripped her of his name, but I didn't want the confusion of people coming to our home and calling us by incorrect names, either, constantly reminding us of someone who is not in our lives.
2007-02-08 04:19:23 · answer #8 · answered by artemisaodc1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is his name on the birth cerfificate? If you want to ever go after him child support I would leave it there. It is much easier being he singned the birth certificate.
As far as it affecting him, of course it will. My daughter's father was never in her life and she asked questions but if you give him alot of love..he will be fine.Never lie and never talk bad about the father..even if he left. As your son gets older, he will figure it out himself. I hope you ahve other male role models for him..I have two brothers and they have been a ton of help.
Good luck
2007-02-08 05:12:34 · answer #9 · answered by Willow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave the father's name on the birth certificate so your son can look him up in the future if he wants to, but change his last name if you want, it will make it easier when your kid goes to school.
2007-02-08 04:11:46 · answer #10 · answered by Brandy B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can always tell your son who his birth father is when he's older and wants to know. ( He should know for health reasons)
However, you have every right to change his name so long as his father is willing to give up any rights.
I don't think it will hurt your son at all. It might actually help him in the long run.
Take care and good luck with this and doing it all on your own.
I know it's not easy.
2007-02-08 04:10:58 · answer #11 · answered by bluegrass 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋