I have been with together with boyfriend for more than a year now. (1 year, 3 mos to be exact) On the 1st date, we did the deed -- in a motel. I asked him what it was all about (it was my first time to do it with someone i am not together with.. 2nd person i ever slept with), he told that it is a relationship. After a week, 2nd date again ended up in a motel. (Note that he does not live alone during this time) He sent me text messages within the week before our 2nd date. He told me he loves me a month after.
At present, he has met my family (I only met his dad). He has spent 2 new years eve with my family. We have gone through a lot. He tells me he loves everyday. (sex is part of our relationship --mostly everytime we see each other)
Is he for real? Is it really possible to find love even if you had sex on the first date? Are there any exceptions? I need your opinion on this.
(the guy is 10 yrs older)
(we've been friends for 4 years before we started dating)
2007-02-08 04:01:18 · 10 answers · asked by mikie c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This guy might love you, he might not - but what is certain is that he's immature as hell and socially inept. No girl in her right mind would have sex on the first date unless she didn't mind having a reputation as an easy lay. The hotel just adds to the cheesy factor.
He might be sincere, he might be really trying to get his own place and to be with you long term... BUT - the odds are against it.
You've been warned.
2007-02-08 04:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I don't necessarily think that sex on the first date means the realtionship is bogus. I, due to lack of better judgement, have had sex on a first date or two, those realtionsips didn't work. However, I don't feel it was because of having had sex early on. It was for different reasons all together! If you were friends for so long before the sexual relationship began, then I don't know what the problem is. Just because you had never had an official date, it doesn't mean you had sex with a stranger.
I see no problem, unless you feel your relationship is based on sex. And if that is the case, it isn't a healthy realtionship. You have to have more than sex to last through life. Think hard about whether or not this marraige is fulfilling your needs emotionally and physically. If so, congrats! If not, maybe you need to talk to your partner!
Good luck, hope it works out for you!
2007-02-08 12:11:54 · answer #2 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex has nothing to do with love. Niw at first i was wondering what is the point you are getting at with the question and i felt it had none. Then it came to me.
You are wondering if he really loves you or if it is just about the sex.
I wonder the same thing myself. You had sex the first night. If it is okay with i will like to know how old is he cause if he like 26 and you are 16 chances are he is just after the sex.
If you 36 and he is 46 he could really care about you.
The difference between men and women is that we will not tell you we love unless we really do (the majority of us anyway). The majority of men out there will tell a woman he loves for some of the following reasons:
(1)to shut her up when she starts to talk about their relationship.
(2) Because he knows that it will make her feel happy
(3) When really wants to keep tapin that A$$
(4) Because he knows that is what she wants to hear
Then there are the men who tell you they love you because they really do.
You have to be able to tell where it is coming from. Women can love a man in a week. Men sometimes take a year.
Examin your relationship and you will get the answer to your question.
2007-02-08 12:16:01 · answer #3 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am thinking you need to find out more about this guy....I suspect he is either married or has a girlfriend somewhere or is just looking for fun and not commitment. Something just does not seem right. Hate to say this, but if you are having sex every time or even almost every time you get together....says to me...your a sex partner. Does he take you anywhere? Is he out in public with you? Does he ever show open affection...not sex...affection in public? Have you ever met anyone he knows except his Dad? If so, how does he introduce you and does he show any kind of affection in front of them? Do you guys ever do much during the day...on weekends....having fun...going places...shopping..eating out...anything? Do you feel like he is kind of hiding you when your together? There is allot to take in to consideration here as a true love relationship on his part also.
And age difference being 10 yrs and it seems to be all about sex..hmmm...red flags there to me. Sweaty....re-evaluate the word love and your relationship as a whole. Love is not just having sex every time you get together. I'm telling you...something is not right here.
2007-02-08 12:24:21 · answer #4 · answered by shy_tender_lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question, what kind of living situation does he have with another person-female? If so, serious relationship with other one? (You can answer yourself). Why then is he with you?? Does he love her too-if intimate relationship?? (You should ask him). If he loves two women at the same time, it's being unfair to BOTH women regardless of whatever and there must be a decision made! Crux-who does he love more, you (or her)? What ever the result, you're all going to be emotionally hurt, assuming this is a love triangle.
Sex on the first date-depends how strongly 2 persons feel to each other (both know there are soulmates), otherwise, take it slow to be sure it's a right decision.
2007-02-08 13:17:12 · answer #5 · answered by roses2500 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend whom i've been with for little over 6 months started out as a sex thing. it has progressed to more now...but not without having a talk with him. and as he put it...when a relationship is based on sex, there is a huge grey area of unknowns. so i would have a talk with him and ask what he feels and where you guys stand. cause you won't know til you ask
2007-02-08 12:15:36 · answer #6 · answered by Taylor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is the physical attraction. I feel that it is possible to fall in love even if the process of your relationship was turned around. If you love someone, then you love someone, no matter what process it took to get you there.
2007-02-08 12:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by Nunya 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally I'd say because of the age differeence it was about sex. But since you were friends first it could be real.
2007-02-08 12:08:16 · answer #8 · answered by AJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hiya Chicky,
I'm concerned about your comment that he does not live alone during the time of your second date. Meaning, he's married? g/f?
It is truly my opinion that this is not a long term relationship.
2007-02-08 13:22:26 · answer #9 · answered by ♦♦pixiechix♦♦ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it could be that he really is in to you...All depends in how mature the male is...Sometimes will be like that good at first but maybe will run out easily like I say if the guy is very mature then sex at first date won't make any trouble in the future....
2007-02-08 12:08:09 · answer #10 · answered by nena_en_austin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋