me and my fiance have been together for 5 years, never had any problems, our only problem has been his mom, she has been a living nightmare since i first met her. he is the only child so she will not let him go.. even when he moved out she blamed me for everything, like i have mind control over him.anyway FASTFORWARD...last month he asked me to marry him, i tell my family all except my dad because he is never around.. and they are happy.. he on the other hand tells his mom, and she disonwned him from their familiy...last night my father calls i tell him... he says that he "might don't want me to do that" any ways i feel as if they should **** off and let me do what i want... on the other hand i wanted to leave go on a cruise somewhere exotic, and get married... with out nobody just me and my fiance... but do you think that is fair to the rest of my familiy?, i dont even think the rest of his family knows.what should i do about his mom, she really is becoming a problem.. tell her off?
2007-02-08 03:29:29 · 3 answers · asked by ms_jones87 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
When you get married, not only do you marry the man, but you also marry into the whole family. Hate to break it to you, but if your mother-in-law is a problem now, she will be an even BIGGER problem later. If she tries to control you, she will try to control your kids as well. And if your fiance doesn't step in to say something now, he isn't going to step in later, either. Family relationships is one very important issue that needs to be dealt with before the wedding. Same goes for your dad. He may have his reasons for not wanting you to marry this guy; why don't you talk to him and see why he doesn't want you to? Marriages are important, but so is family. As a newlywed, it is very important to have a strong support system, so don't alienate yourself from your parents!
When you are newly engaged and happy and giddy, it's very hard to put aside your emotions and actually listen to what people are saying. I know, I've been there. I was "almost-engaged" to a guy right out of high school, and when people heard about our plans and weren't supportive, I knew I should take the time to figure out why they were so hesitant to give their blessing. After some long talks, some other issues coming out into the open, some arguments, and a lot of worrying and thinking, we finally broke up. Our families, who knew us best, were right. We really didn't belong together, and it would not have worked out. A few years later, I met the love of my life, and when we got engaged, both sets of parents gladly and completely gave us their blessing -- they could see that we are a great couple, we have great communication, we talk things out, and we're going to be there for each other.
As far as what you plan to do with your wedding, going somewhere exotic does sound like a great idea, and I'm sure your family would understand, as long as you're doing it for the right reasons -- because you really want to, and not just to spite them.
Good luck!
2007-02-10 01:17:35 · answer #1 · answered by wnk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as I would like to say "yes tell that overbearing mothering hen off and put her in her place"..lol
This is not what you should do. You should let your hubby to be know that you want to have a heart to heart with his mother. Then let her know that you are aware that she is only looking out for her only son. Remind her that you have been together for five years so neither of you feel like you are rushing into this. Tell her that you will be the best wife that you can for him and that you will always take care of him. Give her an option..tell her that you and he have talked and decided that if to many problems (including with her) arise then you have already decided to go away by yourselves and do it that way. That way she is aware that any problem she is causing could be the result of her not attending the wedding. I hate to say it but you will have your hands full this one..and hey Congrats!
2007-02-08 22:48:45 · answer #2 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
elope! easiest solution, you won't have to confront anyone over their nasty behavior or bad attitudes.
take your cruise and get married far far away, and let the chips fall where they may.
good luck, and best wishes
2007-02-11 05:49:41 · answer #3 · answered by tess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋