Has not this headteacher gone too far?

Question

A school headteacher, Helen Starkey, 46, of Johnstown Primary School, in Carmarthen, West Wales has simply banned pupils from making Mother's Day cards.

"More than 5% of children here are separated from their birth mother and have either no contact or no regular contact with their mother," she said in a statement.
Mrs Starkey claims she has nothing against Mother's Day, which falls on March 18 this year, but would not allow pupils to make cards during lessons.

One parent, said: "It means 95% of the children have not got an opportunity to make a card. I take issue with the fact that Mothering Sunday is a Christian festival and Mrs Starkey is not allowing children to celebrate in the way they know how. This is ridiculous, they will have to ban Father's Day as well, just to be politically correct. Where is this going to end?"

If she is, as she claims, is acting in the interest of 5%, what about the rights of the 95%?

If she is so protective of that 5% could she then be harming them?
If children are not exposed to the harsh facts of life, naturally, how are they going to face tougher issues in their lives?
Is Mrs Starkey not being anti-Christian?

The headteacher singularly shows a gross lack of imagination as far as the 5% are concerned.

Those suggesting that the children should make the cards at home are defeating the object of the children attending school. Learning to show respect and love to fellow beings is fundamental to good education. This is needed even more in some cities, these days. Making a card saying some good words to someone is then fundamental to this education. The headteacher has totally failed to consider this. Simply pouring the three Rs into the children's heads is not education.

The 2 best answers so far are:-

1)
100% of the children have a Mother. They could all make a card because it does not matter that their Mother is not there to give it to them. Even if the cards say, Thank You for giving me life and they put them on the wall.

2)
I was in my son class volunteering one day when they were making Mothers day cards, one little boy said as he started to cry, " I don't have one" My eyes welled up and it took everything I had in me to not let a tear drop, the teacher asked, do you have someone that acts on behalf of your mother? A grandmother or Aunt, sister, or friend? He said that he did and so he made one for them...What a wonderful/heartfelt teacher she was......She even went and helped him make a beautiful card for her, I think this child felt really special that day thanks to her.

Thanks to ‘Midge’ and ‘Diana J’ who should apply for the position when the headteacher, Helen Starkey, is eventually sacked.

Answer 1

I was in my son class volunteering one day when they were making Mothers day cards, one little boy said as he started to cry, " I don't have one" My eyes welled up and it took everything I had in me to not let a tear drop, the teacher asked, do you have someone that acts on behalf of your mother? A grandmother or Aunt, sister, or friend? He said that he did and so he made one for them...What a wonderful/heartfelt teacher she was......She even went and helped him make a beautiful card for her, I think this child felt really special that day thanks to her

Answer 2

Actually I agree with the headteacher because of what the parent said "Mothering Sunday is a Christian festival". As such, it should not have anything to do with school (I should note I never realised it was a Christian festival, but I guess it does have that pagan ring to it...). The kids will probably be taught to make cards for other events in the year and can therefore do it themselves at home. Or better still, with their fathers - it can be a bonding experience.

"If children are not exposed to the harsh facts of life, naturally, how are they going to face tougher issues in their lives?" - well the same argument can be made the other way - if explained properly to the children it should make them more tolerant to other peoples' differences.

"Is Mrs Starkey not being anti-Christian?" How? Her arguments are made relating to children without mothers and make no reference to religion. I think religion would have been a better argument as if this is a religious festival then what about the children who are not Christians? And why should children so young be indoctrinated (some would say brainwashed) into a religion before they are old enough to decide for themselves?

Answer 3

Mother's Day is not a Christian holiday it is born of the Greek worship of Zeus's mother Rhea. In the 17th Century, the servants of England were given teh 4th Sunday of Lent off and were encouraged to visit home since many had to live far away for work. In America, this tradition came with the English settlers and in 1914, the president declared that the second Sunday in May would be the official Mother's Day. Many countries have a day similar.
It is my belief that this teacher was very affected by a child who was saddened by the Mother's Day activities at school and is trying to be kind to the kids who don't have mothers. Most little kids make Mother's Day card and gifts in school but this practice has long absolved fathers and other adults in these children's lives from teaching the children to respect mom and helping them make it special. Hopefully, the fathers, childcare providers, aunts, uncles and grandparents will step up and teach these children how to make someone feel special.

Answer 4

I think Mrs Starkey is being a kind and considerate teacher which I believe are qualities Christians would strive for. I don't think it has anything to do with political correctness. Children know that they do not have a mother for whatever reason and they don't need their face rubbing in it. The children are already facing the harsh facts of life every day because they don't have a mum. If children want to make a Mothers Day card then why can't they do it as a craft project at home.

Answer 5

Why are people getting so worked up about this? Why is it the school's responsibility to make Mother's day cards anyway? Are children incapable of making a card in their own time at home? My kids make me cards in their own time, without prompting by anyone, which makes them even more special. Maybe kids could be creative at home and spend less time watching TV.

Although my children's father died of cancer and they always found father's day difficult, I don't feel strongly one way or the other about this issue. As a parent I dealt with the situation myself. If I found out that the school was making father's day cards I encouraged my children to make one for grandad instead, or we put the cards on the mantlepiece and lit a candle in memory of their dad.

As a parent or carer there are ways of dealing with these situations. I don't think the headteacher needs to be so sensitive, but neither should we condemn her decision. Just because a school doesn't celebrate such days, it doesn't mean they're banned. You can still celebrate at home! It's not the just the school's responsibility is it?

Answer 6

As a clergyman when we celebrate Mothering Sunday (for that is its proper name) we really try hard to accommodate everyone in every circumstance. We provide gifts for people to give to their mothers or those who have been mothers to them. If their mother is too far away we say that they may take the gift anyway in token of their mother - or the one who has been a mother to them. We provide candles to light in memory of those whose mothers have died. We basically try our best to cover all the possibilities - surely this head ought to be trying a similar practical approach to help include all the children in some way.

Whether or not she is doing this because she has an anti-Christian agenda is something we don't seem to have the information on, so we can't really make a judgement on it. However many of the PC brigade have done their utmost to undermine the Christian faith - whether or not she is one of those is anyone's guess. She sounds as though she just lacks imagination and enterprise.

Answer 7

100% of the children have a Mother. They could all make a card because it does not matter that their Mother is not there to give it to them. Even if the cards say, Thank You for giving me life and they put them on the wall.

Answer 8

The headteacher has gone too far! What she could have encouraged the children whose birth mothers are not around for whatever reason, is to make a card to a woman who was special in their lives. It could be their grandmother, aunt, best friend, or even the head teacher herself!

Answer 9

So all these mothers are wining about what? That they wont get mothers day card from school? No, I don’t believe the head teacher has gone to far. I think it makes perfects sense. The children living with their birth mothers can make mother’s day cards outside of school. Trust me, it won’t kill anyone.

People are really very selfish. Just because the children without mothers make up only 5% of the student population, does not mean that they somehow count for less.

Answer 10

I dont know about anyone else but I do feel bad about the kids with out moms but that is no reason to take the whole mothers day thing out! I mean mabe the ones that doesnt have mothers they can find a big sister type thing you know??