My son was hopitalized for major depression for 3 weeks.My son has been out of the hospital for 2 weeks and so far he is doing well.He see's a therapist 2x weekly and see's his school couselor weekly.The meds are working fine.The problem is my mother.She makes him cry and feel guilty when he speakes to her.She brings up things from "Her" past that don't concern him.She does'nt understand how that affects him. He is very protective of her but, can't see how it keeping him from moving forward.She now lives in texas and we live in illinois.One of the main issues my son has is to have a better relationship with his stepfather.We have been going to family therapy weekly even while he was in the hospital and made some significant progress but, as soon as she talks to him we take a step back.I don't mind severing my ties with my mother in order to keep my son from killing himself.How do I make her understand?
2007-02-08 03:21:18 · 11 answers · asked by Zim 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Three things:
One is that you probably cannot make your mother understand. Have a long talk with her and tell her everything you tell us here. If that does not work, then you may just have to let her go. There is no way to make her "understand" cutting off ties, but if you have to do it, then you have to do it. It is rough, but there it is. But give it one more shot at talking to her. Maybe you and her can stay in touch while your son recovers, but if she breaks confidence with you, then you need to put your foot down. You have yourself and your son to think about.
Two, keep up with the family therapy and medication! It will help a lot. Fighting depression takes a lot of time and patience. Be supportive of him, and show him you love him. Keep up with the therapy. Educate yourself as best as you can on depression so you will be better able to cope. In time things should get better.
Three: have some fun! Get out and do something fun on your own. Get out and do something fun with your son. Make sure it is something reasonably active, too. It will help a lot to relieve the stress and depression if you get the endorphins going with some good ol' fashioned fun and exercise.
I wish you the best of luck! Hang in there!
2007-02-08 03:33:51 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once suffered from major depression as well. It wasn't as bad as your son sounds. I tried killing myself twice, but I couldn't. I was just good at hiding my true feelings. I think the best way to handle this would be to step back from all of this. Have some fun with your son. Go on a vacation or something. Most importantly of all is to show him that you care about your relationship with him. I know I never would've made it through w/out my mom, and maybe it is the same way with him. So I would talk to her about him and the affect that she is having on him. If she doesn't understand then I would break off the relationship because that shows that she doesn't care about him. Give him hope in his life.
2007-02-08 04:39:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother needs to know the NEGATIVE IMPACT that she is causing ,regarding your sons health. If she refuses to listen to your reasoning and concerns, do not let her have ANY contact with your son. If you can not get through to your mother, that this is NOT about HER, give her an ultimatum. Tell her that you have conditions that she Must follow or she will not be allowed to have any contact with her grandson. I would demand that she speak to one of the professionals that you are seeing, Have them explain to her, the seriousness of your sons emotional situation, and what protocol she MUST follow in order to continue with the strides he has made. If a therapist speaks to her, maybe she will realize the significance of what WILL be acceptable behavior, and what will NOT. I would put the decision in the experts hands, and follow their advice. If your mother will not comply, then she does not deserve to have contact with your son. This is a very difficult matter for all involved,I speak from experience.God Bless your son, and may he continue to heal. I have a son, so I empathize with you, stay strong.
2007-02-08 04:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your son, and your mother, that it is "doctor's orders" that they don't talk for a while. You are very fortunate that she doesn't live with you (or within a short distance).
Talk to one of the therapists regarding these appointments with the step-father. If your son is taking a step back after these meetings--maybe they should stop for a while. At least the way they are handled should be changed--by the therapist.
I wish you and your son much luck and good health.
2007-02-08 03:34:16 · answer #4 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every adult in his life has to find out by reading on this subject.you,his mom .are the final decision maker.what you decide,the others(health professionals especially)have to follow.severe mental health problems are still not understood, or else there would be a vaccine.given that, you are the boss.if you do not pull the plug on non co-operative family members you will likely lose your son, 2 options i'd suggest,you and your son rent a u haul.& move to keokuk,deluth,des moines,oregon,any place but far from where you live now,2nd option ,give the boy up for adoption.he might make better progress somewhere else
2007-02-08 03:54:42 · answer #5 · answered by quackpotwatcher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try telling her exactly how she makes him feel. Explain, in no uncertain terms that if this negativity doesn't stop immediately, she will be gone from your sons life. Your job is to protect your son, and that's what you are going to do.
Personally, I don't see this woman changing. Be prepared to sever those ties.
And kudos to you for standing up to her for your sons health. You have taken all the right steps so far...and you deserve a pat on the back for that and a big hug for what you are about to do.
2007-02-08 03:31:21 · answer #6 · answered by Enchanted 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always a tough situation when dealing with 'blood' on such a tramatic situation. But it's black and white. It really is. You have a choice to make...protect your son or not? I am glad to hear you say you don't mind severing ties with mama to save your son's life.
How do you make her understand? You can't. You can explain WHY and if SHE really cares, she will understand...if she's selfish and focused on HER NEEDS, she never will.
YOU MUST NEVER FEEL GUILTY FOR PROTECTING YOUR CHILD!
You're a good mama....I wish you luck with your family. Protect your babies. :)
2007-02-08 04:02:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a problem with my grandparents too. what happened was my parents got a divorce and my grandparents blamed it on me. I know that isn't anything near what your son is dealing with but my mom and dad had to put there foot down and have a serious talk with my grandparents. tell her that she is hurting him more than helping him. Ask her what do you talk about with him. So maybe you know what triggers him getting upset. and tell her she needs to stop talking about that. As last resort dont let them talk it will hurt him but eventuallly it might be better.
2007-02-08 03:29:50 · answer #8 · answered by apriljean 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
10 mg of lexapro works well for me. 20 mg is out there too but it leaves me feeling wired and edgy if i take that much.
2007-02-08 04:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't make her understand. You just protect your child from this disturbed, toxic woman.
2007-02-08 03:26:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋