Does anybody else have a problem with their mother in-law?

Question

it seems like she can never stop giving me advice and im not trying to be mean to her but i do know what i am doing and i want to do it my way not hers......I wount even let her babysit my son because she wount listen to the way that i have tld her to do things......Now she is telling me that at 9 months my son should be off the bottle and only drinking out f sippy cups.....no matter what i tell her she just doesnt stop.....What are ur opinions on stopping giving him bottles?

Answer 1

Issues with my MIL? You name it, I have it! and the worst part is they live overseas, came to visit and stayed for 6 months and of course the way I wanted to raise my daughter was wrong!

Your daughter, your decision.... listen to what she says and do what you see appropriate according to your family needs/rules. Once answer that they can't argue with: "things are now different!"

Answer 2

I have the same issue with my mother in law telling me how to do things. I am just stuborn and won't give in....she still says "well I wouldn't do it that way."

Sometimes they forget that things 20-30 years ago were done differently and there have been lots of studies that go toward how we are choosing to raise our kids. I think it's a never ending battle....

As for bottles, I think if you just make sure to ween them off by a year you're OK. I think around your 1 year check up the doctor likes to see that sippy cups are being used more than bottles.

You can maybe start introducing sippy cups, but continue bottle feeding until your child is ready for the full transition. Like try giving him a sippy cup at the dinner table with Milk. Make sure you start with milk in the cup though, or they may always expect juice and water in the cup and it will make the transition harder.

Honestly, my son was off by about 9 months, but he was using sippycups that were pretty much like bottles and he just naturally migrated to the cups, because the bottle couldn't flow fast enough for him. Now he's on the kind that doen't have a flow stopper....but he's 15 months old.

Answer 3

My husband says that is his mom and it is true. All I can say about switching to a sippy cup is keep trying every kid takes it differently.

Back to the MIL, good idea with not letting her watch your kid. We got so sick of hearing "how many kids have you raised?" from my husbands parents that we told them to back off and then didn't talk to them or even let them see their grandson. They missed his first halloween and his first birthday. I was nice enough and did let them know when he got sick and had 2 seizures just before Christmas. They still didn't get to see him till the day after Christmas, but it worked. Now they ask about things and don't assume they can just do something and it will be ok because they have more kids.

The thing they didn't like is how independent we let our son be. He is 15 months old and he puts himself to bed, plays by himself, and loves figuring out how to do things by himself. My in-laws think everything should be done for him, including holding him to go to sleep like he is a newborn. Heck my son was crawling for 3 months before they knew he could because he was either in a walker or someone was holding him.

So I would say make her miss some key events in life and she should get the hint. It may be hard at first but if you don't do something about it now it will only get worse. Also, explain to your husband what you would like to do and get him on board because if he doesn't it won't work. If your husband is devoted to you and his child he should have no problem with it.

Answer 4

Sounds like she's a typical mother-in-law. Have you ever watched "Everybody Loves Raymond"?

Anyway, I would say he should be off the bottle for formula by 12 months and juice should only be given in a sippy cup. That's just my opinion, though. You're the mommy. You do what you think is best.

Answer 5

Ha ha! I had the same problem, except luckily she was only my bf's mom, not my mother-in-law. I always heard about "Well our kids were eating table food at 6 months", meanwhile I was just starting mine on cereal at that age. I have come to realize, like you, that you do things your way, regardless. I've realized that they have had their own kids, and other grandkids, and they've done things their own way. I decided, Hey, this is my child, my only chance at doing it, so I'm gonna do it my way, whether I catch flack for it or not. My bf and I lived together, and she would be over during the day while I was at work to visit with him and our daughter. She doesn't sit still, and would always do the dishes or whatever. I went so far as to rewash all the baby bottles she had already done, cuz I know I got them clean and it felt better knowing that instead of just using them to be nice and not disrespectful to her. Cuz I don't trust her that way. As far as the bottles, most people say after 12 months, my daughter was off at 16 months. I'd do what you feel is right and comfortable. Accept the opinions she has to offer without being rude, but don't feel obligated to follow them yourself. You most certainly have a right to your own.

Answer 6

9 months is a good time to introduce the sippy cup with juice now and then, but i didn't take my kids off the bottle until they were a year old. i've been told that if you take the baby off the bottle too soon, there's an increased risk of them picking up smoking later in life. just throw that statistic in your mother in law's face, maybe that'll shut her up for a little while. :)

Answer 7

I didn't stop till mine was one year old and plan to do the same with my baby now.Tell her in an assertive way that you will do things the way you want with your child and leave it at that when she starts talking to you about her way walk off.My mother in law has pulled that **** before with my daughter who is from a previous marriage aint even her grandchild and I continued to tell my daughter what i wanted her to do and finally the bit ch shut up.She won't hang any of my baby's pictures up which is her newest grandchild but she has pictures of my husband's child from a previous marriage all over the walls and still has a picture of my husband and his ex wife up so my new pictures my husband and I made I am not even giving her one.I told my husband I was not giving her any more pictures of my child or us together.So I really don't like her at all.She is just an old bat who thinks she is right about everything she raised kids 30 years ago times have changed and she doesn't know what she is talking about.Oh well anyway you can't change a person like that but you can stand your ground and not give in to her because she is just trying to control someone and you are an easy target.People like that love control its their way or no way....to hell with her

Answer 8

Stop at 18 months maximum as the bottle and the sippy cup are both the reason every kid has to have braces.

I have a great Mother-in-Law and would gladly lend her to you for a weekend that yours is staying at your house. She will smack that attitude into next week for that ol' biotch interfereing in your life.

Answer 9

ok, here is the rule, wean from the bottle at 1. 1 is the age. start indroducing sippy cups now, but only to let here get used to them. then gradually start replacing i bottle a day with the sip cup. but remember don't ever let her fall asleep by the bottle. bad for her teeth. as for the M-I-L, I think they are all like that so just grin and bear it, unless she really crosses the line.

Answer 10

My mother in law recently had my children overnight. A week later I found a binky in my 3 1/2 year olds room. I asked him where he got it and he said his grandma gave it to him. He hasn't used a binky since before he was 2. I was furious. Also, they (my in laws) watched the kids at my house. When I returned home, my house was completely rearranged. She moved everything around so it was the way she wanted it. She even goes through my drawers. Needless to say, we are looking to move further away from her. We already live about 3 hours away but it isn't far enough.

Answer 11

I have the same problem. My mother in law adopted 36 kids. She is a very sweet old woman, but if i hear one more time you know i did raise 36 kids i think i will go insane. Not only does she always try to give me advise she is always bringing me things. Like grocries and stuff like that like i dont know how to feed my family! Not to mention when ever i want to buy things for my kids she is constintly telling me that its a waste of money! IT drives me nuts!!! We are now having a problem with potty training my son and i think that she has told me like 6 times that when i sit him down for meals i should do it on the potty. I myself find it disgusting to try to make my kids eat his dinner on the pottyy! And my hubby is of no help, he always just tells me oh she old. I say do what you think is best and just ignore her.