A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger
congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the
congregation, ...no one wants him to leave.
Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up
and proclaims,.... "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a
new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to
transport their children!"
The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and
says, "If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his
salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college
education of all his children!"
More sighs and loud applause, Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and
announces with a smile, "If the Preacher stays, .... I will give him
sex!"
There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her, . "Mrs. Jones, whatever
possessed you to say that?"
Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding
his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head
from side to side, while his wife replies,
"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, ....
"Screw the Preacher!"
2007-02-08 02:35:41 · 15 answers · asked by K-E-G 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
P.S. . 'isn't senility something else?'
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over
my mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2007-02-08 02:36:21 · update #1
Nice pacing K-E-G
MMmwwah
2007-02-08 09:44:10 · answer #1 · answered by Basket-santa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LMAO!! GOOD ONE!
***********************************
The Minister labored long and hard to deliver his Sunday sermon entitled: "Forgive Your Enemies." Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
80 percent of the congregation held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" the minister asked.
"I don't have any." She replied. smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, That is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-Eight." She replied.
"Oh, Mrs. Jones. Would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world."
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived the Bitches."
2007-02-08 10:45:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
lol!!! I loved it especially the last part!
the keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over the mouth!
That is hilarious!!!!
Thanks for the laugh!
~browneyes~
2007-02-08 12:55:38 · answer #3 · answered by browneyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LMAO! I keep telling my friends that I can't wait to get old so I can say whatever I feel like whenever I feel like it.
They tell me I do it already.
2007-02-08 10:45:17 · answer #4 · answered by Pretending To Work 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nice one!
2007-02-08 10:47:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i never expected the ending... totally hilarious... and original !
LOL !
2007-02-08 10:49:16 · answer #6 · answered by I need a vacation! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hehe
2007-02-08 10:44:31 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Sabre♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I LOVE IT BABY!!!
ITS SIMPLY AWESOME!!
WHERE dID U EVEN DIG UP SUCH A GREAT ENTERTAINING JOKE!!!
I GIVE IT A TEN/TEN!!!!
SIMPLY TERRIFIC!!
2007-02-08 10:53:49 · answer #8 · answered by ĢrØOvY ČĦ!CҜ!!! 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
hehe lol
2007-02-08 12:02:10 · answer #9 · answered by Baby G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hehehe i like this
2007-02-08 10:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by germanrose20 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋