Why do I make myself crazy over every little decision, and then end up regretting them all anyway?

Question

I seriously go through anguish over every decision... the big ones, like where to move (I've been trying to move for 2 years now, but keep hesitating and then not doing it)... and sometimes even really small/stupid ones, like which color of tweezers to buy. It's so ridiculous. And not only that, once I make decisions (either immediately afterward, or a day later, or whenever), I nearly always regret them and wonder the "What if" i had gone the other way, etc. I've wasted so much time, energy, and anxiety wishing I'd done various things differently, and it's really taking its toll on my life.

1. *What* could've made me this way, and
2. *How* can I stop?
I just want to be able to make decisions like a normal person: to decide easily, and to accept the outcome without feeling terrible, or with endless 2nd-guessing and ruminating every single time!

Answer 1

You are the type that have Security Deficit Syndrome. Like male ED, SDS is cured bye an understanding Mate.

Answer 2

I am the same way. My hubby complains because a trip in the store takes 2 or 3 times as long as it takes him because I have to stand there and decide which brand to get. I can't even make an easy decision on where to eat lunch. And in my town there are only 2 places to eat and they basically serve the same thing at the same prices. I blame my problem on the fact that when I was younger my parents always made the decisions and I never had choice in it. I am trying to quit being this way but it is hard. I seem to better when I am in a hurry and don't have all day to stand there and think about it. So maybe you could set a time limit on how long you are in the store.

Answer 3

Start small and work your way to the biggies.
Making a decision is based on a lot of different things.
Confidence plays a major role. Trusting yourself also plays a major role. I suggest you seek out a therapist to help you figure out what has caused it and help you with being OK with the choices you make.
Believe it or not..you choose to second guess, ruminate and feel terrible about. So that's a decision you come to pretty easily...
So maybe you should start there. Why you feel as though you cant trust your own feelings on any givin choice or decision.

Answer 4

This stems back to yr childhood. You must have been extremely insecure at one stage (or most) of yr childhood. don’t fret, it can be corrected, but will need the skills of a trained therapist. Self-differntiation, communication skills, self identity/esteem/worth/trust, and generalized anxiety issues, rational/irrational expectations will need to be evaluated. You say you just want to make decisions like a “normal person”, you must remember and train yrself to think of yrself as a "normal person" and keep in mind, that some decisions wont be quick or easy for most. Email me if you need further help and ill give it my best shot in helping...take care!

Answer 5

You sound slightly compulsive if you are agonizing over tweezers. I used to be very anxious and worrisome and now I take Zoloft. :) It helps me but if chemicals aren't what you're looking for maybe try meditating or some other relaxation techniques.

It sounds like you need to learn to have more confidence in yourself and your decisions. Just trust that you know right from wrong and can do what's best for you. If you can't, then who can??