how do you ask people for money rather than wedding presents?

Question

my partner and i are combining 2 households, so we dont really need anything at the moment. so we hit on the idea of a wedding postbox or wishing well.but how do you tell people you would prefer monetary contributions than presents?

Answer 1

Delicately...

Might be an idea to write a cute poem to go in with your invites, or do a little mini card with a piccy of a wishing well and on the front say 'for those who wish to purchase a gift', then inside explain that you have everything you need house-wise so a donation in your 'wishing-well' is all you would like...

Instead of cash, we asked for holiday vouchers. We paid for our honeymoon and then asked for vouchers from the travel agent. The day after the wedding we then called into travel agent and they refunded us the value of the vouchers xx

Answer 2

You can't ask nicely for money. It's tasteless, tacky, rude, bad mannered and GREEDY. Why do people getting married expect gifts? Why do they think their guests should pay for their wedding/honeymoon? You want a big wedding, you pay for it. Exotic honeymoon - save up or stay at home. Gifts should be given from the heart. The value is in the thought behind the gift, not how much it cost. I recently received an invitation to a workmates evening wedding reception, also inside the envelope was a demand for money. It was like charging an admission fee. I'm not going, neither are my colleagues. I'm sure if she didn't want the money she wouldn't have invited us.

Answer 3

What do you want the money FOR? ie. what do you intend to spend it on when you get it?

Maybe you'd like to decorate your house? Ask for B&Q/Wickes/Homebase vouchers.

A holiday? Ask for vouchers for a holiday company.

Better still - do you have a favourite charity? You could ask that people spend the money they would have spent on your present, on a donation to that charity.

Just a thought.....



Some people may wish to buy you something instead. If there's anyone you think might feel that way, it's probably best to speak to them personally.

(if you're at all concerned, do it anyway - and start early - it's surprising how long it takes to phone everyone!!).

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My wife and I were in a similar situation to you when we got married. We had plenty of cutlery, crockery, toasters, kettles etc. etc. but we were short of cash.

What was important to us though was that we could share our day with as many of the people who were important to us as possible. You've probably found out by now how expensive it is to feed all the guests you want to invite. So what we did was hired out a large hall and asked people to make a contribution to the buffet instead of conventional presents.

You've probably got an auntie who takes pride in her recipe for madeira cake or something - it'd be a nice gesture to ask her for that.

(make sure to give everyone a particular thing to bring, or you may end up with nothing but sausage rolls!!)

Whatever you think you want to go with, sound people out before you go along with it. If people seem ok with that, just go ahead, but don't make it a requirement of the invitation.

If there's nothing in particular that you want - just ask them to turn up.

Chances are, some people will want to give a gift as well, if so - vouchers could well be the way forward. If you get cash from anyone, put it towards something tangible. "We put it towards (eg) a new dining table" sounds better than "oh, it got swallowed up by the council tax". Plus you'll have something to look at that will remind you of your wedding day.

Good Luck and Congratulations

Answer 4

don't put anything on the invitations, that's considered tacky to a lot of people. sure, some people might not be offended, but some will - and is it really worth offending even one person?

what we did was have a very small registry, with just a few items on it - mostly things that we had that really needed an upgrade, and a few fun items.

if people ask you what to get, you can say, "oh, just your presence! but, we are saving up for house/vacation/whatever". they'll get the hint.

tell your parents/etc that you are having only a small registry because you don't need very many things. they'll spread the word that you'd prefer cash if anyone asks them.

Answer 5

Asking for money is the height of rudeness - don't do it. And one of those naff poems doesn't take away the fact that most people do not want to give money to the bride and groom.

John Lewis vouchers seems to be an acceptable way to do it or vouchers from another favourite store.

I knew a couple who actually gave their bank account details in the invitation and asked guests to 'deposit wedding wishes' in there!!

Tacky, tacky, tacky.

Answer 6

I got married at Xmas and was in the same boat! We mad little slips with a verse on and put them in with the inviations, I thought it was easier than having a house full of things we didnt need!
Here's the verse I hope it helps:

We are sending out this invitation,
And hope you join our celebration,
If to send a gift is your intention,
In modesty we would like to mention,
We've already got a kettle and a toaster,
Crockery, dinner mats and coasters,
So rather than something we have already got,
Please give us money for our saving pot,
But, most importantly we request,
You turn up as our wedding guest.

Answer 7

You don't. Sorry, but it is extremely rude to include any type of information about the gifts in an invitation. Doing so says that you expect gifts, but remember that wedding gifts are completely optional. Just tell your parents and bridal party that you prefer money, and don't register anywhere. Let it spread by word of mouth. Most guests bring money anyway.

Answer 8

Just put one of that little card in the invitation letter with your account number. They'll write in the figure. Its rude to ask but some people have a hard time deceiding on what to buy so they rather give the cash. Money rocks - presents are often worthless anyway

Answer 9

I asked for money but put it in a verse as we are in the same position as yourself, combining 2 households! we decided we wanted a facelift for the kitchen so put it in a poem in with the invites. Its not rude to ask for money as some are saying, I think it is honest and you are not wasting peoples money by buying you something you probably will never use!! Our verse went like this:

OUR WEDDING IS NEARLY UPON US,
ARRANGEMENTS ARE FALLING IN PLACE
WE PRAY THAT YOU'LL SHARE OUR DAY WITH US
TO PUT A GREAT SMILE ON OUR FACE!

WE HAVEN'T HAD TOO MANY HICCUPS
ARGUMENTS N STRESS AT A LOW
AND NOW THE DATES GETTING CLOSER
WE'RE READY AND RARING TO GO.

ITS 2 YEARS THAT WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER
WE'VE SETTLED IN STAFFORDSHIRE FINE
BUT THE KITCHENS IN NEED OF A FACELIFT
WE'LL SETTLE FOR OAK OR FOR PINE.

SP PLEASE INSTEAD OF A GIFT LIST
ITS MONEY WE'D LIKE TO REQUEST
OR MAYBE A VOUCHER FROM ARGOS
TO HELP KEEP OUR HOME AT ITS BEST.

Answer 10

I'm going to give you my personal experience with this kind of thing.

When I was in college a girlfriend of mine decided to get married to her boyfriend who was in the Armed Forces and shipping out soon to be stationed in Japan. When I recieved the invite it said this:
"Due to Jim and Marys move across seas we ask that thouse wishing to give gifts do so in cash form only."

My reaction: I immediately threw it in the trash can.

Now I was in COLLEGE and I knew this was in incredibly bad taste, believe me, adults are much more aware of such improprieties.

Do not make any mention of gifts at all. Let people bring what they want to the reception, you will probably find that if they cant find any gift ideas you will get money anyway.