Dear Mother and Dad:
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss
in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having
written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on,
please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY!
Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the
concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it
caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only get
those sick headaches once a day.
Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant
at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the fire
department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since
I had nowhere to live, because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough
to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room,
but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in
love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but
it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.
Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward
to being grrandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the
love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason
for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection
which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests and I carelessly
caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections
I am taking daily.
I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and
although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different
race and religion than ours, I know your oft expressed tolerance will not
permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker
than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is
good too, for I am told that his father is an important gun-bearer in the
village in Africa from which he came.
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was
no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was
not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I do not have
syphillis and there is no man (of any color) in my life. However, I am getting
a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science and I wanted you to see those marks
in the proper perspective.
Yours-
Your Loving Daughter
2007-02-08 01:40:24 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
That was a scare for mom & dad.
Here's one back at you:
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.
Who was the survivor? Two choices:
A. The perfect woman survived.
She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.
B. So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
2007-02-08 03:27:32 · answer #1 · answered by sprinting_turtle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats Hilarious!!! I've read it before but still couldn't stop laughing... Very Amusing!!!
2016-03-28 22:00:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that's a lot to read but funny. Mom probably didn't even finished reading before she passed out.
2007-02-08 02:03:11 · answer #3 · answered by laney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hehe thats a good one .... I just hope my daughter doesnt use that excuse on me!
I wish i had known that 15 years ago!
2007-02-08 01:54:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL...why didn't I think of this approach when trying to explain some of the grades I received in college to my mom?
2007-02-08 01:44:32 · answer #5 · answered by MissDiva1228 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A D and a F don't seem too bad comparing the above scenerio!!AHAHA!!!!!!!!
2007-02-08 02:52:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol - i might copy that letter to send to my mates adoptive parent - she's jus failed her Maths (again) and doesnt know how to tell them - is it okay if i pass that onto her!!
2007-02-08 01:59:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHA... I bet my sister could have used that one... sorry sis for bringing it up again
2007-02-08 01:49:58 · answer #8 · answered by buttercup9121 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good! Wish I had had that one when I was in school....oh wait....I was coming home pregnant and failing class!!!!! Guess it wouldn't have worked for me!!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!!
2007-02-08 02:13:18 · answer #9 · answered by unicorns_77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a bit of a go-around, but it is funny.
2007-02-08 02:07:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋