did u ever think it was ur fault ur parents divorced?

Question

i blame myself for my parents splitting up a lot....i mean...maybe if i wasn't in my teens and wasn't always in a bad mood maybe they would have had given it more try to make it work again...they divorced ....twice

Answer 1

No i never blamed myself for their divorce it was their relationship and their problems and i understood that my mum asked me what i thought of them separating at the time i was 11 and all i said was i don't really care if you guys are together or not i just want you guys to be happy if they are happier apart then there is nothing to worry about when they are happy they can be better parents

Answer 2

Aww, I'm sorry that you're going through this, but remember one thing, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!

Grown-ups have their own way of dealing with things, doing things. Sometimes, we just dont understand them. Look at everything in a positive sense. I mean, if you're parents did get divorced, they must know about what they;re doing. Maybe thats how things work out for them. Its their issue, and it has NOTHIN to do with you!!!

And about you always being in a bad mood?? Thats normal. And you being in a bad mood is no reason for your parents to split up. Or anything to do with you!!!

You said they got divorced twice right?? They must have had a reason then, and they probably have a reason now. Try talking to each one of them and try to find out why they split.

Sometimes, it just dosent click between two people, and if that happens, the best thing to do is split. I know this sounds harsh, but trust me, in the long run, its better of.

DONT BLAME YOURSELF!!

Try telling your parents about how you feel. If anyone can help you, tehy can. Sort out your feelings, lay them open in front of your parents.

Its not your fault, and it'll never be your fault.

Answer 3

No I did not...Don't you blame yourself either. It is not kids faults that parents divorce. They may fight over something that you do or not do but that is not the reason they divorce. You do need to get out of your bad mood now, because they both have enough to go thru without you being something else they have to deal with. Try and be there for them for a while. People fall out of love with one another for whatever reason. It is tough on us kids, but hey if your Dad or Mom can't make it and they have tried twice, then let the blame go where it is suppose to, on them.

Answer 4

Absolutely not! Although you are not alone. This is not your fault. If two people were meant to be together do you think a grumpy teenager would keep them apart? When you become a parent you will understand. Right now, you don't and it hurts you. That I understand. I think a good idea for you is to get some councilling at school. The good thing about that is you get to miss class for it and I think it will really help you to work somethings out for yourself. You may not feel better about it, but you will probably feel differently. In time this too shall pass.
Sending you hugs!

Answer 5

I can sorta relate to this. My father blamed me for his divorce from my step mom. I was a freshman in high school. But I did not fall into his own guilt. Because he was the one having an affair for 2 years before I told my step-mom. But she already knew. So don't blame yourself. Adults have just as many problems as teens if not more. Unfortunately some of them never grow up to take responsibility of their actions. So learn from their mistakes and do not make the same ones in the future.

Answer 6

Your parents splitting up had little or nothing to do with you. I'll bet the argued a lot; couldn't agree on anything; made you feel like you weren't even there sometimes... I know, I went through the same thing when I was 16.
Remember, they are adults; you're the child; whatever problems arose between them had their roots far in the past, so don't blame yourself.

Answer 7

If they divorced twice then after the first divorce they must have still felt something. But then divorcing again reaffirmed that their first decision was the better one. And, while you may think that your behavior may have contributed to the divorces, they both know that someday you would move out but that they would still be stuck with each other and they didn't want that.

Answer 8

Divorce is NEVER the childs fault. They have deeper issues than the moods of a teenager. Tell them how you feel and ask for an honest explanation. You'll be glad you did.

Answer 9

Some people just can not live with each other. But it does not mean that they don't love you or divorced because of you. It is apparent that at least they tried, and you never know,but maybe they tried again because they care so much about you.

Answer 10

i never thought like that. because you are not responsibe for your parents troubles and problems. lets examine all aspects. lets say that it was your fault that they broke up. if you were their only problem (keeping in mind that a child is not really a problem), and they split up because of it, then their love wasnt that strong to begin with. now lets go back to the idea that it definately wasnt your fault. every married couple out there, that has kids, have to deal with moody teenagers all the time and worse. and many of them stick it out and make it. they are the ones raising the kid, a kid who is growing up and what they have to do is educate that kid. now tell me, does getting a divorce take that responsability away? absolutely not. they still have to be there for you and educate you. and be your parents. i remember growing up my parents were always fighting. i would always wake up to them screaming eachother's ears off. i grew up and it was their responsability to help me deal with life and to help me grow into a woman. granted they werent so good at that, but does that make it my fault? no. might as well blame god for my existance. one time when i was in the middle of my teens my mom once said that i was one of the reason for my parent's fights, because i would tell my dad one thing and her another (which is something very common in teenagers). i turned to her and i told her "no mom the only reason is the absence of good communication between you two" she didnt say anything else. i hope you really understand that it wasnt your fault that your parents split up. it was theirs. think about something else, if it was your fault, then you would have been able to bring them back together again. this old lady once told me about her rebellious son, that he was the reason why her and her husband stuck together for so long. her son was a little rebel as a teen, and it was their job as parents to guide him in the right direction. they stuck together and they reached their goal. so you see? no matter how you look at it, it plain and simple isnt your fault hun, so stop blaming yourself.