Okay, here goes... I am recently jobless, and will probably start my new job on Monday. My dilema is this: My Daughter, who lives in another state, is about to give birth to her (and my first grandbaby) child. I feel as a mother i need to be there for her, but in respect to the child living with me, I need to work. I want so bad to go be with her at this time in her life. Yet things tie me here, like being the breadwinner. I dont know what to do.
Her doctor made me feel bad, asking her if I was still coming out, she said no, and he told her that its something thats kind of important, she will need the help.
I have cried a lot of tears over this. I want so bad to be there for her, but fear I cant. I hate the feeling of letting my kids down. I just dont know what to do.
I have money saved, i can afford the trip, but what if the jobs dont pour in when i come back? ( i have a good chance at a great job, something in my training, finally)
2007-02-08 01:29:00 · 10 answers · asked by LoverOfQT 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
It is the matter of weigthing opportunity and importance. It is important to stay with and help out the love ones when they are in difficult situations. Anyway you may enjoy the happiness of welcoming your grandchild. Job is is not less important but you said you have enough savings. Besides there should still have other work opportunity when you returns. I would suggest to find out from the future employer if you could be excuse for a short period of time because of family commitment. Most employer would be understanding and a nice outcome of being with your daughter and keeping your job. Worth trying. Even without the job, you would definitely not regret for such golden mement with your daughter and grandchild. Cheers.
2007-02-08 01:43:55 · answer #1 · answered by simck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you talk with your future employer and see about taking a week when the baby is there? I know a lot of people that have changed jobs and had to take time right away. Explain to them that you want this job and you will stay for it if they need you too but that you would like to help your daughter out. Then perhaps you can do both. Good luck
2007-02-08 01:34:19 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would stay and work. Your grandchild will still be there the next weekend for you to go visit. I'm assuming your daughter will not be alone during the birth (if so, then that's a different story). But she will make it through, there's nothing you can really do during that time but watch. Then you can go visit on the weekend.
I'm sorry you're in such a tough spot, but I think you have to do the responsible thing.
2007-02-08 01:33:36 · answer #3 · answered by tabs8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how important it is to be with your loved one at a time like this and being pregnant myself, having someone there for you at a time like this is frustrating...if you don't have someone.
But, is there anyone else that can be with her?? The baby's father not in the picture? How about a close friend or relative? I just really understand both sides, you need to work and she needs someone there for her. If she was to be completely alone i say go to her but if there is an alternative i say stay and work. You don't want to miss out on an opportunity unless you must!
2007-02-08 01:37:17 · answer #4 · answered by Curious J. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to work and you have responsibilities and that is perfectly understandable. I am shocked that the Dr. said something like that..that is very irresponsible and unprofessional. Honestly, unless she is physically unable to care for the child due to illness or a C-section, she does not NEED the help. It's nice but not a necessity. I wouldn't feel so bad, her and her husband are perfectly capable of caring for one baby. If she does not live that far, go for the weekend after the baby is born.
2007-02-08 01:39:09 · answer #5 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't help much with the dilemma but you might consider this. You cannot care for others if you don't take care of yourself. It's an accident of timing that your new job with a chance at a great future starts at the same time. There are nurses available to help new mothers. Spend some of your trip money on hired help for her.
2007-02-08 01:43:08 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter should understand your situation and not make you feel guilty for not being able to be there. Her Dr. needs to mind their own business. Why do they need to know if you are going to be there or not??? It sounds like maybe your daughter is going to be a single parent. Being one myself, although it is not easy, she will be fine on her own. You can still show your support in an emotional way from another state. Or maybe you could still go just for a short period of time?
2007-02-08 01:54:35 · answer #7 · answered by twopeas03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what my mother made my first born daughter birth and missed the second..........if your daughter is an understanding child she will understand your situation maybe at the time of birth you can be on the phone or she video tapes it but you need to think of priorities also...you finally got employed and that opportunity may not come knocking again.......your daughter knows you love her also
2007-02-08 01:37:52 · answer #8 · answered by genesis r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! i quite wish you had tried to the contact your father first instead of your obtainable siblings. it is a blessing or a curse...and also you received't comprehend which it really is going to be till you ensure that your information is authentic. that's an exceptionally sticky situation with both your father and his different children. Even in a complicated situation as this there's a organic order to issues and a protocol to be said. I say this because I gave up my daughter at delivery and placed her 36 years later...both one human beings needed to fulfill one yet another and yet, today, we are once back estranged. i do not propose to frighten you yet tread uncomplicated once you meet them. None of that's their fault because it really is likewise not yours! remember that they too are harmless in all of this. not understanding even if or not they have approached your father in this example is slightly disconcerting to me. in the experience that they have got, he may deny you exist. it surely relies upon on how complication-free he's been about his previous or if he even knew you existed! My daughter's father not in any respect knew i became pregnant and would not comprehend to this present day! On a thanks to regulate this assembly...all i visit propose is be your self and attempt to relax interior the area. there is not any what's next till all of you come to a call if there is to be a next step. perchance it is going to likely be unanimous, one way or the different, yet there is continuously a chance that upon assembly you they could be so floored they could't get their personal innovations collectively for a even as. do not ignore, their reaction to what's next lies heavily with the reaction of your father. In all honesty I wish i ought to help you extra with this. in case you want to, digital mail me and we may be able to communicate. I wish you the finest of success in this or perhaps though it seems, you have not lost something. actually, you've each little thing to attain. God bless!
2016-11-26 02:24:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are going to regret either decision so I would go with the one you think you can live with the most.
2007-02-08 01:36:49 · answer #10 · answered by V-Man the Tinknocker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋