I have posted questions on here regardig a nightmare three year old and have suggested going to a parenting clas with my other half to maybe improve how we are with him and if we can do better. The problem is, the three year old isnt mine but i am more of a dad to him than anyone has ever been and i just want the best for him and his mum. I have made a fe calls and one is starting shortly near us, but i have been told i shouldnt interfere and she has no need to go on the course whatsover. I tried to explain that she aint a bad mum but all of us can improve on something and its in the best interest of the little one if we can make lifebetter for him and us in the long run. She is still adamant she wont go and it has caused a bt of a row between us. Have I really done wrong here?
2007-02-08 00:50:53 · 8 answers · asked by Westley K 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
No but people can be funny about things like that. However tactfully you have put your suggestion to her; she clearly sees it as a reflection on her parenting skills. I think you should admit defeat and not broach the subject again. However, it would not hurt for you to read some books or materials on the matter to get some tips which you can possibly bring into the household that way.
2007-02-08 00:56:43 · answer #1 · answered by kchick8080 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a thoughtful, caring person. Not your fault that men and women see things differently, and react differently.
She didn't get the point. You were saying "we can do better for him." She heard that and thought "he doesn't think I am a good Mum." So what you intended to be as helpful, she sees as critical.
Drop the matter. Just do your best to love that little guy. Lots of attention and care. And, just as important, do your best to love that lady of yours, too.
Nightmares are very common in 3 yr olds. May be part of a normal development. Remember, it's a big, scary world to a little guy. His brain is trying to figure everything out. When he wakes up crying, hold him and soothe him so he knows he's okay.
2007-02-08 03:06:14 · answer #2 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't done wrong. Who has told you you shouldn't interfre?
If anything your behaviour should be appluded. You have taken on another mans child, something few men do happlil, and are striving to be the best dad you can.
A group near me runs parent time classes and I go even though I feel confident as it is a chance to hear other parents worries and reassure yourself things aren't really that bad!
Every parent can benifit from help!
2007-02-09 02:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't done wrong at all.
I've been to two parental classes and they have really helped me to understand my child. And now we don't have any problems with him.
I would recommend Parental classes to anyone. You will be with other parents in the same boat as you, and you will learn things from each other.
Plus i have kept in touchwith the other parents.
Of course you should interfere if you are going to bring up the child. You need to bond with the child.
Ask her what she thinks about going to a parent class?
Tell her they are the best thing going - as they are. You will be lucky to get on a class as they are so popular.
if she won't go on the class, you go on by yourself. Then when you see her suffering you can give her advice.
2007-02-08 01:54:22 · answer #4 · answered by midnightfolkuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you have not done wrong..if she wont go with you, go alone coz u can still pick up useful tips!
Explain to your gf that the reason you want to go is coz u love her little boy, and want to make sure that you are doing the correct kind of parenting coz u have no experience, and would like her to support you in this. That way she feels that she is helping you out, and doesnt see it as a criticsm of her parenting
good luck!
2007-02-08 09:22:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nightmare 3 years old are normal. have you heard of the terrible 2's? well you get the tantrum 3's, the feisty 4's the forgetful 5's the stroppy 6's need i go on? i'm on the thoughtless 10's at the moment but they can be just as good as they are bad and i love them regardless. just being a good dad (even if he's not yours) is all you need to do and i'm sure your other half would agree.you have to take the good with the bad that's just how kids are and my kids probably think i'm a nightmare too.
2007-02-08 01:06:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You not done wrong in my book. From the sound of it you sound more caring for the child than she does. Or maybe you are just a means to an end to her and parenting classes together is just too much of a 'commitment' ...?
2007-02-08 00:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by Part Time Cynic 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's really not much you can do if your not the real father. You'll just have to step aside and let mom do her thing.
2007-02-08 01:00:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋