My best (girl) friend is dating my ex, who is also one of my best (male) friends. When they hooked up, my girlfriend took things a bit fast and scared my male friend who told her that she was "pressuring" him and he didn't like it: he dumped her harshly. I was put in the very awkward position of having to console my girlfriend, who wanted to me to participate in bashing my male friend who had treated her so badly. As a good friend, I did what i could to console her and the break up destroyed her: it caused her to treat herself badly (drugs, alcohol, depression). It was really awful to watch. Fastforward a few months: I've told her that she needs to have no contact with this guy because he's toxic for her: she continues to talk to him and now she's going to visit him. I want to respect her rights as an adult but I do not want to have to be put in a position where I have to hear about the drama. Does it make me a bad friend to tell her that i dont want to talk about him with her?
2007-02-08 00:44:19 · 13 answers · asked by fancy_muskrat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, it does not make you a bad friend to not want to be put in that situation. I would agree with you, if he is toxic for her, treat this as you would a drug addiction. Don't enable her. Tell her you want no part of it, or the drama that goes along with it. In the long run, her drama takes you down. It sounds like you have done all you can to help her, and if she chooses him as her drug, than you will not be a part of it. I just wanted to make another point, he did not cause her to turn to drugs and alcohol, no matter how he dumped her, those were choices she made, and if she made those choices once, chances are, she will make them again.
2007-02-08 00:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by MommaSchmitt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My only question is, What kind of friends you keep? My answer is, don't get in the middle of that bizarre situation. Personally, I would never date a guy that my friend has dated, too creepy. Not to mention that the morals and scruples have just gone out the window altogether.
2007-02-08 00:53:23 · answer #2 · answered by earthstarlatin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would make you a bad friend for not listening...even if she is your best friend. She needs someone to talk to, not just keep things to herself. All them things that happened to her, you need to watch out for her. You need to care. A best friend should never tell their other best friend that they don't want to talk about anything, especially if its important.
Listening doesn't hurt, at least it helps the other person, later she'll thank you for everything!
2007-02-08 00:49:37 · answer #3 · answered by ♥mcmanda♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a best friends 3 way is on the horizon.
2007-02-08 00:46:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your girl friend has some serious maturity issues.
Don't get caught up in the mess and tell her not to involve you.
2007-02-08 00:49:59 · answer #5 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt make oyu the bad person here.you are the one in the bad spot now.its up to you what you want to do.if possible.you should let them settle their own problems themselves.if you are pulled into the picture,you might no be able to help and on top of that you are stressing yourself out.so why bother?
2007-02-08 00:49:44 · answer #6 · answered by BeLiEvEinMIE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it don't. I can understand why that you don't want to hear about it. Unfortunteately, she may have more rough times ahead. Unless, maybe, somehow you can get him not to communicate with her. Unless, he don't care about her at all and just let her fall further from where she is now.
2007-02-08 00:51:26 · answer #7 · answered by ********* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing wrong there m8 ive had my share of it stay neutral and make it clear to her and him..they will both respect ytopu more for not intervining and the one who wants you to intervine with violence is not much of a friend is she or him
2007-02-08 00:49:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flash news boy! It is not youre best friend anymore.
2007-02-08 00:47:46 · answer #9 · answered by Jerdy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats some jerry springer stuff
2007-02-08 00:47:37 · answer #10 · answered by laydenirvine 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋