I have a alchoholic father that I haven't spoke to in 7 months or seen in 3 years he has made alot of bad choices in his life and I just choose to keep my family away from it all!! I think he needs to grow up and quit partying he's 51 years old and he has hurt so many people in his life over the years my mom left him when I was 14 because of his partying ways. my ? is would you still talk to him or would you just stay away?
2007-02-08 00:06:02 · 11 answers · asked by dirt77 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There is some great support for people in your position. It's called Al-Anon. I'm sure you want what's best for your father so it's good to make sure any interaction you have doesn't enable his behavior. These people have great advice that really makes sense. Best wishes.
2007-02-08 00:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by cynical jade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I went through the same exact scenario. I didnt talk to my father for years because of his drinking and hurtful things he did. At this point in my life, I had to let go of the anger and frustration I was feeling for him. You can forgive your father and talk to him but if he continues to upset you then I would stay away but keep the forgiveness. If he sometime wants to know why you stay away you need to be honest with him. If he cant accept it then at least you did your part. Life is too short to not want a relationship with your dad. hes the only dad you will have.
2007-02-08 01:08:59 · answer #2 · answered by justicenow232 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a woman of chances but appearantly you've given him that and until he realizes that he is 51 and not 15 you should stay away. If he's hurt people before he'll do it again because he can't change on his own, my suggestion is that you pray and let God handle it, and if never gets better, he was never meant to be a part of your life and that doesn't mean don't love him, just distance your self from unnecessary pain.
2007-02-08 01:01:04 · answer #3 · answered by sweetness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should continue speaking to him. He's your father and I'm sure he loves you. Alcoholism is a disease that takes over peoples lives and affects everyone around them. I'm not saying to enable him, but maybe through conversations you could let him know that you love him and would love to have him more involved in your life, but that his drinking is hindering it. I'm sure he is aware that his drinking has hurt very many people, and I'm sure he feels bad about it...the fact is they can't help it. He needs to get involved in AA, it is never too late. I have a brother who was same way...but through everything, he was always a really wonderful, loving person. It's like the more guilty he felt, the more he used to drink. You can support him, but you can't cure him. Try to encourage him to start attending AA. Also there is Al-Anom for people who live or deal with others who are alcoholics. I wish you and your dad the best!
2007-02-08 00:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it can be very easy for you to get conflicting advice here, and I would suggest that you get in touch with an organisation called Alanon - it was set up by the families of people suffering from alcoholism, to support each other... It is an international organisation . They I am sure will not only advise you on what you options are, but help support you through your decision making process and onwards in the future.
I wish you the best of luck.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
2007-02-08 00:21:42 · answer #5 · answered by stepfordswiss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you have spoken to him in the past. How did that work for you? If you think you can handle that then go ahead and continue. Your family is not exposed to his childish ways and you are doing something you obviously find some comfort from.
2007-02-08 01:04:49 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you should do is speak to him, but not rely on him for anything. He IS your father and you should honor him for that, but obviously, you can't expect much from the relationship. Speak to him, but keep it at a minimum. You can meet every few months for a short lunch... If you find it difficult to communicate with him, speak to a therapist.
Good Luck!!
2007-02-08 00:10:42 · answer #7 · answered by KB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know how you can keep talking to him when he refuses to help himself. He's in denial about everything that he's doing or has done. He gets drunk over and over to cover it up. The only way he's gonna get better is if he comes out of denial, and gets treatment for himself. But that has to be HIS choice.
2007-02-08 00:10:57 · answer #8 · answered by Bud's Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you have kids keep them away from him. But I think you should get him help and talk to him on the phone.
<3 Love/No Day But Today
*Abby*
2007-02-08 00:30:55 · answer #9 · answered by justanothergrl88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want or need an alcoholic in my life. Until he straightened up his act, he can just keep right on planning of not being a part of my life.
2007-02-08 00:17:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋