what constitutes as a "good mother" is age a factor??

Question

i am asking because well we all know that girls are having babies younger and younger these days. i know a 16 year old that just had a baby and i feel bad for her son already, its mean to say but i have observed her in person and i just cant get over how stressed she got everytime he even made a noise, she actually at one point told him to shut up. i'm not calling her a bad mom because i know its hard i'm only 21 and i have a 17 month old and one on the way, but i NEVER yell or tell my child to shut up, even when he was a baby. but then i know another 16 year old that has twins and she is as calm as could be with those babies, its like she was born to be a mom. she cuddles with them and sings to them and just does everything she can to keep them calm. i think its hard with 1 i couldnt image being 16 with twins, i'm just wondering can a 16 year old who has a baby be a better mom than say a 21 year old or a 25 year old? does age really matter when it comes to raising a child?

try to look past the money issues for a second and think about what it actually means to be a good mom.

Kvcar2
i just wanted to let you know that you read me wrong completely i may have one child and another on the way but i have also graduated high school gone to college and i have a very good job with great benefits for me and my children, it wasnt a question about myself it was in general. thanks for you concern but you were wrong.

Answer 1

No, I don't think age constitutes as being a good mom or bad mom. I believe it's all in the temperment of the mom's personality. I've met all kinds. Two friends of mine who got stressed at the smallest squeak out of their babies and went running. These moms were at the time 32 and 40.

Perhaps you could suggest to this 16 year old that it's not really nice to say "shut up" to the baby. Perhaps you could watch her child for an hour or so, then the mom wouldn't be so stressed out. 16 is pretty young to have a child of her own. I had my first at 20 and couldn't believe the responsiblity and time, effort it took to take care of a little baby. My life changed...now my kids are older, out of college and on their own. They're doing wonderful. So people that have their children at a young age can do just fine. Plus, they have the energy for all their activities instead of having kids when they're say in their forites. Everyone wants what's best for their child, no matter what age they have them. So it all comes down to answer your question that it depends upon how "calm" the parents can be and age doesn't matter. Usually, it's how they were brought up...they probably will be a lot like their parents. :) And life goes on and on and on...generation to generation.

Answer 2

With money issues aside, age has little to do with being a good mother. There are lots of factors to consider. How the person themselves was raised. More often than not, mothers imitate their own mothers when raising a child. I know that isn't always the case, but most times it happens. Motherly instinct is another factor...some women just come by it naturally. Some need alot of help knowing what to do. In my opinion, the 1st 16 y/o that you are speaking of might never had any experience with babies (like cousins, neices, or whatnot) and just doesn't realize that is how a baby communicates. Her own mother could have been that way toward her all her life. So therefore that's all she knows. With the other 16 y/o with twins (God bless her lol), she could have the natural motherly instinct, been around lots of babies before having her own, and had a mother who was just as loving to her. I know this isn't always the case, because from experience, I had a horrible childhood with a mother who would tell me all the time to get out of her face. As I was growing up, I decided that I would never treat my children like that because I know how it made me feel. I never want to make my kids feel unwanted. I was a teen mother. I feel like I done a pretty good job with my daughter. She's 13 now and is a very well rounded person, who has a lot of love in her heart for others. I only pray that I have done (and will continue to do) a good job raising my kids. Age really doesn't matter (for the most part) in raising kids. Maturity does though. I have known older mothers who are horrid to their kids. I feel sorry for those kids too. In any case, old or young, I think that the mothers who are like the first one that you describe, needs counseling and parenting classes and lots of support.

Answer 3

I do not think it is necessarily a matter of the age of the mom. I think it has more to do with the maturity of the mom in question. I am a 29 yr old mom of 4 that had her first child at 20. I have taken care of my kids thru some really rough times etc, but my little sister is now 21 and she has 2 kids of her own and I am constantly on her butt about what she is doing to those kids. She was not mature enough at the age of 17 to have a baby, mind you she loves her kids dearly but she is not done with her parties and drinking etc so she should have waited a bit longer. She pawns her kids off on anyone possible at any given time. Where as a "good mom" takes time to plan out her child's sitter and what if there is an emergency etc.

Answer 4

OK I am 25 and have an 8 yr old and a 3 yr old, both boys. I got pregnant at 15, and had my son when I was 16. I was so scared but knew that I could do it. I was raised in a great family and was lucky enough to be able to stay with my parents. I did everything on my own, including getting myself on insurance, working part time to pay for my sons necessaties, going to school, and aquiring daycare for my son. I loved that boy more than anything thing else in the world from the first time I felt him move in my womb. I am a great mom, and have been since day one. I think that age does play a factor in good parenting, but more than that I beleive that your family history plays the biggest factor. As with anything, If you have a supporting family behind you, you'll do great. My kids are my life, and I have made a few sacrafices for them, but nothing compares to the love of a child. If you are raised with love patience and compassion, you will most likely pass this on to your own children. I am now 25 work full time for a great company, have a great fiance, and love my life.

Answer 5

A mother is a unique persona. She bears for nine months, she nurses with her own blood, she rears and ensures a smooth and orderly growth of the infant, looks into the emotional and educational aspects of the growth of personality of the child, she is a very critical factor in a child's life. That is why, mothers are mothers and remain mothers--a powerful force but an ocean of care and kindness1
Age only adds to ones experience but otherwise would not have much else to do. Love and kindness are germane as traits of a mother and one can have them right from childhood. however, the true beginning is when another life is growing within you. The feelings then wold be superb and lofty thoughts would affect the qualities of the baby in the womb.
No person in the world can be perfect. A mom who snubs a child for something or even on account of her own stress or a personal problem could, at best, be suffering a temporary aberration. it may not reflect the true personality of the mom. I have seen even young moms returning absolutely fatigued and battered after their job and then seeing their kids for the first time climbing the heavens with all smiles and smiles and smiles, as if all the fatigue is gone and all the joys of the world have come back. Such is the power of a kid giving a smile.

Answer 6

ok not taking into consideration money issues, age does matter. I dont have child, im 21 as well and lots of my friends have kids, they started when they were 17, 18, 19. I think the reason why age is important is because my friends only just got out of school most never had a proper job. So what can they teach their children in the long run, they have no life experience expect going to high school and getting pregnant, I just pray that they dont let their children become what they are, it will turn into a vicious cycle. Its not good for them, their kid or society.

Answer 7

I think almost anyone can be a good mom, regardless of age. My best friend when I was younger had a half-sister born when she was 12. Having 3 other sisters under the age of 4, she often did a lot of taking care of the baby. At 12 she could change diapers, feed the baby, rock her to sleep and would even get up in the middle of the night sometimes to rock her back to sleep so her mom could sleep. I really think that it is just a natural instinct that most women are born with.

Answer 8

There is a difference between being a good parent and a responsible parent. Anyone can be a good parent but being a responsible parent is what society needs. A good parent can sing to the child and give it lots of attention which is very important but a responsible parent will do those things plus think before they act. Age does matter to a certain point but it is not the most important thing.

Answer 9

I don't see age being the big factor as compared to personality and circumstances. As for her being stressed. Babies are stressful, especially when you are new to the game. She is overwhelmed by the responsibilty. I know there were moments where I was going on a few hours of sleep for a week, My stepdaughter was out of control and the baby wouldn't stop crying. I broke down in tears and begged him to be quiet. Each day that goes by things get easier.

Answer 10

No, not exactly. It all depends upon mental personality and maturity of mind. First of all mother must have all those characters and discipline, which a normal person must have, then only she can behave in that sense and also can teach her children accordingly. There are good mothers , still bad children and there are also bad mothers and very good children. But, basically mother must be a well matured person, it is immaterial, whether she is 18 or 30 or 80.