I'm feeling too stressed at work to do my job properly - what should I do?

Question

I'm a nurse. I work nights in a nursing home and I usally adore my job.

My work load is unsafe and my residents are at risk at best and neglect at worst. My manager has proved herself to be completely unsupportive in response to my concerns.

I feel I am in the minority in my belief that the elderly deserve quality care and have constantly complained - even whistleblown! I have been acting as advocate for my residents for the past five years, but to no avail and now my health is suffering.

I rang in sick for my shift tonight because I can't bear the thought of going in again - last night was bad enough!

Is it time to look for another job, or do I just need time out?

Answer 1

It sounds as though you've done everything you can to help your residents. If you're ill, you're no good to them, so you need to take a break. Whilst on your break you can contact all and sundry, again, and see if someone will do something but only do this when you have had a week or so resting and trying to forget. Local papers are a good source, but only when you have decided that if you lose your job it's possible you mightn't be employed in such a position again. (because you might be seen as a trouble maker). You're like me, you care way too much and don't understand why others aren't the same. (that's why my family beg me never to work with people).

If you pack up this type of work, who will be there to help watch over them? Who will really care? Stuff what your manager says... she's like the others - it's just a job. You do what you can, but you MUST ensure your health comes first. Without people like you there would be more abuse.

I know it's hard to let go but if you do, try to get a job fighting against such things as abuse and neglect. You do need a job where you care, but you're not so hands on.

I wish you so much love and good luck. Sorry for such a long answer.

Answer 2

I am a nurse also and work with the elderly on a stroke rehabilitation ward,i know exactly what you are feeling here,with all the cut backs at the moment in the NHS patient care is most definitely compromised.You sound like you are the residents only ally,dont look for another job,as the care they receive will only decrease further when your gone,my advice,take some time out,theres no sense making yourself ill worrying,then go and speak to your manager again,if she still doesnt listen go to the local paper,this should make them sit up and take notice.
Most people who are in the health care proffession shouldnt be there,but you sound like your a good nurse who provides quality care,dont give up hun.

Answer 3

Obviously you have a problem, but please don't take the easy way out and simply get another job! Your main concern at this time is the people in the nursing home. Whatever you have done, it's obviously not enough! MAKE CERTAIN that the treatment these people are getting is brought to the attention of someone who will DO something! If nothing else, email me the details, and I will report it and get something done. Vulnerable people are more than just deserving of the correct treatment, it is their RIGHT! DO SOMETHING, NOW! Think of how good it will feel when things are put right. You will be happier, but more importantly, the residents will be happier!

Answer 4

Sorry to here that dear!-- the trick is to catch yourself not living for the moment and bring your attention back to what’s happening now. How: stop and contemplate the way you’re feeling. Key question: do you feel okay? If so, you’re probably living in the here and now. Or: are you starting to feel annoyed and uptight? Your mind may be wandering off elsewhere. You’ll always be ‘about’ to start living- but never actually will. Essential: bring your attention back to what you’re doing now - the less your mind strays, the more you’ll enjoy life.
Live in the present. Fact: life would be much easier if we could just live in the here and now. But: too often, we spend our time being concerned about the future; what’s going to happen tonight, next week or when we retire. Or: we devote our time to living in the past, going over everything that’s happened to us. And: we find ourselves making excuses for doing this. Examples: ‘Well that’s just the way I am’, ‘I can’t help it’. Result: we postpone our happiness until some future date - ‘I’ll be happy later, once I’ve sorted this out.’
I wish you all the best and always keep your hopes alive!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Well i know what you mean by they need to be treated better. My mother had to stay in one for a while, and i kind of moved in there to make sure she got the right care. But most of the people that are in there, don't have people coming in and so they do not get the care that they should be getting , and lot of nurses that really cared have quit working there, cause they could not stand what is going on there. so you could bring in the office of civil rights, for the people that are in there, i can tell you now that they will not like having the office of civil rights on their back and coming it to check to see if they are takeing care of those people. And they will just pop in. I know i have had to use them a few times my self. So maybe it is a time for you to look for another job, and then maybe you just need to take a time out from there, til your stress level is close or back to normal. Cause stress is really bad for youk and it will causse a lot of things to you,, like depression, and a lot other things. So you really have to decide if it is the place that you are workig at that has stressed you out so much. You could even go to a therapist and talk about it, and they could tell you what to do about what is happening there.

Answer 6

Don't give up yet. Book a week off and take a holiday even if its to cornwall.
If after that break you go back to work and are still stressed then that might be a new time to look for a job.
Is it just work that you are stressed about or are there other aspects of your life that you are feeling low about? Maybe you need to consider all the aspects of your life and make sure it definatly is your job that is the problem

Answer 7

You know I just quit my job for that same reason.

Bottom line is I don't think it's your job, more of it's your personal life. I always hear don't bring home to work , and vise versa. I can't really tell you if it's personal or it's your job. I don't know you to make that decision.

But two things to look at. First is the job. Make a list , mental or writing it down of the pros and cons of the job.

Next do the same about personal. Are you happy with yourself? Are you single, married have kids etc.

Add all of these things up and it will isolate your problems, if it comes down to both, then Yeah you have serious issues, as it was both in my case. I think your alot like me that wants to help and make a difference to make yourself feel good, because nothing else is giving you that. If you can afford to quit than quit, and take some time for yourself, and dig deep as to what you want. Not of all lifes problems have quick easy solutions.

My grandfather when he was alive said if you find yourself waking up hating your job then find something else. We are here for a short time, and if your not happy it will show in your work performance. Getting fired looks worse than quiting.

Bottom line Evalute everything in your life, once you discover that your one step closer to some releif.

Answer 8

I would try to contact the appropriate government agency concerning the quality of care in nursing homes. This is a very big deal in NC and is in the newspapers all the time. I would also start looking for another job; you can't let your own health deteroirate. Here is awebsite to search:
www.elderabusecenter.org
This a national website. Good luck.

Answer 9

I think you need to look after yourself first before even considering trying to look after sick people. Sounds to me like you need to be looked after.. Maybe some sick leave. Talk to your doctor. Nursing someone is irkesome and can be very trying even more so if you are unwell yourself... You ned to sort yourself out my love or your health and your stability will suffer. You must have like your job at one point as nursing is not something you go into with your eyes closed...Even ANGELS need TLC and sounds to me like you need a break...Maybe then while you are on your break you can evaluate your situation and make a more rash decision...Good Luck X

Answer 10

Erincate you should leave that job straight away not only are your patients at risk as you yourself have retorted but its got to you and can give you a breakdown so the answer is plain LEAVE now Good Luck I'm sure your a grand person