My daughter is marrying shortly and has been living with her partner for nearly 3 years, their daughter will be 16 months old. They would like to ask their wedding guests to pay for their meal instead of receiving gifts.
2007-02-07 21:48:21 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I agree with most of the others that it is a bit tacky to ask but it wouldn't be the tackiest thing I've seen at a wedding or leading up to a wedding. If you aren't giving them options on dinner then asking them to pay for a meal is going to be a hard sell. If you are and are hosting the reception somewhere most of your guests would enjoy they might shrug their shoulders and go okay. Regardless you should be prepared for a fair number of guests to decline attending rather than go along with the BYOP (bring your own plate) type of deal.
2007-02-11 16:53:49 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Oh, no, that is not okay at all. First, it is extremely rude to ask guests for any type of gift (remember that they're optional). Even asking for money instead of presents is rude, especially in the invitation.
Second, the hosts of a wedding (and any formal party, actually) are supposed to pick up the tab. Guests should never, ever be expected to pay for their meal. Your daughter needs to cut her guest list or find a cheaper place to have the wedding if she can't pay for her guests. How long they've been together and how old their daughter will be doesn't matter at all.
2007-02-08 02:00:34 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sure, ettiqiette is a dying craft, but even so, it's still generally considered very low class to insist or expect that wedding guests pay the hosts anything more than the honor of their presence.
Gifts are NEVER an obligation, so it would be beyond gauche to bill the costs of the reception back to those visitors unfortunate enough to attend.
However, if the couple remain set on viewing their wedding as a potential cash windfall, perhaps they can simply mail out their invitations with invoices enclosed; this will minimize any risk of non-cash gifts, plus the couple can add a sweet personal touch by tailoring the invoice fees individually to accommodate whatever amount they feel a given guest should be willing to offer.
2007-02-07 22:53:00 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Right 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, it's not ok under any circumstances. The analogy of having guests over for dinner fits throwing a wedding party perfectly. Have the party and invite the guests you can afford. If your daughter does not have a registry, word of mouth will be that they'd prefer to receive money and that should, in a round about way, help with some of the costs.
2007-02-08 14:04:54 · answer #4 · answered by mickeymouse 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a wedding planner I can say your request is tacky!! It's like inviting someone to dinner and asking them to pay...a huge no no!
Since they've been living together for 3 years, household item needs are probably minimal. Use the oppourtunity to upgrade. Eg. if you receive a blender, sell the old one on eBay or craigslist. or hold a garage sale!
Instead of registering at traditional places for gifts, register w/ an airline or travel package towards the honeymoon.
Register to receive some key baby items as well!
Instead of renting a hall, go to a restaurant, many places have private party rooms (nominal, sometimes no cost)
But if you must rent a hall, avoid saturdays and summer months
Have a cash bar instead of an open bar
Instead of a full plated dinner...try doing buffet style
Instead of a dinner try a brunch or a lunch
Hope this infor helps! Good luck!
2007-02-07 23:47:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do you ask guests in your home to pay for their dinner or do you just leave a bill next to their plate? Seriously, hosting a wedding is just like asking friends or family over for dinner. If you wouldn't ask them to pay for a meal in your home, then why would you ask them to pay for their meal at the wedding?
It is never polite to ask for gifts, whether they be material or monetary. Gifts at weddings and other events may be customary but they are not obligatory. You may only tell guests that the couple would prefer monetary gifts **IF** the guests asks.
If you can not afford to feed your guests you should consider having a cake and punch reception.
2007-02-07 22:07:57 · answer #6 · answered by Just Jess 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't.... but maybe they could put the cost of the meals onto a credit card and pay it off with the gift money? You can find meals for $10 and under....and I'm pretty sure most gifts are more than that.
Or maybe have a pot luck reception! If we had more family nearby and not traveling, I would actually probably be doing that for my wedding.
2007-02-07 23:17:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you cannot afford to give the guest a meal on the wedding day why first of all you want to call them.
2007-02-07 21:51:20 · answer #8 · answered by ssmindia 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OH MY GOD, THAT IS BY FAR THE TACKIEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD OF, EVEN WORSE THAN BLATANTLY ASKING FOR MONEY! Absolutly not, if they can't afford to feed the wedding guests, then they shouldn't invite them, or have such a big wedding. they are GUESTS, would you ask a guest in your home to pay for dinner you served? I would hope not! this is the same principle, NO NO NO NO NO, you can't do that!
2007-02-08 03:04:27 · answer #9 · answered by ASH 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter can register to have gifts purchased at one particular store / establishment, including one that would supply them with basic necessities for the coming year or two.
Try this website: http://www.ehow.com/how_3976_register-wedding-gifts.html
Ask wedding guests to pay for their meal?...One word: gauche.
2007-02-08 00:50:33 · answer #10 · answered by H. Scot 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋