i talked to my boyfriend last night ( we haven't spoke since last wednesday night when he told me he loved me) and he says that although he loves me we can never work out and that we should stop this now. he was crying and told me i was his soulmate. should i try to win him back or should i let him go? this hurts so much and he feels it too! advice please.
2007-02-07 21:35:25 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i told him i love him too. he didn't give me a reason why we couldn't work out. but his ex-fiance hurt him very deeply ( she cheated on him and got pregnant by this other guy)
2007-02-07 21:51:22 · update #1
He spoke to you last wednesday, said he loved you, but things wouldnt work out, a week later he calls and tells you that you are his soul mate. Listen, please do not fall for the 'crying' part, cos' even if he was genuinely crying, and genuinely does love you, he is confused at this point of time. Why would you take an ''effort'' on your side to ''win him back'' ? Do you have to ''win'' him back, I mean win someone back who is not sure ? He should be the one to win you back as he is the one who told you things arent working right, but you are his soul mate ? You do not have to take an ''effort'' to win him ''back'' over this, but you can always re-assure him, make him comfortable, and let him tell you why things wouldnt work out ? Find out from him, let him do the talking, and you just listen..A person who is sure that you are his soulmate, wouldnt be confused on the ''working out'' part, cos' love would conquer all those issues all by itself, on its own time.
I am really sorry that it really does hurt, I am sure it does, and I am sure you do want things to be alright, but that is not enough, right ? I mean, it works both ways. He called, he cried, you listened, and I think you should just listen for now. Get all the messages right, I mean look beyond the tears, and look at the person here and the prospects of a relationship ahead. Wait, give him time. He must be having his own reasons, and you know better too on what has happened between both of you. So, just give it time....wait, and then take another step, and ofcourse you too may need some thinking, cos' you dont want to be hurt here too, I mean at a later point, suddenly he realises againthat it wouldnt work out, and your left to do all the crying by yourself, that would be bad, right ?
I am sure you'll know soon, the answer to this. For now, look beyond the pain, it would pain now, but at a later point in time you would really feel good that it didnt go any further and bringin more pain to you, and to him...
good luck
2007-02-07 21:56:04 · answer #1 · answered by arya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt just like you when my girlfreind pulled the plug on me after a four year relationship. I thought the world had stopped spinning as my life was in total chaos. I still love her even now, but that was about twenty years ago and if my wife found out she'd strangle me I expect. My point is this...time is a great healer and there's going to be another oppotunity for love in the future. Dont think that the end of this relationship will be your last chance of finding your soulmate, there's plenty of fish in the sea and you'll land yourself a prize catch when you least expect it. You never know, you might be able to patch it up with this chap and work it out. wo says follow your heart. forgive my spelling.,
2007-02-07 21:48:13 · answer #2 · answered by "THE WISE ONE" 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it hurts but every relationship has a ending. He said that you both can never work it out, what is he trying to hind?Did he ever work it out with you, did he try? He loves you? why will he let you go and see you in pain? if he really love you, he would try to work things out at any cause. I suggest that you both should calm down and just stay as friends.
Advice: Don't be sad. there are many other guys out there that will be better. Spend the valentine's day with your friends and family who deserves better! =) SMILE!
2007-02-07 21:50:57 · answer #3 · answered by switty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds unstable to me. He's "crying" and claiming to be your soulmate yet at the same time, telling you that you two should stop? Yes, move on with this one while you can and cut your emotional loss right now.
The world is full of people. There are many that you can pair up with that will be no doubt as to the match. If in doubt, throw him out....
2007-02-07 21:40:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You dont say why he doesn't think it can work.
IF he is your soulmate then it may be that the time just isn't right for him and you both need to sit down and talk it through - in person to sort out things.
If it isn't right then take some time to accept it and move on - if he is your soulmate then you two will happen - when the time is right for both of you.
2007-02-07 21:48:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world did he say that?! What was his reason?
Sounds a bit odd, you get him back and stick with him! To say he loves you and that you're his soulmate then finish it a couple of days later sounds strange so I hope you can work it out!
2007-02-07 21:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs Stevo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is tell him you'll respect his decision-though it really hurts. There must be some underlying problem-or (and I hate to say this) something he hasn't told you that he doesn't want you to know about. Whatever it is,agree to step back. If you are his soulmate,he'll come back for you.
2007-02-07 21:45:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well firstly you need to ask why it is that he thinks you can never work out. If its something that neither of you can change, then it probably is better to break up sooner rather than later. Did you tell him that you loved him back? If you didnt and thats why hes breaking up with you, then you need to tell him that you may not love him yet, but you feel that one day you will. It sounds like you really care alot about him, so talk to him rather than avoiding him like you've been doing.
2007-02-07 21:41:36 · answer #8 · answered by laislinns 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's afraid of the commitment. Do nothing. Let him know you will be here. If you are soul mates, it will work out. But do not pressure him to leave nor to go. He's got to grow up and work through it. Give him a few weeks. It cannot happen too fast, or it will be too intense.
He might be somewhat obsessive, and live his life through you. If that's true, he's afraid to commit to you, because he knows he'll lose you one day. A tough situation.
2007-02-07 21:41:17 · answer #9 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it a go, love is worth everything.
Dont make it so complicated, try and take a step back and work it out. If the thought of breaking up is upsetting, then dont do it! Just try and make it a bit more casual...
Love is a many splendoured thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all we need is love!!
Good luck hun xx
2007-02-07 21:40:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋