I'm 5'2", and most of my family members are average or shorter than average, except one of my brothers who is 5'11" but it sure gets old when his wife who's 5'10" seems to think that being short is not good I guess since it looks like her daughter is growing taller and taller every day we see her and she points out how good it is that her girl is getting taller than some of relatives so far, but she just WON'T STOP! and she really thinks( considering her comments) that tall people are BETTER than short people eventhough she knows that isn't even important to us. How do we make her understand in a racional maner that we just don't see that as the most important thing in life just like she does?
2007-02-07 21:08:17 · 16 answers · asked by Dela 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would say, "Obviously, height is very important to you so I'm glad your daughter is getting taller so you won't be diasppointed in her, poor thing"! and walk away. If she continues whenever you're together, say "We get it, you think taller is better, can we talk about something else!?" and change the subject. Don't be rude, just say it matter-of-factly. She'll get the message that it's offensive. Hopefully, she'll apologize for her behavior and everyone can move on. I'm surprised your brother has told her in private that she must stop this. That's the next step if she continues--talk to your brother and let him handle it, it's his shallow wife. Good Luck!
2007-02-08 01:03:47 · answer #1 · answered by Kimmi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she probably keeps it up because her behavior is being reinfoced by something... try and figure out what it is, and do the opppsite.
for example, when she says stuff like that, people might give her attention, or laugh, say "oh yes, isn't that nice," etc.
my advice would be, whenever she makes a height comment, stare at her for a minute. don't say anything, and don't have any expression except maybe disappointed or disinterested. just let her wallow in the silence for a good ten seconds and let her comment echo through the quiet room. then say "well, anyways.." turn away from her, and change the subject. repeat as often as necessary. and tell other bothered family members to do the same. soon she'll learn that there is no satisfaction in saying this stuff and she won't be motivated to say it.
2007-02-07 21:35:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignoring her is the mature way to handle this issue. I totally understand the old-school ways but don't always agree.What i do is listen, take interest n say your going to apply her advice in where ever it may be needed.Not to be rude,short n disrespectful I make the comments seem like jokes. Just be friendly,respectful n polite. In time the visits n relationship with you n your husband n his family will overall improve with just being the bigger person!!
2016-03-28 21:52:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try growing up and having a real conversation with her. But before you go there, because most people can rarely make a deep meaningful connection with more than one or two other people in their entire lifetime, try saying "if you say so."
It is polite. It sends a messge. It is succinct. When someone says "if you say so" in response to something you have said what do you see that as meaning?
It is how it is said as much, in reality moreso, than what is said specifically. If you say so.
Practice it. Perfect practice = better results. If one tactic fails try another.
2007-02-07 21:16:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wrestle her - she's probably to gangly to do anything.
Seriously, you could ask your brother to say something, but then you've put him in the middle of it and HE should have said something by now to his wife; after all, she is making fun of his flesh and blood.
Have a word with her, take her aside and say something along the lines of "Enough already, we get the fact that we are not as tall as you; we understand. Its old and frankly, we're tired of you making us feel uncomfortable about ourselves."
End of the day, she probably had issues being called names growing up. Don't lash out one day, just take her to another room and explain how she is making you feel and that otherwise, you love her because she is family.
...but I still say wrestle her if she continues.
2007-02-15 04:08:20 · answer #5 · answered by Slimslimmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly if she keeps it up, she might need to be knocked back down to reality...say "heigth isn't everything...intelligence is more importatant & if you have to put down other people you must have some seriuos issues within yourself." (saying it in front of other people may make her open her eyes & make her realize she is hurting your feelings by putting down on peoples heights...weight or any other issue. She may realize that it's RUDE!)or say.." people don't chose their height in life, you are what you are but people do have a choice in being intellegent or ignorant!" Good luck!
2007-02-08 01:18:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IGNORE HER ! When my sister-in-law makes rude remarks, we just go on talking as if she isn't even there. She gets the message and ends up going to sit somewhere else. (And of course ***** about something else)
2007-02-12 03:26:36 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she sure has alot of unattractive nose hairs, you have a good view of it..an advantage of being short.... and she should really do something about that.
2007-02-07 23:56:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She gets a reaction therefore she continues. Try ignoring her!
2007-02-11 17:33:24 · answer #9 · answered by #1 saints fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What can you do? Start treating her like she has bipolar disorder and make your own comments like "Uh oh, she's going manic again!"
2007-02-07 22:28:37 · answer #10 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋