we have been dating for 5 yrs...he is living in a diff country,i feel like he is fallin out of love,he calls me everyday but there is no love..i keep tellin myself its ok if he doesnt tell me he loves me or he misses me,im happy that he calls me...
i see no future..i dont think he will marry me,i know i have to let him go...i juz dont know how to...if he doesnt call me for a day i get so freaked and snd him msg asking him what happend..
i need to get control on myself and stop thinkin about him..i dont know how...
2007-02-07 20:48:42 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hmmm difficult one. If he is in another country of coarse he is falling out of love. You need to accept the truth. If you feel it, it's real. I know it will be hard but you need to stop communicating with him, that's the only way.
Hang out with your friends and stop letting him make the decision for your future. Take control, it's much sexier too. When he sees you don't care anymore and arn't trying to contact himhe will come cralling back. Then your in control. How it should be!!
Think about it, it's like fishing. The fun it catching the fish, once you have it in the bucket the excitements gone. What I'm trying to say is let him chase you. You sound like you deserve alot more
2007-02-07 20:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babygal, whether he calls every minute or not.. but if its obvious that he has fallen out of love then surely clinging on will only bring u pain...pain...& more pain....So, dont be a coward, just let it go... the pain of letting go will be there for a short while.. but the pain of clingng on will be for as long as u will.. and in the process u are delaying yourself the process where by u should have healed and got on with ur life and finding someone new... Why should u allow a man to use u...u are actually potraiying a picture that tells him u are cheap and he can do with u as he pleases.. Dont cheapen urself dear..
2007-02-07 21:18:48 · answer #2 · answered by butty-real-tiuos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so sorry sweetie, that stinks. you can see where this is going but you cant stop. i would go to my doctor and get on an anti-depressant really quick. (I wish i had) a broken heart takes time, some a lot longer than others but the pain is real. don't let it consume you. get help as soon as possible. even if you stay together, lets hope, you need to get control. i would not tell him or anyone else that you are on medication or seeking counseling. people can be so judgmental. just talk to a professional. its not good to be so freaked if you don't talk, that could be driving him away also. men like a confident secure woman. you want that for yourself also, right? good luck.
2007-02-07 21:04:31 · answer #3 · answered by Kim C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is ill effect of the western culture of sex and friendship before marriage which lacks committment unlike marriage and sex where first committment takes place stating that both will stay married even after facing both known and unknown hurdles in life. Since they are not lovers at all before marriage they start loving each other and this love increases day by day on the other hand people who love enjoy life without any resonsiblities imagine thats how its going to be after marriage also and while realising that its not true their love slows starts decreasing leading to divorce since no committement has been made. Similarly friendship without committment is naturally getting diluted since he might have found somebody more suitable and simply he is switching the partner. The best thing now for you would be to leave him find another good person and get married to him first and then live with him. All the best.
2007-02-07 20:58:10 · answer #4 · answered by ssmindia 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think i have been in your spot before. That is a lot of years, but hey, my sister dated this guy for about 8 years and nothing happened. Sure, she suffered, but listen you get over these kinds of things whether you want to believe or not. TRUST me on this one. Also, I am a guy and I know what its like to have a GF who calls you constantly, and I must admit it gets annoying after a while. I guess since you live so far away 1 call a day is not bad, but let him call you. If he days go by and he doesn't call you then maybe sommething is up. Like I said though, worse comes to worse, let it go, you DONT want to be miserable for the rest of your life. Good luck!
2007-02-07 20:53:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems obvious that this relationship has reached a deadend since he does live in a different country. I would just talk to him and tell him how you feel. He may be withholding the same feelings from you as to not hurt your feelings. The best way to overcome this is to maintain the friendship, but try to find a new mate that will treat you in a way that you would better appreciate. That way you could have a fuller and meaningful relationship. There are many ways and places to meet new friends.
2007-02-07 20:59:18 · answer #6 · answered by gone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him about it. Tell him how u r feeling and see what he says. It may be that he is feeling the same way or that you are completely wrong about the situation. Men communicate differently than we do. They have a tendancy not to realize that the little things they do mean the most to us. The little, I love u, at the end of a conversation tells us alot and i dont think they understand it like we do.
Just talk to him. Dont give up on it, just because u think hes lost interest etc.
That may not be the case.
Good luck.
2007-02-07 20:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why dont you find another man with a good sex drive willing to please you in every way girl...You deserve nothing less than lotsa hapiness and lotsa sex. U only live once don't allow anyone to make u feel guilty. Go out and celebrate life, just be careful. Who cares. The guy I've been sleeping with the past month is great but Im not sure if I want to marry him but he's a sweetheart and I love him :)
2007-02-07 20:54:21 · answer #8 · answered by Ashy B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow sorry to hear that. you are right it's time to get control. the best way to do that is get some counseling, don't freak just listen. when we are in a situation where our feelings are off the charts then its a good time to go to someone who is willing to listen and not judge us. they can help us sort through the feelings and give us ways to help us let go. they are good to help us get the control we need over ourselves. so good luck and i hope all goes well for you.
2007-02-07 20:55:53 · answer #9 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first bf?
five years is a lot of time. really. its time for you to move on. especially if you haven't made a plan much less a goal for marriage you are just kind of wasting your life with this guy.
internationals are the toughest relations, so get over it. move on. really. its OK and he will be OK.
find another guy that loves the attention you have to give.
2007-02-07 20:55:34 · answer #10 · answered by jorluke 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋