i am so madly in love with my guy (someone i date) but he says he is not ready for a realationship until he gets out of the military.but the problem is he tells me he love me and we do everything that a couple does.we been dating only each other for 9 months now with no one in between.he is oversea right now so should i just wait to see what he will be ready for when he gets home or just move on?he tells me if its meant to be it will be..wth does that mean?but he also tells me if and when he want something serious it will be me.im so confused cuz he is all i want.some one please help me to try to understand
2007-02-07 20:48:30 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would go with my instinct with this and I think it would be telling me that this guy is worth hanging on to. He is being careful with you because he knows that, being in the military, nothing is certain and he is very aware of his situation. Guys in the military are not like other people - he is living every day in a dangerous situation. I think you should respect and - yes, love him all the more - for the fact that he is being cautious. It is a good sign for the future - this is a reliable, responsible man who will never knowingkly expose you to hurt.
Tell him you love him and get on with your life! He is yours.
2007-02-07 20:59:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be saying he doesn't want to get serious because he knows by the time he gets back you might have moved onto another guy. It happens a lot with overseas assignments. Maybe he doesn't want to get serious until he's certain both of you can make the commitment. When my dad went into the military my mom said she wasn't waiting around for him. Luckily for me, mom hadn't moved on by the time dad came back and they picked up where they left off. They are still married 35 years later. You have to decide if this guy is worth waiting for. Keep in mind that there could be major changes in both of your lives before he gets back and maybe your story won't be the same as my parents'. You may not be able to pick up where you left off.
2007-02-08 05:00:52 · answer #2 · answered by Laoshu Laoshi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not serious about you, and he won't be as long as you are so available to him. Tell him that you understand that he won't be ready for a relationship until he is out of the military, and that perhaps you will pick things up then, but in the meantime, since he is not ready for a relationship, you will date other people. He can't have it both ways.
2007-02-08 04:55:32 · answer #3 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my suggustion is to wait until he comes home. He might be scared about not coming home or coming home injured and such. He might also be waiting to see how you react to him being gone for so long and testing weather or not you will stay true. Another possibility is that he could be jerking you around and that would suck but there isn't alot you can do about it now. I don't know his motives but I am positive that you need to wait till he comes back, not for his benefit but for your own. If you send him a letter or tell him on the phone and the unthinkable does happen you will blame yourself and you don't need that. Trust your heart and trust your man. Thats all you can do.
2007-02-08 04:59:32 · answer #4 · answered by faern2877 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's really not ready for a relationship. Given the situation, I don't blame him a bit. In your shoes, I'd keep my options open. It sounds like he's given you the latitude to date others and you should. If he comes back and the two of you pick up where you left off, then there's no big deal.
2007-02-08 04:55:49 · answer #5 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he's being pretty up front with you, but i'm sure it's hard for you to understand since you have such strong feelings for him. he's letting you know that while he's in the military, he doesn't want to be serious, but it sounds like he wants to keep you around when he's on leave.
if he's not saying that he wants to be with you NOW, you're best bet would be to move on and find someone who wants to build a relationship with you in the present. if that dude really wants you, he'll come for you when he's done with the military...maybe you'll be there and maybe you won't.
2007-02-08 05:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by obliviona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear it's hard in the life to find real person want a serious relationship, and as i see u both love each other, so wait for him until u both ready, show him how much u love him when u wait..
my b.f is not ready but i know i can't find other one love me as he loves me so i wait until he is ready, i be happy inside when he thinking serious on me... because as u know hard to find these days true love.. wait and good luck
2007-02-08 05:01:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to keep dating without deciding where it's going. He says he is not ready for a relationship but he means he is not ready for marriage. "If it's meant to be, it will be" means if we keep dating and it turns to marriage, fine. If it doesn't turn to marriage, fine. Guys are not usually dating with a goal of getting married.
2007-02-08 05:03:06 · answer #8 · answered by jax0817 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think I would wait. I think you should have other 'friends' to go out with, but nothing serious. Not until he makes up his mind.
2007-02-08 05:02:52 · answer #9 · answered by Huguenot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep waiting if you really Love him you will wait for him. You can keep in contact by writing letters. As long as you know you Love each other he will be worth waiting for.
2007-02-08 04:57:02 · answer #10 · answered by catsclaw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋