Help.. I really need some good female advice!?

Question

I've finally met the love of my life, and am so happy. The only problem is, i've lied about something really stupid and I need a way to tell him without loosing him, and because I am so worried about telling him I keep pushing him away because I think he will walk away from me if he knows the truth. He is getting annoyed with me now, and I am finding it difficult to sleep, and all I think about is telling him, stupid I know!! What do you think I should do girls?? serious advice only please!! xxxx

I have an awkward family situation, and I haven't been completely honest about it from the start, I usually am a very honest person, but I just felt if I lied about it, it would make the situation better, and now I am really regreting it because its come to the point where I actually cant see my life without him, and I, in a way, think it will be better if I just push him away before I have to admit to him that I have lied. thanks for all the great advice that everyone has given. I just don't know who to talk to about it because I know my friends would be dissapointed in me if they knew. x

Counterculturalist - thank you for that excellent advice! i know i have to tell him, and think the sooner the better because he's wondering why im being so distant ! thanks again! xxx

Answer 1

Hi, I think you are a nice girl, which explains the reason why you cannot continue lying to him anymore. See, there's no way out other than to tell him. The question for you now is how to approach this issue. Let's see: Tell him to come over your place and say that you're cooking dinner that night. Right, then, after the dinner, talk about your relationship in a light manner: as in, the first time you met, what you thought of him then and now, has your love for him deepened, get his views on your relationship with him, ask him hypothetically what happened if you lie about something serious/major - will he walk away, he will ask you what the matter is all about. Then, you spill it. Do it, you will feel relieved. Spill it because you know you can't live with the lie inside you. Tell him, you are sorry and tell him how this guilt has been gnawing at you. Tell him. And see how he responds. This is as serious advice as it can get. You have to find the right time (soon) to tell him. Tell him you love him and understand it if he feels betrayed. Tell him that you can't imagine losing him and yet at the same time, you can't live with the lie. All the best, honey... Please post follow up and let us know if you are okay.

Answer 2

You are trying to hard, keep it simple. Give her a call and ask her if she is free over the weekend, dont assume she will be. Then ask her if she fancies going for a meal or a drink. If no then dont worry, she may have already made plans. Just say we'll do it another day then. If she says yes then bonus. Go for your meal/drink and just chat... likes/dislikes/music/movies. Keep it casual, no pressures. If the topic turns more personal then tell her that you are insecure but you are slowly working through your issues and trying to make a fresh start. Thats the main problem with lads...they never express their feelings and us girls aint mind readers. Dont profess your undying love to her as she might be insecure herself, feeling rejected and hurt from when you split before. Anyway if everythin goes ok ask her if you can ring her next week and let her decide what day you should call. It'll take some of the pressure off you as to when and how often you should call. Good luck :P

Answer 3

u really should tell him the truth cuz I guess the girl he is in love with now is not u.. it's the girl that u made up for him... u can't go on like this honey and u know it.. it's better to lose a guy in an honest way than he breaks up with u cuz u lied.. tell him u really want to be honest with him .. and u love him and that;'s why u lied cuz u wanted to things work out.. but don't put alot of pressure on him either let him have some break for a while and think... then things would be better ..

Answer 4

That's a tricky one. But, if you love him, then you have to tell him the truth. If it's something silly, he won't care. Just sit him down, Tell him what happened, say that you are sorry and why you lied in the first place. If he loves you he will forgive and forget.
Don't let a silly thing ruin your relationship, you have to be open with him and talk it out. And don't do it again. Never give him a reason to doubt you, Trust is very important.

Thinking of you.

Answer 5

Well, tell him. If he realy loves you he will understand.

I lied to my bf once aswell. Before we were togeter i told him i was pregnant and lost the baby (the reason i did that is a very long and boring story) So we got togerther and do have a child of our own. It took me two years to tell him i lied and when i finally did tell him he told me he knew about it. Not all men are stupid (just some). Well he did forgive me and he did understand why i lied and why i only told him two yrs later.

Trust your man to trust you. Tell him... If you don't have trust and honesty in a relationship, then i think the relationship is doomed

Answer 6

Any relationship is a big pile of lots of things ---trust, integrity, diignity, respect and COMMUNICATIONS---nothing wrong with sitting down at an appropriate time to tell your mate that you made a booboo and would like to clear the air. If he cares--he will listen and be understanding--and thankful for the honesty. If you don't and he finds out later--the outcome might be disasterous. So do it nicely and get over it--if he leaves--too bad--he wasn't as nice as you thought. This is all a maturity thing--and holding back is as immature as overreacting to whatever it is you did. Good luck. Stand tall, be proud and smile.

Answer 7

Well, women are allowed to lie about their age! It IS that, isn't it? I doubt if he will bother too much. Don't let this get out of control - bite the bullet and just tell him and wait for the response. Don't try to justify yourself or make excuses - just listen to his reaction before you say anything. Good luck!


Edit: You are still avoiding the situation by not admitting the lie to us, a mere several hundred thousand people worldwide! Seriously, why don't you practise on us? Just say it! Hear yourself saying it! practise it in the bath - it works! I know because I have just such a situation to face myself. The relief when you get it off your chest is immense.

Answer 8

If the lie is stupid and there is no way of him finding out, then leave it.

If you admit to lying over a stupid matter, he will not believe anything you say from that point on. Because in serious situations, in his mind, you will be likely to lie.

forget about your conscience this time. sleep well knowing that you have your man!

Answer 9

Please tell him yes it might be the beginning off the end but allow him to make the choice, don't do it for him that's not fair,it could also be the beginning of your wonderful future based on the truth I really wish you the best of luck If he really loves you he will forgive you cause that's what its all about. Lies and liars are not attractive Take care.

Answer 10

The only person you really need to talk to is him. Explain that because it was such an awkward situation you didnt know how he would take the truth and that you have hated yourself for lying, tell him, regardless of what his reaction is you need to tell him the truth and will understand if he gets angry etc...

Hopefully he will realise that you are truly sorry for lying to him and will forgive you,

Good Luck!