Haven't you ever just wanted 2 die? and no i'm not f***kin with ya....nor am i emo either...just very suicidal

Question

My life is falling apart, my daughter is better off without me, so are my other children, and I sit here with blade in hand, and ask myself, what the hell is it all about?

Answer 1

Hi
I woke up at half twelve last night and couldnt get back to sleep- so i came and sat on the computer for around 5 hours, answering people's questions here and feeling so crappy i seriously considered doing something to end the pain. I felt lik I'm worth nothing to no-one; no-one cares about me, no-one wants to know what i think, what i feel, what I'm worth to them. i sat here, feeling so sorry for myself- i even had a packet of pills in my hand.... then i pinched my arm, on the inside of the elbow.... and it hurt. and i thought about everything in my life that's worth living for- I'm travelling to India tomorrow morning- i'm going to visit an orphanage and a women's shelter out there and talk to the children about life in cold england... I have a wonderful partner who loves me and would do mstly anything for me; he puts up with a lot of c**p from me, tantrums and mood swings, screaming, shouting and all sorts- yet he's still there at the end of the day for me, to give me a huggles and kiss away my tears. I have an adorable two-year old niece, wh is impossiby cute and sweet. every day she does something that makes me smile. the thought of never seeing her gorgeous eyes light up as they see my partner and i walk in the room is unbearable.
My family is 400 miles away from me, and i miss them every second; yet being so far from them has helped me grow up a lot and realise lot about myself and the person i want to be.
i think you need to talk to your daughter- i wouldnt tell her you're thinking of taking your life, that scares people; but tell her you're feling depressed and very upset, and ak if you can arrange one-to-one time with her; like a shopping trip or a chick flick with a hot chocolate. something to take ur mind of anything that might make yoou feel sad. You're wrong about your children being better off withoutyou; they need you- all children need their mum and dad. i dont think it's fair or right that you should get to decided that for them. please talk to them befre you do anything.
and remember there's alwys someone on here thats willing to talk. it's never too late
i hope u feel better and this helps
your friend
charli
xx

Answer 2

Do this and you give your children permission to do the same thing when things aren't going their way. Whatever is wrong with your life, find a way to get some help. Do you really think your children want you dead? I felt like this once, but I remembered there were people who depended on me. Your children depend on you to be strong and find a way out of this depression. Try to get some therapy. You may need medication to control a hormonal imbalance. Zoloft helped me until I found something good in my life and I was able to get off it. I am depression free now. If you think you have been a bad mom, it is up to you to change that. Not everyone is born knowing how to be a parent. There are books, magazines, and even classes that can give you advice on how to be a better mom. Don't give up. It is the worst thing you can do to your children.

Answer 3

I don't want to die at all but strangely enough I have visions of death almost every day. It's out there constantly, side by side with life and a part of nature. I have seen soldiers getting their throats slashed and drowning in their own blood and often when handling a knife and it is at less than a foot from my own throat i can't avoid but thinking how close to death we all are. Hope I am not freaking people out now :)

Answer 4

Would you want your children to kill themselves? Kids who have had a parent kill themselves have an even harder time fighting the urge to commit suicide when depressed, 'I mean why not Mom did it'...

Your children love YOU, no matter how hard things are in your life, what they really want and need is you. You are 50% of what makes them who they are genetically, and maybe much more than that personality wise.

As Moms we have to be stronger than anyone else in the lives of our children. Sometimes being strong means being knowing when to say we need help. Reaching out to us, says that you know you need someone to hear you. Call the hospital or 911. There are people close to you who can be there for you too.

We care too!

Answer 5

Yes I've felt that way!!! I was an abused child,and they found me bleeding in the school restroom.I didn't feel loved,needed,or that anyone would miss me.But I'm so glad my life was saved! I was taken out of that situation,and showed that I am worth wile,I can do useful things,AND some people do care about me!!! How can your daughter be better off without YOU????? If she is a teenager,and maybe said or did something to make you feel that way-that is just being a teenager! Their at a difficult time in their life,and sometimes they take it out on the people that care about them."Taking the easy way out" only makes life harder on the people who love you.PLEASE do something nice for yourself/beleive in you.Do things (like listen to music,go for a walk,volunteer)to help you feel better about you=for your daughter,and you!!! Good Luck.

Answer 6

Your children will not be better off without you. Whatever is going on, your children need to have you around! You need to get some help for your problems so that you can be there for your kids.

Answer 7

it just feels so easy isnt it? to end a life? i always wondered as the train came faster n if u just step forward n be hit by the train, wudnt that be sumthg? really. dat feeling get even stronger after a hard day and have to wait for that damn train with lots of peole. err.. wat im trying to say is everyone or at least most of us feel dat way but that doesnt mean dat we hv to give in to the problems that we have. no matter how big the problem is, we must face it. i believe in god and having that faith keeps me strong. i hope that u do too. dont do nethg foolish k. take care

Answer 8

You are wrong it may not look like it but i can promise you ALL your children needs you, am 19 years old and needs my mommy every single day of my life and so does my sis and she is 22. you think you leaving them like that is gonna make there life great they will forever wonder know why, why did she do it was it our fault what did we do wrong. life can be hard and you may think it can be the only way out. talk to someone who understand you and will not judge you. you can mail me and we can chat i know it is not easy being a mom i have a girl of 1years and i cannot picture to leave her. Good Luck
[e-mail]

Answer 9

Your children need you.

You were put on this earth for a reason.

Keep going hunny,

When you have a bad day, try and do something good for YOU. You deserve it. Go for a run down to the beach, eat chocolate!, make friends.

I believe in you.

Answer 10

No situation in life, either bad or good, lasts forever. If you kill yourself you are taking a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Now, you might not succeed in killing yourself, but you could paralyze yourself or cause constant pain for yourself for the duration of your life.

If you do manage to kill yourself, you will cause constant pain for others for the duration of their lives. Please, please don't do this to yourself. There are other answers to your problems. Your kids need you, and they need you whole and healthy and emotionally available. Go to the phone right now and call the suicide hotline and they can help you.