Ok..
Me and my bf have been together 2 years now. I love him so much. I am 19..he is 24...
He is my first love and all that...
Throughout the relationship we have fought ALOT..over nothing....but I hate it.
I have tried and tried to talk to him..he wont listen, and I have threatened to break up with him so many times that...it doesnt scare him anymore.
He is gonna go to jail in 2 weeks for awhile, and I figured he'd smarten up adn treat me good and pay attention to me before then..but he still acts dumb...I always get sucked in cause he will have really cute episodes....and be the cutest guy on earth.
Tongith w got in a fight..and he keeps getting his mom involved in our fights and shes always on his side...cause she doesnt know that its all me....I need help..right now its 3am...I have all my clothes packed and wanna leave...please give me long mature answers!! THANX!!
2007-02-07 19:10:54 · 13 answers · asked by Red_lipstick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's doing time in jail. You fight constantly. Do you see you guys getting married sometime in the future? If you do, do you see it lasting? If it does last, will you be happy? If you don't see you getting married, why are you wasting your time with him? Answer those questions and then make your decision based on your answers.
2007-02-07 19:15:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not very mature to threaten to break up all the time when you are in a relationship. Do not use that as a threat and hold your relationship to ransom. The implication is there for you to see, he's not treating you seriously and he very well knows that he could buy you with his cute episodes. He's going to jail for...? How could he go to jail in 2 weeks' time? Has he been sentenced? Anyway, walk out if need be and don't look back. It doesn't matter how long you've been together. 2 years are not that long. Walk away if you must but don't look back. What's the point of staying on when he makes you feel unappreciated? You deserve so much more.
2007-02-07 19:20:06 · answer #2 · answered by counterculturalist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this same thing when I was 19 with my first love. His phone calls from jail cost me $300 but that is beside the point. I'm 27 now and let me tell you: FIRST LOVES ARE ABOUT LEARNING (what you want and do not want in a relationship) NOT ABOUT STAYING UNHAPPILY TOGETHER FOREVER. There must be something about first loves that makes people feel like they are your soul mate. They most often are not. There is more to love than 'cute episodes'. It's a tough lesson to learn though(i've been through it many many times.) He will not get any smarter for years (yes it takes years). Do you really want to wait around and cry and fight constantly. (I've got a freaking wrinkle from all of the stress!! Damnit!) Keep in mind there are cute, sweet, funny, wonderful guys out there that are lonely. I am now engaged to one of them and I am so truly happy (and his mother loves me!) Your clothes are packed for a reason. Leave girl and stay gone.
2007-02-07 19:31:36 · answer #3 · answered by Lexi Lexington 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl get out. Any man who puts you through that, is NOT worth a few "cute" episodes. He's not. Take a long look at it. He's 5 years older than you, and he's going to jail. This is your first love. You deserve better. You're so young, and I hate to see you go through what I, and many other girls your age have.
Something I learned the hard way is, you're alot healthier, if you surround yourself with good, healthy people. Not ones who go to jail, stir up drama, and get their mother's involved. Girl, get the hell out of there. Go home. Start over.
Do it now, before it's too late
Best of luck
2007-02-07 19:43:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone's first serious relationship becomes their personal definition of 'love'. For most of us, this relationship violently combusts for reasons that we never could have forseen. After it combusts, you get upset and you drag your heels around for a couple of weeks. Then you get your act back together. And then eventually, you meet someone else who is really, really special. And one day you think about this really, really special person and you'll say to yourself 'oh, so THIS is what love is'.
That's the thing about love. It's not something you can look up in a dictionary. It's defined by experience. Until the real experience occurs, a lot of other things seem like they might fit the mold.
You're young. Your boyfriend is going to jail. You constantly get in fights. He doesn't listen to you. Dear, you are due for a better definition of love. You need to leave. You need a chance to explore your interests free of anyone else's b.s. So leave and be ready to fend for yourself. Don't let this person get involved in your life again.
2007-02-07 19:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by lucky guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave this relationship. Right now it seems unhealthy and instead of threatening him with you leaving him, do it. Show him you are serious. Let him know you love him, you still care about him, but that you just cant deal wit his b/s anymore. If he loves you he will go way beyond a lame apology and really go after you to win you back in his life. If he makes an effort, I mean a really huge effort to try and get you back then maybe the future could allow that, but right now your situation seems really horrible for the 2 of you....esp. if jail is coming in 2weeks. I suggest you leave, and see how he reacts.
2007-02-07 19:21:34 · answer #6 · answered by tasty little crackers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should pack up and leave. I mean do you really want to stay with him and his mom? If she choses his side all the time and won't even listen to your arguments and points then she just sounds like a straight up b*i*t*c*h. Besides when you moved out of your parent's house did you really just want to move back in with someone else's parents? If he doesn't have any kids and he's 24 and still lives at home and has to drag his "mommy" into everything he sounds like a total loser. If he were smart he would kiss your *** so you would wait on him to get out. But he is selfish. Get your s*h*i*t and go
2007-02-07 19:17:16 · answer #7 · answered by ProudToBeWhite 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LovE is patience and love is kind. Love is about trust and faith.Fighting or quarrelling is controlled by you! If you really love him, you really had the power to control the fight or arguement. I'm 18 and my bf is 24. we had being tog for 1 year +.. We used to quarrel But after few months, we really love each other. I controlled my jealousy, my anger, my temper. He controlled his jealousy and quit smoking for me.
If u really love him, stay by his side.. Mother will always help her children. U should be a good gf. care for him, worry for him, be gentle to him, don't quarrel, hold back your temper, Love him more than anything else. Using break up to threaten him is not a good act. If you can so easily say break up, then you'll say divorce easily. which guy will want to marry/be with this type of girls?? break up cannot be said out easily. Guys don't understand girls. you can tell him what you want or what you want him to do. If he still didn't act, by that time, u can end ur r/s.
leaving or stay, is your choice. follow your heart. let your heart decide. think carefully before u act if not you'll regret forever somemore he is your 1st love and all that... no one can decide your happiness for you.. decide it yourself.. =)
2007-02-07 19:25:23 · answer #8 · answered by babe_fox 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave! This guy is not mature. Your age should of been the first warning. This guy is not a man mentally yet. Just move on. Anyone that is going to jail needs to be on his own. You're just confused because he was your first, you need to move on.
2007-02-07 19:16:34 · answer #9 · answered by yaabro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like to me, you need to leave. He obviously isn't taking you seriously. If he really does love you, he will come after you. If he doesn't, then you are better off without him. If you are fighting a lot, then it isn't a good relationship. Do what feels like the right thing to do. Good luck, take care.
2007-02-07 19:18:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋