how can i get my 21 month old son to share?

Question

if I asked him to share more so with thomas sometimes he gets really cross and throws things, and he keeps saying mine

Answer 1

ha ha to joe :) if only that simple!

its their age... they are born with an innate sense of wanting to learn, so its up to us to share our knowledge and teach them society's 'rules', with a dollop of how things are done in your family.
whenever he does offer you or another adult/child ANYTHING, a sweet, a book, a toy, an e,pty wrapper even, say Thank you in a positive way with a big smile. that will show him that when he gives things to others that he gets a nice response..always try to reward with praise! then demonstrate sharing by doing to so in front of him with your hubby/mum/friend/siblings... even if its 'staged' it will be showing him that people are happy when they share etc. its going to take a while as its his age etc, but the earlier you start, the sooner they pick up on what's going on. my youngest is 27 months and sometimes shares beautifully, sometimes its "mine!!!" when she says MINE, we correct her if it isnt actually hers!, and if it is we say 'yes we know, isnt it nice, its your turn now but then its 'X's' turn in 5 minutes' or similar. they soon learn the 'key' words in each sentence. it'll take time patience and smiles, but you and he will get there!!!
good luck and have fun. at least you're not at the surly teen stage yet!!!!

Answer 2

Developmentally toddlers do not get the idea of sharing-they see the world a little different than we do. Children at this age engage in parrell play-they can play near other kids, maybe even both playing the same thing (both cooking) but they aren't playing together yet. As they grow and developt hey learn to play together and that means getting a feeling for another person's feelings/thoughts so for example, one can be the cook and one can go to the store. It involves teamwork that toddlers just can't do yet. Since they are playing similar things near each other it is easy for them to want the same toys and feel they can't share-how can they if they need the toy too. Don't focus on sharing just yet. Approach it as who had this first and taking turns. Sharing will come with age and so will more elaborate playtime games.

Answer 3

You never said what you're doing for discipline. This an important piece of info missing from your rant! I mean you told him no and brought him outside. I know discipline at the party would be silly... But what do you to usually? Some acting up is expected with a new sibling. I would just make sure he feels like he has enough attention. Also try rewarding good behavior and ignoring bad as much as you can. It is also a good idea to let him burn some energy?

Answer 4

Keep on telling him to share. If he does not share and there is a fight for the toy take the toy a way. There will be tears if that has to happen but some times that is the only way to get some children to share.

Answer 5

Usually toddler at that age do not normally share his/her toy, especially he/she is the only child. This is a phase of growing up. However, what I did with my son was to practice POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. Meaning I'll only reward and encourage when he shared and ignore when he didn't. It took some practice before he learned. However all the family members and care givers must also practice positive reinforcement. Otherwise the toddler may get mixed or confusing feedback.

Answer 6

This is normal for this age as he is progressing into the terrible twos. We tried alot of things with our daughters. What ended up working for us was role playing. We sat the girls down and we pretended we were them. We showed them how nice it was to share and not through fits. We did this for a couple of weeks and now its not really an issue. They do have a few playmates that we have to put certain toys/items away during their visit, due to past incidents with favorite toys being shared and ending up broken. If he has that one favorite toy don't push for him to share it, but put it away during play dates. You wouldn't trust somebody with your favorite diamonds would you? Be patient, the terrible twos are coming follwed by the trying threes. Also, try the 1.2.3 books. They are very helpful in so many situations. I wish somebody would have told me about them sooner.

Answer 7

Do some sharing time with your son. Have him take turns with you saying "mommy's turn" and "Thomas' turn" while playing with a toy or sharing a food item. Sharing and turn taking go hand in hand and starting with turn taking helps him to understand sharing. Good luck.

Answer 8

my 25 month old is still doing that and he is a boy too, all the girls seem better. Try giving the other child an even better toy and all your attention, but if he throws things remove him from the room completely, so he sees it doesn't get him anywhere.

Answer 9

you can only keep telling him how important sharing is you can't force him to do so though. it's frustrating but this an actual stage they go through until he's finished with this stage he will not understand why he must share but if you keep telling him when he does come out of this stage he will immediately understand what you mean until then hold on

Answer 10

I taught my 3 year old to share with my 1 year old by not letting him play with any toys if he wont play with his brother. I didn't shout if he didn't share I just sat him by himself and when he wanted to play he would come and share. He knows that it is important to share now and when he has sweets he offers everyone around him one before he eats.