re a broken heart?

Question

Can a broken heart ever be mrnded? i have a lovely wife and 2 kids but due to whats all happened all through my life too much to explain, read my proftle theres a bit about me their. i pull myself up but i alwayd have that broken heart feeling inside me even when i tell jokes etc to other payients and the nurses at the renal unit i attend for dialysis, i rarely tell people how i feel. my young niece 16 alsp my god daughter was murdered and through ill hyealth i never saw hwe cefore the life support was turned off nor did i get to her funeral. being tied to a dialtsis machine is makong my life upsetting as ny mother is very ill up in scotland and i cannot leave and go to her like i use to, i worry terrible that god forbid she dies and i wont be able to be at her funeral and make sure that the things she asked me to do for her should she fie, i am the only one that knows her full wishes and cincerns.

Just to let u guys know, I wrote this question in the early hours in pitch black as my wife was asleep next to me, also i have disabilities hence poor grammar etc.

Answer 1

Hi there
i am so sorry i dont know your name but i am sure i may be able to help you or at the very least try to! my name is julie i had five kids, my second born billie-jade was also murdered and who ever said time heals really dos,nt know what they are talking about! my eldest son was 12 years old at the time and will never forgive me for not allowing him to see his sister when on life support! but had i gone ahead imagine the picture he would now be left with ? instead all he remembers is the happy little girl he always knew, since then i have had another three children 2 boys and a girl who live with thier dad due to me not being able to cope for a year or so after jades death!
i now live alone i too have problems with my kidneys and also suffer rsd which prevents me from using the whole of my right hand side!
please dont worry that you never got to see your goddaughter and you must remember that by the time they have been put onto life support thier soul has already departed but i feel sure she would,nt want you to be feeling as if your heart has broken? she would want you to be the happy person she probably always knew?
trust me time dos,nt heal but there is light at the end of that horrible dark tunnel! have you spoken to your gp about the way you are feeling? i did and he put me on an anti-depressant which i must say has done the job to an extent! i am still a very lonely person with not one ounce of self esteem.
I also lost both parents within two years and my family where rather well off however all they had went to one sister not split between the three sisters as it should have been! my dad in life was the best friend i ever had but he saw fit to leave everything he and mum ever owned to my younger sister who is an alcoholic and is simply drinking thier hard earned money away. following my dads funeral (he died after my mum) the younger sister refused me and my older sister to enter the home we were all brought up in therefore we have no idea where all my parents belongings went to but she made sure we did,nt get any, not even so much as a photograph of my mum and dad? how anyone can be so evil i will never know? i do know alot of the money has been spent on her many different boyfriends buying one (who is married with 6 kids) a baby jaguar? my oldest son Dean split with his partner of 10 years in march of last year and ended up sleeping on a friends floor therefore unable to have his two beautiful little girls, he could have moved in to my dads house and been able to have his girls at weekends but instead the house was rented out to someone she dos,nt know and has had no rent for 6 months! but she now finds she cannot get them out! so having all that money has really brought her nothing but problems! i now thank god it was,nt all left to me infact if it had been i would have made sure it got split three ways regardless of any last wishes! please get back to me if i can be of any help to you and always do as i do, i always think there is someone out there in a far worse situation than i am, i would love to hear from you and you must let me know if there is anything i can do for you? anything at all and i will do my ver best, so until i hear from you take good care of yourself
lots of love and prayers juliexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 2

I don't actually know how to answer you.
However, if you say whether a broken heart ever be mended, I will say "yes" partially.
Times really can heal if you allow it.
My lowest time in life was when I break up with my-ex of 13years and it pain me everytime I think of her.
And it stop that day my daughter came to this world, suddenly nothing important anymore except the well being of my daughter.

I'm the eldest in the family and taking care of my sibling fall on my shouder when I was very young.
My sister run away from home since young and my mum refuse to reconcile with her.
She is not living very well and I help her financially little bit during those time.
Much to I want her to live with us again but due to my financial status I can't do that and it has been 4 years since we last communicated.
I still do feel regret til this days that this is what I can't accomplish for her as a brother.

So "yes" I can mend the broken by divert my attention to those around me but "no" I still feel the pain in my heart when I'm alone at the thought of my sister slip in.

Answer 3

Wow! Your story is touching, and it made me go read your profile. I'm so sorry for your loss and your declining health.

As for mending a broken heart.....I can only say that old cliche, "time heals all wounds."

The heartache isn't as bad as time passes and hopefully you can get to a point in your life where you can smile more with the memories you have than shedding tears. Please don't ever feel guilt for not being able to see your niece one last time before she passed away. You could not be there due to medical reasons. I'm sure if she was able to communicate with you right now, she'd let you know it was okay, and not to feel guilty.

I would hope that you can speak with your mother by phone and maybe arrange for her to write her wishes and concerns on paper if she doesn't want to draw up a Last Will and Testament with an attorney. Maybe also make it clear with another trusted friend or family member that she wants you to take care of these things for her.

I truly wish you well in all your trials and tribulations you have going on in your life. Sounds to me like you're one lucky man with the wife you have who loves you unconditionally. Hold onto that and let that be your guide to happiness.

Answer 4

Now then, we are all the walking wounded, some peoples troubles seem less to some than others but the whole thing about life is you only have to look around and you will always find someone worse off than yourself. If you could just try to look at all the wonderful things in your life , maybe the burden you carry with regard to your niece is too much for you on your own. Could you share it with someone to take the pressure off. Good luck and chin up.Have to end by saying you sound very depressed, maybe a visit to the doctor would help?

Answer 5

I think that you are an incredibly strong and brave man. My heart goes out to you and you wonderful wife and children. Make sure that your wife gets all of your mothers wishes down on paper so that if anything should happen you have a record. Make a few copies and have one sent to mom and have a notary and a witness sign the papers. This way no matter what, the deal is sealed and legal. I want to wish you all of my best wishes and heartfelt blessings. You have a wonderful wife and children that are there for you. God Bless.

Answer 6

I think it will be very difficult or even impossible for anyone of us to give you advice. We will never truly understand how difficult it must be to live in your shoes, though we might think we do.

So all I can say is that I admire anybody who copes with a situation like yours. Just make sure you don't feel guilty. There is nothing you can do about not being able to go to Scotland and everybody will be able to understand that. As you say, just make the most of your life in the best way possible. And I'm sure in time your broken heart will mend, the pain will go away & will make place for the pleasant, warm memories of the good times you all shared.

All the best! xxx

Answer 7

When That Happened To me Mostly I Just ignored Everybody and everything.. I Listened To music And wrote to Get My Feelings Somewhere Some Times My Friends Would Try To Talk To Me It Didnt Work i Needed To be Left Alone i got Over After A Few Weeks

Answer 8

It's sad to say that Kidney Disease is the new American epidemic that attacks over 40 million people ever year and over 200 million worldwide. 10 months ago my Doctor told Me these depressing words "Your Kidneys Are FAILING!". I didn't know what to do to heal my kidneys I was terribly worried about being chained to a dialysis machine for the rest of my life. Luckily I was able to almost completely reverse my problems thanks to some great doctors here in Chicago.

I also found many interesting and eyeopening info about my condition on this site http://kidneydisease.toptips.org. Check it out!
Bye

Answer 9

Bubbles i don`t think a broken heart really mends , my wonderful dad died 13 years ago and i am still suffering , i miss him so much , i am married and have 4 lovely daughters but i feel so empty without him , my life has no purpose , i get up everyday and do what is expected of me but deep down i am so sad and empty .. i rely on anti-depressants to get me through day to day .
I wish you well , you have a great support system ( wife and sons)

Take care x

Answer 10

It sounds to me like you could benefit from professional counseling. If for no other reason than to help you put things into perspective. I hope everything works out for you.

And yes, it is possible for a broken heart to be mended. It takes a lot of reflection and time - Also reasons I believe you would be a good candidate for counseling services.