I want a psychologist to come home and talk to my relative to find out his problem. can u suggest doc @b'lore?

Question

One of my close relative is keeping himeslf in isolation. He's an intravert from beginning. Used to respect elders, believe in God, was very responsible. But, now, has quit job and @ home from past 1 yr. Though he's good in experience and knowlednge, not ready to try to get a job. Though married recently, and married one he wanted to, not worried about responsibilities. Keeps watching TV, Sleeps a lot, eats well and reads story books. Not bothered how his behavior is affecting family. He dont admit that he has problem, not ready to consult any counsellor. Want some one who can come as a friend of mine and talk to him and get to know the reason why he has become totally irrespnosible. His parents are aged anad are really worried. His wife has not seen the good days after getting married.. He feels that someone is watching him or making him fail in everything. Suspects everyone that they're with the one who keep watching him.

Not daring to give medication. Want someone who can cousel

Answer 1

Patience. Do not push. Let him be to himself for this time. It will pass. Most important, do not rush him.
Heard the story of the Buddhist monastery?
The young monk went to the head.
In despair, he told the head: Your lordship, I wish to leave the monastery. On being asked why, he replied; "I have prayed and prayed, sacrificed my time, reached out again and again, but I have not been able to see, nor touch nor even experience GOD".
The head, with a relaxed quizzical expression replied; "This soon shall pass".
The confused young monk, went back to his meditation, intensified it considerably, and after several months shocked at his experience ran up to the head and in ecstasy said; "Your lordship. I have had the experience. I have seen the face of GOD; I have touched the heart of GOD; I have reached GOD".
The head, with the same relaxed quizzical expression replied; "This too shall pass".
So as I say. It is absolutely pointless judging others. Maybe your own family members, and coming to conclusions that have no meaning. Wait. Patience. "This too shall pass".

Answer 2

First, from what you say, people are "watching him" (and probably talking about him). Even if he has no mental health problem at all (other than maybe plain, old, unhappiness with something) if family members are talking about him, wondering what's wrong with him, and paying attention to what he's doing he is going to see family members as "ganging up" on him.

If, by any chance, he doesn't have any really serious mental health problem people will drive him to acting as if he does just by acting as if they suspect he has mental problems, talk about him, and "accuse" him of having mental problems.

To the best of my understanding, a professional would not come to your house and misrepresent him/herself as your friend.

When you say he "feels" that someone is making him fail everything there's a chance you are misinterpreting the meaning of what he has said (or else you're assuming what he feels even if he said nothing about). A person may "feel" as if life has made him fail without really believing that the was some conspiracy to make him fail. There are times when some people do have situations where others contribute to preventing them from doing as they wish they could to be successful.

Whether he behaves in a way that shows taking his responsibilities seriously or doesn't, it is not possible to tell that he doesn't worry about his responsibillities. Maybe he is just not able to do what he should at this time. Maybe, too, what someone else thinks he should do is not what he thinks he should do.

He could very well be depressed or have some other problem. He could even have a physical condition that is making him exhausted and affecting his moods. He may wish he could act differently but maybe he just is not able to (rather than "not bothered how his behavior is affecting his family").

It would seem to me if someone he trusts could talk to him and ask him to just go talk to a doctor about whether he's depressed or even physicall ill there may be a chance at some point he'll agree to get checked out. At this point, even if he's depressed he must feel he is entirely alone because he probably feels as if the very people he should be able to trust don't understand his situation and are talking about him behind his back.

Nobody will prescribe medication for him without seeing him in person. When you say, "not daring to give medication" I'm wondering what on Earth kind of medication you're even thinking about anyway. If you try to slip him anything that he doesn't know he's being given he could probably have you charged with assault.

I know it isn't an easy situation. He could have serious depression and need professional help. He could have something more serious than depression. He could have a physical illness that is affecting his mood or energy. At the same time, he could, for some reason, just be in a slump related to his marriage or working or job prospects; and there's the chance you're imagining up mental problems he just doesn't really have.

Its too bad someone can't have a normal conversation with him and ask him whether he feels he has a problem or whether his problem is something like disappointment with job prospects or his marriage or maybe even just doing what was responsible for so long he needs to do nothing for a while.

I know my answer is not a great one and won't be helpful. I just thought, though, it would offer some different perspective because I have seen how things can snowball when relatives start thinking someone has problems when they don't.

Chances are, too, if he does have mental health problems that are serious that will become more and more clear; and either he'll know to get himself some help or else you'll have something more substantial to offer a psychiatrist you may call other than what you offer at this point.

Is there any chance you're an older sibling, and you and his wife and his parents are all displeased with his actions and have exchanged a mix of input on what he does (which could include your views/opinions of what he SEEMS to be doing but not really facts as he would present them)?

Older siblings are often close to parents, want them to please, and think younger siblings should want to please the parents as well. They may "defend" the parents, try to do what they can to help their parents, and sometimes they are never quite over their childhood beliefs that their younger sibling doesn't quite measure up to them.

Answer 3

Dear Sudha,
I understand your problem. you have done the right thing to seek help through this site.You want to help this family but you are helpless because of the very nature of this disease.

In this disease, the person loses his rational thinking and believes in things that are not true.
No amount of counseling can help in such a situation. He needs treatment with medicines.

Even if If he is not ready to take any medicines, believe me there are other methods to treat such a person.

You have not mentioned his Age. Did he have similar episodes in the Past ?

I will be able to help you through our network.
Please feel free to contact 09833842784. you may call ANYTIME.
Best of Luck.

Answer 4

No i don't but i will tell you that you can have a therapist , or what ever , come to the house, cause there are people that will not leave their homes, so they will actually come to you house then they can talk to the person that you are trying to get help for.

Answer 5

Sai Ram. It is difficult to help a person who is not ready to accept help. I would suggest to his wife to take up Sri Sai Satcharitra Parayan. Let her give up any one food item of her liking till her desire is fulfilled. and let her take a vow that she will visit Shirdi along with her husband when things improve. Let her do this with faith and see the results. Sai Ram.

Answer 6

Only someone from your area could reccommend a doctor. I would say that he needs help, but how you get it for him I don't know.
good luck.

Answer 7

DIAL 197 FROM YOUR MTNL/BSNL PHONE OR CONTECT YOUR FAMILY DOCTOR - FIRST YOU DECIDE YOU WANT TO CONSULT DOCTOR FREE OF COST THEN YOU ARE ONLY BEST PSYCHOLOGIST FOR YOUR RELATIVE

Answer 8

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