I know this was something my ex-wife would get bent out of shape about. She would even go to the extent of saying she was going to the bathroom and then tracking down the waiter.
I manage a movie theatre and I see it all the time when the girl wants to pay and the guy all but shoves her out of the way. Sometimes it kind of funny to watch, but I usually think to myself that these guys need to learn a thing.
2007-02-07 17:03:51 · 19 answers · asked by Justin H 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
For Pinklove22: she wasn't my wife at the time - guess I should have added that.
I have always gone into any date with the expectation that I will pay and I believe that's the way it should be. But if I'm out with a woman and she says she WANTS to pay, I'm going to let her. Not because I'm being cheap, but because I have enough respect to listen to her. This wouldn't necessarily apply if she ASKED if I wanted her to pay.
Thanks for the insight ladies, it's been informative.
By the way, one of the other thing I observe at the theatre with teenage guys is that many of them won't even let the woman go first if they are going dutch - whether it's a date or just friends. I want to slap these guy upside their head.
2007-02-07 17:24:02 · update #1
OK, so if the guy wants to pay I will tell him no, but if he insist I will let him. I will not fight him to pay the bill or pay for what we are doing if he wants to. Right now very few of my guy friends will pay so it would be nice if they would every once in a while.
2007-02-07 17:09:39 · answer #1 · answered by plantuim35 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never gave a guy a hard time about it if he really wanted to pay. But I always offered to help. I wanted him to pay, but I didn't want to feel like I owed him something for it.
Now I know that I don't owe anyone anything like that EVER, no matter what!
My boyfriend is a complete gentlemen. And on the first date he let me know that when a woman is with him, she's not going to pay for anything. I hadn't realized I wanted that until I got it. It was like a weight had been lifted.
Only once in a while do I chip in now. Like maybe 1% of the time. And we're both comfortable with it. At the same time, I don't drag him around with me in order to get things paid for. I don't take advantage.
I think that's the main thing. Do what makes you comfortable. I don't think it's a Right/Wrong thing.
2007-02-08 01:15:38 · answer #2 · answered by mandybeach2004 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When I first start dating a guy, I always offer to pay my half. If he tells me no, then I let him pay. If he wants to pay, I'm not going to argue with him and make a scene.
I do let guys pay for me on dates if they offer. I don't believe this sets women back or anything; I'm very independent and have my own money. But, letting the guy pay on the first few dates just shows that he is investing time and money into you and is probably interested in pursuing a relationship with you. I'm not using these guys, but if he invited you out to dinner then he should pay.
As for your situation, you say your wife does not like when you pay. I would think that if you were married, then the money you would spend on a night out together would come from your joint account/cash.
My mother always taught me, if a guy doesn't pay on the first date; he doesn't want a relationship with you and is probably just looking for a fling. From my experience, she has been pretty right.
2007-02-08 01:13:11 · answer #3 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I prefer the man to pay for two reasons: 1. It means he's showing me he's a man (psychologically) and 2. it makes him seem like more of a gentleman. Usually the only time i like to pay is when i think he's paid too much or if he's broke....it sucks to pay for every date because it makes the guy look weak and boyish in my eyes and i can't respect a man who would let the woman pay for anything.
2007-02-08 01:13:05 · answer #4 · answered by Roxie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't get upset, that's just silly.
I DID tell an ex once, though, that it was my turn to pay for dinner, and he ordered a 10oz. Filet Mignon! The bill for us both was close to fifty dollars, and I was a vegetarian at the time! I never ordered anything bigger than a salad. Grr
2007-02-08 01:11:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I get mad when I really want to pay and they don't let me but then sometime I offer hoping they really won't let me and other times i get mad if I feel like I have to offer rather then them just paying. so I guess it's really just a no win situation
2007-02-08 01:08:19 · answer #6 · answered by MelC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
etiquette suggests that whoever does the inviting does the paying guy or gal. A man that cant get that well its sad. And vice versa
2007-02-08 01:08:19 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly A 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I only say i'm going to pay b/c I'm trying to be nice. And I only ask twice so after that I let them pay.
2007-02-08 01:13:46 · answer #8 · answered by DiG iT 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK???MAYBE I COULD DATE SOME OF THESE CHICKS ON THE SIDE! The dude can shove me out of the way anytime. I'm from the SOUTH where women don't pay!
2007-02-08 01:19:54 · answer #9 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I rarely offer to pay if we're dating. In a long-term relationship I will, and if he says no, I put my money away.
2007-02-08 01:08:52 · answer #10 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋