35 seconds ago
husband took away my son's play station for being rude... he was working on his laptop which his company gave it to him and busy with his project...son started to cry and being a brat about play station so he told him to go to his room and he is grounded for a week instead son got angry and throw his dad's laptop on floor hard , so hubby got furious and took his belt off and beat the crap out of him, i didn't say anything ...am i a terrible mom for letting my child being lashed? is hubby a terrible dad?
ps- laptop is dead after that incident
2007-02-07 16:58:11 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It would take more restraint than I have to avoid beating the crap out of a kid that wrecked a few thousand of my hard-earned bucks in a fit of anger.
2007-02-07 17:04:34 · answer #1 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that the problem here is that your discipline needs to be more controlled and less off the cuff. For instance, your husband should have stopped working on his laptop when the son was rude, and taken just a couple of minutes to explain to the son exactly what he had done that was rude, and how he should act in the future, and why he was losing the playstation for awhile. This would have been nice and calm and would probably have prevented what ended up happening. When the son starting protesting the punishment, that would also have been a good time for the dad to set aside his work and deal calmly with the son. I think from the description that the son needed some attention, and the laptop was getting all of the attention, so he took care of the laptop. Now, the son probably should have been spanked for throwing this down, but NOT by a man who is furious. It is very likely that your son was abused during this incident, because your husband was mad and because he was using a belt. The point where you should have intervened was not when your angry husband whipped off his belt - it was at the very beginning when the son was rude. My husband is totally clueless where the kids are concerned and tends to act off the cuff, so I just decided when my kids were 1 and 2 that I was going to train them in such a way that they wouldn't set off his terrible temper, and I trained them to obey and speak respectfully and not leave a trail of items behind them and take care of things around the house. You might be able to do training things with your son to avoid things like this happening in the future. If your husband is reasonable to talk to, then you need to talk to him so together you can determine exactly what happened that led up to this scene.
2007-02-07 18:45:53 · answer #2 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, a few points from my perspective.
1. My guess is that your son either is seeking attention (negative attention is better than no attention), OR he has not been diciplined consistently in the past. Most bratty kids that I have seen are acting that way because they got away with it in the past. When a parent is inconsistent or inadequate with punishments, then the child is more likely to push their parents buttons.
2. As for the severity of the punishment...If this is the first time it's happened, I would talk to your husband about it and see if one or both of you can sit down and talk to your son about it. He's probably very confused, hurt, and/or traumatized. If you can't approach your husband, than you have another problem, and should consider seeking proffessional help.
Also, how hard has he been lashed? It's very hard for me to understand a physical punishment since neither of my parents used it on me. But I know they both recieved the belt growing up.
In my opinion, these things are the most important:
The child needs to know: Why he's being lashed , When he can expect it (for example, if he doesn't know what the consequences are for a certain action, it's not fair that he gets beat for it), and that you both love him and would never resort to this unless it was absolutely necessary.
I would set up a list of punishments that would occur leading up to this. For example, Level 1: No going out/friends coming over; Level 2: No playing/watching TV; Level 3:The belt.
This way, it's no surprise, and he knows when he's going too far wtih you guys. Communication is the key.
If you punish him without proper explanation of the "system" being used against him, it's unfair.
If he's a monster child...Well, He didn't raise himself.
2007-02-07 17:37:47 · answer #3 · answered by mandybeach2004 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your hubby was momentarily blinded and is not a terrible dad. The child is also not to be blamed, he does not know the consequences of his action, or he would be an adult. I think, u should have intervened and tried to stop your husband. In a fit of rage and emotion, anything could have happened. Your husband was not himself, just imagine, he lost a lot of data, and the laptop belongs to his company. He could have killed or maimed the child. I think, u are guilt of the sin of ommission (not doing the right action, in an emergency situation). However as nothing serious has happened, the sin is not of consequence, but let it be a lesson for your future course of action.
2007-02-07 17:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two girls and I never hit them with a belt. One is still a small baby and the other is 2 and a half. With my oldest I have found that putting a mirror in thier room and forcing them to go to there room works. Eventully they look in that miror and see how fullish they look and calm down. After they calm down... try talking to them and finding out why he lashed out so bad. Maybe he wants more atention from his parents or something else has been bothering him and building up anger. I wish you the best hun and hope I could help :)
2007-02-07 17:13:34 · answer #5 · answered by shorty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically what your husband did when he lost his temper and "beat the crap" out of your son was a crime, and you aided and abetted him in this crime. If child protective services gets wind of this you will need an attorney and could possibly lose your child. You both need help in dealing with this situation.
2007-02-07 17:39:58 · answer #6 · answered by LMnandez 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, what happen was horrible, i understand stand that your
husband was working but to for you to let him beat the child
is bad. you should have said something. to the child to let him
know why dad did what he did, and then he would have understood a little better why dad was upset. and you should
have not let him do what he dd to him because every time
he get mad will he beat the child. you have a problem on your
hand.
2007-02-07 17:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son was in the wrong. He shouldn't have back talked like that. But your husband should have not done that. No matter how mad he was. Maybe you should have stepped in maybe not maybe he would have gotten it whorse. Talk to ur husband let him know you don't like that kind of behaver. And talk to your son. Your not a horrible mother.
2007-02-07 18:13:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i must agree that its not right for a good mum just to watch your son getting punished like that as for hubby i think he just let his angry out that he has to control =/
good luck with your family..........
2007-02-07 17:09:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont need to hit a kid with the strap to get ur point across...all ur doing is teaching the kid to be more aggressive.
2007-02-07 17:02:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋