Okay, so I'm pretty much ready to write my dad out my life and my mamas finally okay with that. She used to bug me bout forgivin him, but I'm a cold unforgivin person so I didn't want to but I did.
My dad has continously lied to me since he and my mama seperated. He has broken promises to me and hurt me emotionally for some old b*tch. He lets this woman run his life and has missed 4 of my birthdays bcuz she didn't want him to go. His lies have gotten so bad that even my friends don't expect much from him and know how he is. I always thought that bcuz my parents weren't together anymore and he couldn't see me whenever he wanted to, he would put out a bigger effort to see me and stay in my life; I was wrong. I haven't talked or seen him since Xmas, he hasn't called me until recently.
He knows what he does hurts and bothers me and he keeps sayin he's sorry, but he keeps doin it, so I guess he ain't to sorry. I'm tired of givin him chances, but should I give him one more?
2007-02-07 16:57:25 · 9 answers · asked by Glamorous 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm 19 now, so I don't think I really need him anymore. I have my mama and thats enough for me. I've always been the 'I'll never forget and I'll rarely forgive' type, so I want a non biased opinion
He always ignores me for like a month or 2 then try to call me and have the nerve to get all pissy when I don't wanna talk to him. He knows were I live were, I go to college, and were I work so if he really wanted to see me he could, but he doesn't.
He always used to get mad at me, sayin that I should try to spend more time with him, but he was the adult here not me and the one with the car; so it was his job to try and spend time with his only child. I have a car no and I'm an adult, but I don't wanna see him. I'm tired of this and him.
2007-02-07 17:39:56 · update #1
Honey I am so sorry that your father is being the way he is and I am sorry for him also because he is missing out on seeing you turn into a lovely young woman-but it's his choice! If he has lied to you repeatedly and broken more promises than you can you can count I think you have probaly given him all the chances he needed-why set yourself up to be hurt or disappointed again?? It will be HIS LOSS and he will regret it someday I am sure!Let HIM come to you- you've given him all the opportunities and now it will be his turn! Good Luck!
2007-02-07 17:05:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understaind you. My father is well he's like ur dad but whorse. and the bad thing is I actualy have to see him ( he's mental abusive and he does hit me and my sisters sometimes but thats a story I am not going into ) I don't think you should cut him out of ur life tottaly. You said you've forgiven him thats great but cutting him out of ur life will not solve the problem any now will it? I would at least call him on holidays or something you know? be better than him let him know u love him show it to him cause one day it'll come back to bite him in the azz that he did that to you but yet you still showed u loved him even though he hurt u so bad. I'm sorry that you've been though that it really sux I know my father said I wasn't his when I was born but when he was told he had to pay for the blood test he changed his mind and he denys that he did anything wrong and he's been in my life for almost 7 years now ( like i said long story lol ) anyway do what is best for you. Only you know what you should do.
2007-02-08 02:28:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all have this picture in our minds of what the ideal mom or dad would be to us. They would love us, ignore our faults, think our jokes were the funniest,buy us the perfect gifts, never forget anything important about us. And a lot of our parents come pretty close to that because they just love us so darn much.
When we have a parent who does not love us the way we want to be loved, it can really hurt. You need to rid yourself of the idea that this man is ever going to be the father you need him to be. If you are going to have a relationship with him at all, then you need to mentally release him from the expectations you've had of him, and meet him with whatever he is willing to give. He is trying to stay in contact with you, just not on the schedule you need him to so you will feel loved and close to him. Release him from that expectation, and just enjoy him when he does show up. You will regret it later if you close him out of your life now, because he really is trying to stay involved. Men tend to change and mature as they age, and there could well come a time much down the road when he will have matured enough to be able to give more to you in the way of a relationship, but if you are not around to enjoy it, you will miss it. My dad was either absent or 'not very nice' as I was growing up and we didn't have much of a relationship, but he started changing about 50, and more so at 60, and although he could not undo the past, he chose to be a good, supportive father from about 50 till he died last year at 66. If I had walked away at 18 like I wanted to, I'd have missed a whole lot of years of friendship with him. We did not have a father-daughter relationship, exactly, but we were warm, warm friends, and boy do I miss him now that he's gone. So, honey, don't throw away this relationship. You'll never have another father, and this one will grow up eventually.
2007-02-08 02:56:40 · answer #3 · answered by Cris O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go by your heart.
I am also in the same problem except the situation is different..
But i am not giving my dad last chance..I have already given him a lot of chances.
If person cannot respect the other given chances than he is not worth it of getting another chance. no matte whoever he is..Thats my opinion.
Best of luck dear!
2007-02-08 01:09:43 · answer #4 · answered by neil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Kid,
Just relax...if you feel that things are not going well with him....don't lingeron with the thing....do what you feel will support your mama as she is indeed the one who has suffered the most here... be by her side and do whatever you can to make her smile... Life is beautiful...find reasons to smile...Be Positive....
2007-02-08 01:09:51 · answer #5 · answered by s_neha24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure what's it gonna hurt? Perhaps he'll soon realize what he's missing by not being a part of your life, and you a part of his.
Dont throw him away just yet. Give him one more chance and ask him to please stop breaking your heart.
2007-02-08 01:03:03 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he your father, and he may be not be there for you.but alway
know that regardless how you feel. as you get older and you
have children of your own you may see things more clearly
but leave the door open.
2007-02-08 01:02:39 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just leave him alone and forget about him.
Don't get upset and hurt.
Just pretend he doesn't exist...
then he'll be hurt back.
2007-02-08 01:06:17 · answer #8 · answered by Jagger Otto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well all i can say here is.........your dad has alot of guts! to tell u the truth it takes alot so i would give him another chance to prove himself loyal to u =)
2007-02-08 01:04:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋