Are we bad parents?

Question

husband took away my son's play station for being rude... he was working on his laptop which his company gave it to him and busy with his project...son started to cry and being a brat about play station so he told him to go to his room and he is grounded for a week instead son got angry and throw his dad's laptop on floor hard , so hubby got furious and took his belt off and beat the crap out of him, i didn't say anything ...am i a terrible mom for letting my child being lashed? is hubby a terrible dad?
ps- laptop is dead after that incident

Answer 1

NO.. He needed that.. He probably will think twice, before he acts out that way again.. But, as a mother I understand how you feel, it is only natural.

Answer 2

The reason I do not like hitting kids is the chance for it to get out of control and that's how alot of abuse happens. This commonly happens because most parents are hitting their kids when they are angry.
I'm not sure exactly how old your child but I think an appropriate punishment would be to have take away the play station for a certain amount of time.
I don't know what state you are in , but in the state of Ct where I reside it is against the law to use objects to hit your child. I would say your husbands reaction was highly inappropriate. Your child hada tantrum because he was not getting his way and I'm sure did not intend to break the computer. {That doesnt mean he shouldnt have been punished} Then your hubby was upset and acted just as bad if not worse than your son. Your son acted violently by throwing the laptop and your husband responded violently. Now what is that teaching your son. It sure isn't teaching your son to learn to control his anger.
And yes, you should feel bad for allowing your husbnad to hit your son with the belt . That is violent and cruel. And if that left marks, your child could be taken away from you , so remember that.

Answer 3

Hi ,it sounds like your feeling reallt bad about this so no your not bad parents what your son did was terrible and he needed to be taught a lesson ,this is where its all going wrong parents not you or me say dont smack the kids ,look at some of the kids today mugging old ladies shooting people ,and all that ,something similiar happened at my house but my husband felt sooo bad about it he never did it again ,what does your husband say?laptops are alot of money ,he should only have hit him once and not at all if hes really young ,talk to your hubby and think of another punishment for next time because your boy could have got seriously hurt ,my hubby did it once and only hit my boy once and he felt bad about it longer than my boy.xxxxxxx

Answer 4

If you were bad parents, you wouldn't be asking this question. You would just continue to allow this sort of thing to happen with no remorse or guilt.

Talk to your hubby once everything calms down and come up with a better plan of action next time something like this happens. For example, you could send your son to his room immediately until everyone has calmed down and can deal rationally.

It sounds like your husband became so enraged that he just "snapped" when your son acted out, and did the first thing that came to his mind. It was NOT good judgement on his part, and yes YOU should have intervened as well.

But you can't change the past. Instead work on preventing something like that from happening ever again. Work on that plan. Good luck.

Answer 5

yes cos you don't explain yourself


OK now you've explained yourself, hmmm........ i can sure understand you and your husbands frustration at your son but that's one of the things that we as parents must understand, we are the adults therefore we must act responsibly when things like this happen, your husband could have put a few minutes aside to explain to your son that he had something important to do and that he would play with him later, i think you did the right thing not saying a word when your son was hit, if there's one thing i know parents should not disagree on discipline in front of the child, next time he knows mum wont be there to help him if daddy gets angry again, he might just think twice before throwing a tantrum, try some parenting classes they really worked for me, spanking was getting me nowhere, my kids are so calm now compared to before


ps, you cant really blame him for being a tantrum thrower dads not really a good influence in that department

Answer 6

A thrown laptop ,dead or not, does not merit a lashing. If this is an isolated incident, discuss it with your husband and look for alternate ways to deal with HIS anger and frustration. If this happens a lot you have a serious problem. If your husband acknowledges his problem, anger management classes or family counseling might work. If he doesn't think he is wrong or worse decides to take his anger out on you too, you might contact a women and children shelter and ask for their assistance.

Answer 7

Sounds like the dad went a LITTLE too far. It happens once in awhile though, I'm sure. I think it is time that your husband sit down and talk about how even adults can lose their tempers and why he got so angry. Get them to have a DISCUSSION about why your son was misbehaving and why your husband reacted the way he did.

Although I'm sure this is a very rare occurance, you need him to explain himself, otherwords you child could be emotionally harmed from the event.

Answer 8

Your not a terrible parent but i think the dad went a little too far maybe a couple of hits but the kid acted like a brat if one of my kids did that to a laptop theyd be in serious trouble dont feel to bad

Answer 9

I say bravo to your hunny. Look at how the world is turning out - the kids are rude, cheeky and have no manners. It is time more people did like your hubby - your kid will not go and throw another laptop again. You should be rewarded as parents for bringing back discipline.

Answer 10

I actually believe in spanking children and both my husband and I were spanked as children. (And I know a bunch of people nowadays have a heart attack when they hear that!) However, we have very specific requirements for spanking. The first being, NEVER, EVER spank in anger. What your husband did was plainly and simply to relieve his own anger, not to punish your child. Obviously your son is already out of hand for him to have done what he did, so there were parenting issues there before the incident. So, your husband shouldn't have blown up and hit your son in anger and yes, you should have intervened somehow. Does it make you bad parents? Yes - if you don't change and begin to do what is best for your child by getting educated in whatever child rearing philosophy you choose and creating boundaries for your son and yourselves as parents.

Answer 11

all these people how tell you that the kid did not deserve the whipping prrpably dont have kids.
and if they do their kid act that way on a consant basis
a good spanking help you diseplin. if the kid does not have somthing to give him pause then he will do what he feels like doing.
now i am not saying kick his *** all the time or when ever he dose something that makes you feel anger but he ruin somthing that not only was expensive but something that you will have to repalce that makes the action double bad
my kids dont act out (not like that ) they never ask me why i said no they never talk back.
i only spank when i have to and i ground or time out when i have to .
but when they get their punishment they get it and i let them know hard they messed up.
just as long as you give you child the love an suppore they need then they will love you and if they get the punishment they need they wont end up asshole later in life