inability to be loyal?

Question

heck, i'll admit it.if i was loyal,i wouldnt cheat so damn much.so there.im being honest.this is my life, i have a bf i've been dating for 3 years, on and off, he's the best friend in the world to me[jack] and we're very close, hes hurt me in the past so many times that i find it difficult to let myself love him even though i care about him.during that time i developed a relationship with an older guy[chris] in florida, we have no secrets, we've never met but we're in love.he keeps telling me, i cant hold u back, not until we meet, but all he does nowadays is accuse me, day in and day out.after i slept with jack, chris has been damn insecure, convinced i'll now sleep with everyone and anyone i meet, he believes he needs to advice me on whats wrong and right when i very well know myself.recently i kissed one of my friends for college, like a one night stand thing, without the sex, i did it, it felt good, great in fact and im not guilty at all.i told chris, and hes gone bonkers/

Answer 1

Well you have a self esteem issue stemming from desire to have all the attention from men you can get. I don't know you but it happened somewhere along the line---men are also like this with women--got to have all the women--for what reason???Who knows. I think you need the constant assurance that you are desireable and wanted----all these men seem to prove it to you and satisfy the need to know. Or maybe you have misdirected emotions----attractions that you have to satisfy causing turmoil and confusion.It doesn't make you very popular--and it isn't at all natural----rather immature to say the least. Rethink all this and see the problems as a signal about how you are living and loving.Help is available if you need it---compulsive behavior such as yours will only be a cause for problems later in life.Good luck

Answer 2

That was quite a saga, beginnings of a novel. You never asked a question. I will answer the obvious. You do not know what an adult mature caring relationship is. so all men are going to bring you trouble at this point. the older guy Chris, He is probably a pervert of some kind. and the other guy is a loser from way back. Why not move to another city and start over.

Answer 3

Your basically saying your online crush is jealous because you slept with your boyfriend?

I think both of you need a reality check. You can't love someone you have never met. A strong crush sure.

You two don't even know each-other well enough to use the L word. There is so many things you need to see, feel, smell you will never know through IM's, Emails, Phone calls etc. What if he is really unhygienic and has a funk to him. or horrible in bed and a control freak just to name a few. So many "unknowns" you need to see and experience first hand.

It sounds like you need to be single and just casually date. You are still young and need to experience it. Just don't use your current boyfriend as a comfort cushion while you go out and screw around. Tell him you need to be single right now and let him go

Answer 4

Dump Chris and Jack, and live out your youth having fun kissing and sleeping with whoever you want. You've NEVER met Chris (come on, lets be real now, that will never work out) and Jack has nothing to offer you because he's hurt you so much.

Go enjoy your life and have tons of fun while you're young. Trust me, when you get older, you'll be glad you did. (Just be safe!)

Answer 5

Little One. I'm gonna give you a quick Listen from Love College. We only have One Class. And you Graduate, when you fall in Love, For REAL! We teach that you listen to your Heart.The thumping sound, in your chest. The Heart. The place that Love is suppose to come from. You've had it in your head, eyes, and maybe some other places. But it's not form Your Heart. Bring it back to the Basics. Back to where you actually want it to be. Your Heart. You'll find real happiness, if you just slow down and trust your own Heart. You've failed doing it your way. Try it my way!. I wanna see you Graduate, soon. Love & Peace!

Answer 6

I'd avoid the relationships for now.

Play the field and sow your oats. Have fun. Get it out of your system so to speak.

You'll settle down when you're ready.

As for Chris...he isn't ready either. He says "go one and have fun" and when you do he goes nuts. How fair is that?

Right, it isn't. Keep him as a friend or boy toy but move on emotionally.

Answer 7

What are u really looking for. U cant string a number of guys along, it will end up hurting all of u. Why dont u try to understand what u want in a guy and only go for one such guy and see if it can work.
Whats the goal here?

Answer 8

Chris sounds a little scary - you haven't even met him and he's jealous of the guy you're "cheating" on with him? I think you should dump them both and play the field. Sounds like you're bored and want to try something new, so don't string along your boyfriend and don't tie yourself down with internet boy.