My husband deployed a month ago, and its been kind of hard on me espically with me being nine months pregnant and caring for our other two children. I was really relying on my family support and they all promised they would be there if I needed to talk or anything, well since my husband left I've not spoken to my family. They don't answer,they don't return calls or anything. And the one time I did get a hold of my mom, she ended the call in less than 1 minute!! I have 4 sisters, and not talked to any of them. My husbands family calls and checks on us everyday. What should I do? I feel so betrayed!
2007-02-07 16:16:47 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I can't just go knock on their door, I relocated when my husband got stationed in Georgia.... I'm here by myself!
2007-02-07 16:29:01 · update #1
I’m really sorry to hear you are going through this - especially by yourself. I know how tough it can be. My husband has been gone almost as much as he has been home during our 16+ years together with his career. I also have three children so went through many a situations with no support from family (I have never had family close).
You have the right to feel what you feel. But honestly that isn’t going to do you any good, to fuel negativity - it doesn‘t change their behavior and it can put you and a bad state. Something you do Not need right now.
First off I would confront them - in a loving way. Explain to them you feel really alone & isolated right now. You would really like if they could be ‘there’ for you but explain Exactly what you mean by that. Each person would have a different opinion of what that might be.
They may not even realize how their behavior is effecting you; there may be things going on in their own lives that has taken them away from you and because they know you are already burdened - they may not want to add to that by sharing it with you. I am not saying that is the case - it is just important to understand that we do not know what is going through someone else’s mind if they don’t tell us.
Hopefully you will be able to get some response from them. Either explaining why they have distanced themselves or maybe just ‘step up’ to help out more - but if not, that is OK. There are other options for you.
First off - reach out to His family more. If they are reaching out to you take that and truly appreciate it. Let them be there for you!
Other options are to find a local group to get support from - either through your husbands organization or on your own. If your spouse is Military - go to family services, see what support they can offer you; and what support groups you have available to you through them. If you have a spiritual preference; find a local ‘church/group’ that can help you out. Talk to your doctor about support groups for pregnant women, women with deployed members, women with children etc. Another option is to call a local doula, lamaze coach, midwife, and/or the le leche league. Explain your situation and ask them if there are any support agencies they can recommend.
One other Great option is to find a Success Coach in your area. A good Coach can help you create a manageable atmosphere for you and offer suggestions on where to find help/support for specific areas of Your life.
Sending you well wishes!
2007-02-07 17:08:48 · answer #1 · answered by Ms P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How far are you from your family? how far did you move. i bet they know that your husbands family is there for you. Im really sorry that you are going thru this.My son married a girl and they moved away. When I call she is kinda rude , its like oh god what do you want now but I still call often to check on the grand babies.I have no clue as to why ur mom hasnt come to stay with you thru this blessed time. I would be there in a heart beat! I'll be praying for you and you take care and feel blessed that your husbands family is there for you.
2007-02-07 16:44:46 · answer #2 · answered by kitkat19582002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I would feel mad and upset with them too. You should write them all a letter. Explain to them how you feel about their absence during this time in your life. Let them know your husband's family has taken more time for you than they have and you feel deeply hurt by their actions. Tell them that you would have expected so much more from family than that. It may actually not make a difference, but at least you can get the resentment that is building up inside you off your chest. Good luck with you, your baby, and your husband. Many prayers to all of you.
2007-02-07 16:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by teashy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some families are like they, all talk and no action. They probably said it thinking that it would make you feel better, but honestly they don't want to be put out..if you know what I mean. I am sorry that they are acting like this, but the only thing you can do is stop trying. I know they are your family, but you have enough on your shoulders right now to be chasing after them. If your husbands family is willing to help out then just turn to them when you need something and try not to let it stress you out. You can worry about them later.
2007-02-07 16:24:26 · answer #4 · answered by pan2fly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do you have an idea of maybe why they are acting like that? Are they against the recent deployment. It's hard to answer because your question lacks information on what occurred or was said before all this came to be. I do feel for you because it sounds like you long for your family's affection and understanding at this time.
I disagree with the deployment of your husband at a time when he is needed most. By your side that is.
I commend him for his valor but as a father myself, I would rather enjoy the gifts god has given me and be there to raise them alongside my wife. Not an easy decision to make.
All in all you are brave in your own way, for you are taking on a life long commitment. A commitment to your creations. Good luck.
2007-02-07 16:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by EddieRasco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what you assert is reality, and not in any respect basically on your head. you opt on to speak on your SIL about the relationship that you both do not have. Do others on your relatives have a situation with her besides? Or is it purely YOU? Do you spot what i'm getting at? it should be something that you're growing. (because you at the instantaneous are not keen on her) I anticipate you've a stunning good reason on your emotions in the route of her. (purely something else to consider) Ck with her on the invitation. appears like possibly this example is overblown, and must be resolved on an adult element. households take some attempt, what with all the personalities in touch. I do desire that you're waiting to unravel those subject matters. save in ideas your nieces are those being affected the following. it really is not unavoidably about YOU. solid success!
2016-12-03 21:27:23 · answer #6 · answered by lemmer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family members are people too huh? Please don't take the time to decipher your family behavior. What is more important to you is the well being of your children. This is what you live for in your life. Make sure they are well fed, cloths and mostly educated. Who ever have the listening ear, ask for their help.
Although your husband's family is being very gracious to check on you and your children well being. Your husband holds part responsibility for his kids. It is he who always have to come and take care of your needs, especially for his kids. It will be your family bad luck to see and be part of your kids growth. Please ask God for His almighty help.
2007-02-07 16:42:17 · answer #7 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your family. Go see them, they won't shut the door on your face. Ask them if you've done something wrong. Tell them you need their support and help during these tough times.
2007-02-07 16:20:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think u should call someone that u know a long time and u trust that person.sisters is good to talk to u know.where is your husband ?try calling your mom agian but try to talk long when she is about to say she have to go u just say i not feeling so good because i have no one to talk to
2007-02-07 16:35:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know it hurts.. but just expect nothing - and u wont be disappointed. anything they do give you will be a nice surprise. just find people closer to you who can give you the support you need. at least his family cares.
2007-02-07 17:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by fruyazol 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋