It was entertainment night at the senior center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, Unlike most hypnotists, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting…
"Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly ----- it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"S**T!" said the Hypnotist.
It took 3 weeks to clean-up the senior center!
2007-02-07 16:15:41 · 14 answers · asked by Kathleen G 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
That IS hysterical !!
The hypnotist better "watch" out the next time so he doesn't give another "sh**ty" performance !!
2007-02-07 16:40:30 · answer #1 · answered by Adios 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not even funny the following ones are funny
yo mums so poor....
When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
She waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.
Burglars break into yo momma's home and leave money.
When I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.
The building society repossessed her cardboard box.
She watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers
She can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
When I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked yo momma what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.
I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.
When I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'
I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner...ANY corner..."
I visited yo momma's house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"
I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."
Only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted...
When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."
She hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.
Closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley....with a box on it...
She had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
Even Beggars give you money.
She bounces food stamps.
She can't even afford to pay attention.
She uses cardboard and ribena as bread and wine substitutes.
She uses chewing gum as a band aid.
She lives in a 2-story Cracker Jack box.
She uses white-out as a tooth filler.
She can't afford a mop - she stands on her head in order to mop the floor...
Her idea of Desert was to go outside and collect the 'yellow snow'...and yo loved it, didn't ya!
------------------------------...
Yo momma so short she can hang glides Doritos.
Yo momma's like a "Happy Meal" small, cheap and greasy.
Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like ****.
Yo momma's so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.
Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo momma's so short, she does back flips under the bed.
2007-02-08 04:51:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i read diz 1 yesterday but its still hella funny
2007-02-08 00:29:54 · answer #3 · answered by abcdefg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was pretty good I have never heard that one before.
2007-02-08 09:00:14 · answer #4 · answered by Daigsmommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL,it's so funny,very good.
thanks.
2007-02-08 00:51:40 · answer #5 · answered by Mary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hehehe>>>heard before, but, still could laugh.
2007-02-08 02:22:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Still makes me laugh!!!!!
2007-02-08 00:26:20 · answer #7 · answered by Lori 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ho ho he he great one 10/10
2007-02-08 04:45:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LoL
2007-02-08 01:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by MuZzZ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
old one---funny though
2007-02-08 00:19:01 · answer #10 · answered by livvie locke vampire princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋