My daughter says, my teacher doesn't like me?

Question

My daughter goes to a youth group. The Youth Director is great but when they break into smaller groups, my daughter's 6th grade leader doesn't seem friendly toward her.

Should I let my 12 year daughter figure this out? Or should I jump in and have a talk with this leader? My daughter has a hard time telling people how she feels.

Here is an example: My daughter comes in the room, and the leader will be plain with her, but when three girls walk in the room, she talks with enthuiaism toward them. It is very subtle but my daughter picks it up big time. I reaasure my daughter that it's not her and that adults have baggages from past. Is this too much for my daughter to understand? Should I interfere? Sometimes I think my daughter wants to solve her problems for her.

Answer 1

ask her if she wants u 2 talk with the leader and if not tell her if she want u 2 change her into a different group or 2 take her out of the youth group

Answer 2

It's good that you have good communication with your daughter. That helps so much when a youth is going through problems. Keep encouraging your daughter that the problem is not with her. Since this is the youth director, this is not good if your daughter seeks a leader or mentor to talk to. There may be another leader that could become a mentor for your daughter. That way the mentor will be there for her, while she can still participate in the youth activities and not be so affected by the apparent inward issues from the youth leader.

Answer 3

As a mother you should not interfiere in in your daughters problem becausee this is not personel. You should advice her to talk to the leader and ask what is the problem with the leader towards her maybe something for the first time have made the leader some bad impression towards your daughter. A talk wil good and consult her Director as well to change a group by her self. give her some advice and try to find out the problem and solve it.

Answer 4

I want to share something that's very important. I'm going to also ask you to really think about what I am going to express and be very assertive toward my statement to you. There could be known and unknown factors involve is this situation with daughter's plight, including misinterpretation, especially if your daughter is very sensitive toward adults.

Please understand your daughter is not there to be like or love.
The most important factor is that the Youth Director must respect your daughter. You can't force nor persuade anyone (YD) to like or love you, Martin Luther King tried.

Understand it in this fashion, Let say in your daughter's regular school, and she get A's in her grades, but she feels indifference because she sense her teacher doesn't like her. The number one question comes to your mind (as parents), have your teacher said or done something to disrespect you? Normally, the answer would be no. Your conclusion,,, it doesn't matter!

This is the same issue. As long as the Youth Director respect her, and then everything is ok! And you (mom) you must decipher between the truth and your daughter's exaggerations or misunderstanding.

Ok, what to tell your daughter. First, after you have determine it is only a personal matter. Explain the importance of respect. Let her know that the Youth Director have to respect her, and if she know this is not happening, it is time for you (yes) to interfere. I know people suggested not get involve so your daughter can grow-up. You are parent and your the teacher, and one day your daughter will be a parent too. It is the duty of the parents to take care of their child well being, but I caution you.

If the matter causes you to comfort the Youth Director, not only you must approach with courtesy and respect, listen carefully to both sides. If the Youth Director is at fault, but refuses to admit it! Gracefully remove your daughter from the program and warn others of this situation, including supervisors, county, teachers and other parents. Most of all encourage your daughter to pray for the Youth Director. Now your daughter knows what type of an adult she is going to be when grows up and deal with other children. This will teach her to be warm and caring toward other people children, especially if she becomes and teacher or a Youth Director herself. Good luck

P.S.

A lot of people feels best the way for a child to grow is for him/her to experience the problem. This is not always true. It is the duty of the parents to educate their child in order to avoid foolish costly mistakes.

God Bless.

Answer 5

It is possible that the Group Leader talks plain to her when alone as maybe she finds your daughter shy and doesn't want to freighten her.
When a group walks in she tries to get everyone's attention (as they may be talking amonst themselves)
You could always speak to the Leader but I would put it more like "my daughter is shy and sometimes feels" make it more of your daughter's problem as opposed to the Leader's.
(You don't want any bad vibes between them)

It may just be some kids are more sensitive and feel that that because they don't get fussed over that the leader or Teacher doesn't like them.

I thought my teacher didn't like me because she was always yelling at me. After my mom explained that I was afraid to go to school she calmed down a little. Her excuse (and she was right) was that she wanted me to learn french (and I did because of her persistance)
Good luck

Answer 6

2 trains of thought is
1) You let her be a big girl & handle it
2) You let her forgo that pain & confront this woman to figure out what the problem is.

Go with 2, if your daughter confronts this woman, she has a lack of authority on her side & can possibly really get her feelings hurt. I am not saying beat this woman up, I am just saying figure out why she is treating your daughter this way & if it doesn't stop or you don't feel you got a satisfactory answer you need to really think about mentally preparing your daughter or moving her to another group.

Answer 7

interfere and let this teacher know that playing favs doesn't go she is a leader and needs to act as one she is there for all not just a few and your daughter needs you to step in she doesn't feel right talking to her about this so she came to you for help. so go talk and work this out and if it continues take your daughter out and talk to someone over this woman's head.. good luck

Answer 8

I think you should give her time to try and handle it on her own but let her know that if she won't handle it you will. I loved it when my mama stuck up for me. Teachers and adults in general tend not to give a damn what a child says but they'll listen to an adult.

Answer 9

I would have a talk to that leader and the person above her...

Answer 10

if u talk to the guy hell be embarrased and even more uncomfrotable round your daughter, prbly making him be more terse.