cutting...?

Question

i have posted some questions about this before.

one of my friends relapsed into depression early this week and it is worse than ever before. i have seen her become so sad that she has spent days crying, but it is worse now. she has shrunk into a shell and her eyes are dull and unresponsive. she has moments where phrases or questions connect, but they are rare and few. she has also started cutting. she wants to stop. she has told me that during the few times when she is "better", but it is an addiction she can't quit.

are there any ex-cutters who have advice for me or my friend on how to get through this? i am trying to be supportive and let her come to me and not badger her with questions, but i can't help her without knowing what the problem is. i don't know the cause of her depression. she and her boyfriend have never fought, her parents divorced MANY years ago and that has been resolved, and i can't think of anything else. what can i do to help her?

Answer 1

i used to cut.
its a high, its hard to stop on your own, and if she cant stop by herself, or with your or her boyfriends help. she needs more. get the school counselor, or a parent of hers, someone who can help her. she'll be mad at you trust me. but if shes to the point where she cant control it, and she wants to stop, and theres depression, its more than just cutting. she may be mad, but she'll know how much you helped her eventually, and if you really care about your friend you'll do this for her. i know thats not what you wanted to hear, but its all thats left.

Answer 2

Hi Happyinbl...,

Let me start off by saying how much I admire you for standing by you friend in this difficult time she is going through. Your friend is very fortunate to have you in her life, not many people understand cutting and because of that, their fears prevent them from being able to deal with it. The question I need to ask is, has your friend had or been to counselling before?, if not you need to sit down with your friend and help her search for a counsellor. In the mean time there is a "cutters" help line which is: 1 (800) Don't Cut 366 - 8288.

Your friend may not understand or know what is truly triggering her depression at this time and that's OK, this happens to people how are depressed. Through counselling or seeing a psychiatrist a person can slowly recover and cutting is what I would call an offshoot of depression in a way. It's taking the focus of your emotional pain and focusing your pain somewhere else by cutting.

Your friend might feel guilty and embarrassed by having to tell a counsellor or psychiatrist and in feeling this be resistant and even scared, but reassure her that these are normal feelings that all cutters experience. Just be reassuring to her that you are going to continue to be there for her and that seeing a professional could ultimately save her life. I wish you and your friend the best of luck!



Sincerely,

Alice H.

Answer 3

I think you should talk to her about getting professional help. When I was at my worst I didn't think I needed any help, but I had very caring friends that set me up with a counselor, and I was finally able to verbalize my feelings instead of cutting. She may get mad at you for suggesting it at first, but if you talk to her about it and tell her how scared you are for her, she will understand. Other than that you can only continue to do what it sounds like you are doing already, being a good friend.

Answer 4

well just try to remind her of the all the things that made her laugh and just ask her if she knows why shes so depressed but just make sure she dosent do antthing really bad(like suicade)

Answer 5

She needs help! 2 boys in our family use to cut themselves, due to there bi-polar, they are both on the right medication and have stopped. see her doctor. get better help. do not try on your own.