When you have to have your counceling classes. How Personal do the pastor get with the questions they ask?
2007-02-07 14:28:05 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He will want to know the reason why you want to be married, want to know your values, he will read from the bible things about getting married, and what the husband role is as well as the wife's role in the marraige. He will probably give you booklets to help you understand more about being a married couple. And make sure that yous are ready for this.
He wont get into every little detail, he just wants to make sure that this is really what yous want.Dont feel pressured, and just listen and focus on the advise he will give you.It will help build your relationship stronger with your husband and help you out when things get tough.
Congradulations!
2007-02-07 14:35:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Our pastor basically sat with us once a week (for an hour) for 6 weeks. He never got too personal. He basically talked with us about keeping our business OUR business, and asked if we had discussed how we were planning on handling finances, having children, our families. Then there were times when he just wanted to know how were were handling the actual planning of the wedding, what had and had not been completed. We also went over the ceremony with him, traditions, scriptures, and music that we wanted incorporated into the ceremony, and how the day would flow.
Not every pastor and/or denomination is the same. I am Lutheran and we were married in a Lutheran church. Also, he would not preform the ceremony less than 6 months of the wedding and the counseling was mandatory. My Catholic friend had to go to a weekend retreat and my Methodist friend didn't have to do anything. Her pastor didn't even know their names. He had them written down on a small sheet of paper as he preformed the ceremony.
Don't worry...you always have the right not to tell things that you don't want known.
Good luck!
2007-02-07 18:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by Summer Breeze 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is safe to say that this would depend enormously on the denomination and also on the pastor himself (or herself). Some churches have particular issues that are much more important to them than others; the questions asked by say a Latter Day Saints Elder are going to differ very much from a Catholic priest or a baptist minister. Likely they will all try to get a generally feeling about why you want to be together and makes sure you know the importance of committment, etc. They may get personal as far as asking how your relationship is, but I would expect that regardless of what denomination we are talking about, the pastor is not going to ask for intimate sexual details! Certian pastors might be concerned with any premarital relationships that have gone on, but other then address that issue in general, I certially hope they won't ask any explicit questions about what kind of premarital activities you might have been involved in. I would be a litle worried if they start prying too closely into that.
2007-02-07 14:47:57 · answer #3 · answered by mlle-fantine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In addition to a lot of the questions above, you may be asked questions about who will be handling the finances, when you have kids, who will be the one to help with homework, or how you'll split up holidays (if you're not hosting them) between families.
Some pastors are concerned with your ability to focus on the mundane challenges that face every couple, and they want to see how you will handle those challenges, and if you've thought or talked about them. It's a way of making you aware that these types of things can and do happen every day, and to see how well you problem solve as a couple.
Best of luck to you!!
2007-02-08 01:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by sylvia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I went to the classes, the pastor didn't get too personal. He just asked us about our seperate family histories, how we met, and why we wanted to marry each other. We wrote family histories for one session and talked about the similarities. Another time we wrote each other love letters that told each other what we loved about each other and why we wanted to get married. The pastor isn't there to really pry into your past, but to just get the couple to open up and reveal themselves and feelings in an open situation. It was actually a lot of fun for us.
2007-02-07 14:35:31 · answer #5 · answered by lysistrata411 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These are the questions we had to answer for our pastor in lieu of counseling.
Why am I marrying this person? 3 answers
What is marriage? write in 25 words or fewer.
Is the person I am marrying my friends? How long have I known this person?
Do I really know the person I am marrying? little, somewhat, well, verywell
What are the five characteristics I admire about the person I am going to marry?
Do we communicate well with each other? yes, no, somewhat
What is it about the person I am marrying that attracts me?
What do I think the person I am marrying finds attractive in me?
What dynamics in my upcoming marriage are most important? Rate 1-10, 1 least to 10 most
God and religion; Sex; common values; communication; money;cooking; keeping an orderly house; careers; children; in laws; location of home; health
Are you open to resurces to help build the marriage?
Does that include: marriage counselors, clergy, educators in the field, books, video, and other helps? (circle all that apply)
Do I really understand what loving another person is all about?
Write a paragraph of what your meaning of love is.
2007-02-07 17:15:29 · answer #6 · answered by ~M~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I had a conversation about penguins, I think he must have been watching the Discovery channel!
He also brought it into the service when we got married, so I superimposed penguins onto one of our wedding photographs as a memento!
I hope yours is as humorous.
2007-02-07 14:39:58 · answer #7 · answered by tattie_herbert 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋