What do I do? Teenager on drugs?

Question

I have a 15 yo and we have had problems with him in the past for Marijuana, but today he was arrested at school for PI and was high as a kite on Xanax. This was probably the worst experience of my life - he was passed out it the drunk tank and he didn't even seem to know us. He was actin like he was drunk, and it was really scay. I just lost it. I am scared to death and don't know what to do. I don't want him to end up dead, but I don't know where to turn. I hear this is the new "cool" thing that kids are doing. He needs help. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I appreciate any input

I'm sorry if I sound like I've lost hope; I haven't I'm just scared and worried for him. We have tied the grounding, taking the ddor off of his room, he is NEVER alone. The problem is he got it at school, what a blow. I guess I have been living under a rock or something. My kids are my world, I'm just in shock and probably have been in denial - I'm embarrassed to admit it, but it's true.

Answer 1

.House arrest , home schooling

Answer 2

So a lot of people I knew growing up experimented with drugs - and just a few of them had any real problems resulting from said experimentation. But - he shoud be educated about the physical damage he's doing. Ask his doc. for details and to talk to him about it. And he should be given the chance to figure out why he wants to take drugs and be high anyways. What does he want to avoid? Can talking about it help? Pay attention to his friends. They will lead him, to some extent. If you freak out on him he will reject you and not tell you the truth about anything that he's doing. If he knows he can come to you when he needs someone to vent to without being 'punished' then he will. Give him parameters that make sense. A curfew that allows him to live a regular social life, but not one so late he's the last one to leave. How did he get that Xanax? He shoud be punished for lying and screwing around at school - those are bigger deals than the actual drugs he was on. And he should know that he scared you and that you love him very much regrdless.

Was there any sudden chage in his personality? Did something happen? Is he hanging out with new people? There are lots of reasons for any of those things to happen, but shoot, the boy is 15 and if I remember that was the worst year ever. I was mean, I was stupid, I was horney, I was rude, I was ugly, I was clueless, I was upset with life. being 15 sucks, and he's going to need some good coping mechanisms. Tell him stories from your years growing up - stuff that he might relate to and which might help him see you as a friend and companion instead of a stranger and disciplinarian. Didn't you ever screw up? You turned out ok, right?

love him lots and it should be fine. and if you set an example of honesty, he will learn from it.

I'm 26. I'm doing ok. Being human is scary and difficult and everyone has to make mistakes. Good luck with him. He's not that bad off, seriously. To have these be his big dramas means that he has made some good choices along the way too. Remember that perspective. There were lots of times he could have made far worse decisions.

and to note - almost all kids get their drugs at school. where else would they get them? its either your medicine cabinet, a sibling or family friend, or at school. it is a downer - but fully expected.

Answer 3

Find out why your child feels the need to take drugs it has to be a reason behind this. Is he craving attention? Do you have a open relationship with him? Have you ever showed him what people look like and how they turn out on drugs? This needs to start at a young age. Scare him straight take him to a place where the people are hungry, need clothes, have mental problems, no teeth, dirty, scabs, anything that would look nasty and tell him if he continues to do these things he will be one of those people. Take him to a cemetary. Have the police or hospital personnel scare him. Take some of his freedom away. Show up at places unplanned. Check on him often. Ask questions everyday because children know when you care about them or if your busy and kind of push them off to the side. Be persistent because once you let a child get a pass they look for another and another and another. If you don't have an open relationship try and develop one don't try and be there best friend but let me know that they could tell you anything whether it's embarassing, exceptable or not. Try not to always yell and scream but listen to what the child is saying. Never let that child lie to you and get away with it. Get numbers of there friends and call check in on your child to make sure there at the place they told you they would be. Get aquainted with the friends parents and see what kind of parents your childs friends have. Ask the friends questions and put them on the spot. I'm 27 and I thought about all the things my parents didn't do and these are the things that could have changed my course of action because I experimented with drinking and smoking at 16. It was only 11 years ago that I did that and I remember. Try and think of the things you did at that age, and why did you do it.

Answer 4

I am a senior in high school this year and i had to turn my whole life around when i found out i was pregnant!! but yes this is the cool thing to do in high school.. some of my best friends are like that and alot of them have gotten into trouble.. and over half of my guy friends have dropped out! and i'm from a very nice town and my family is very well- off !!! it is scary to think about what the world is coming to these days...

No matter what it seems like your son has already gotten into this group..and inless there is some kinds of mircle that happens it going to be hard to get him to leave him..

if you move schools... he will just get into that group again!!

even if he get involved in sports .... EVEN the boys that are the sport teams do this kind of stuff too!!!

my best advice that i can give you from experience is give him RULES RULES RULES (Not saying you don't..i'm sure you are a great parent) .. but give him more..

curfew.... 8 .. grades only A's... he can only go out 1 night during weekend's....and he still has to be home at 8!! make him do some kind of community service.. do not let him out of your site!!

it doesn't really sound like he needs to be sent anywhere yet.. BUT IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE if you do not stop it now!!

you are his mother and he will listen even if you have to repeat it 2344593 times!!!

trust me he will find some way some how to get back with his buddies and do this again .... you know your son...

Answer 5

Its kinda too late to do much. I was like that as a kid, and can maybe offer some suggestions. For one thing, if he got arrested the legal system should put some sort of scare into him. They will put harsher consequences on his actions than you can. It might sound counter-intuitive, but making a big deal out of this is the wrong thing to do. Just don't let him forget about court, etc. Offer some support, and be honest about your concerns. I suspect that harsher discipline will only make him rebel more. It sounds like he almost died, so I hope things go well for you.

I might add that rehab doesn't do much good for people that don't want to go. Mabye drop him off at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and make sure he goes in. Seeing and talking to those folks might make him think.

Answer 6

Take a look at your family dynamics. Has anything changed? Has he made new friends who have peer pressured him maybe?
It's hard because teenager don't really say what they feel but my suggestion is turn to an adult he trusts and see if they can get something out of him.

Stay strong and be very vigilant. Where is he obtaining the drugs?
Find the source and stop it. You are his parent. Stop him going out if you must, transfer schools etc. Get him away from whatever it is. I know it can be hard, but no sacrifice should be too big when it comes to protecting your child.

I'm a big fan of tough love, he will hate you now but love you later

Answer 7

This really depends on the level of cooperation you have with your child. If he is very cooperative, I would suggest sending him to rehab. If he is adamant about continuing this way then you might want to think of a forceful way of convincing him (I.E: No car, no allowance, no going out...) Lastly, if none of the above work, you might be able to call the police and have them talk to your son. He will not get arrested, but it will sure freak him out. Hope this helps.

Answer 8

Well, I have an uncled who lost 20 years of his life because of drugs, but he has recently recovered from that vice.

I think you have to take advantage of the fact that you still have some control over his life, and it would let you take immediate measures to prevent him from getting involve in worst situations.

Answer 9

keep on him, dont just let it pass by, my daughter is noiw 28 and never been better but she to at 15 took drugs at school, i was so upset, i confronted her and the boy who gave them to her, got him kicked out of our school system totally and i went to school with her for a week, every class, lunch even to the bathroom, i let her know i meant business, she also got very sick and it scared her, she took crank and it made sores in her mouth, i was lucky she saw it was bad and she never did it again and like i said she is now a mother of 2 , is married and has a good job, just dont let up on him, make him stop, get him help, just dont give up

Answer 10

MAYBE THERE IS A SPECIAL SCHOOL FOR YOUNG FOLKS WITH ADDICTION PROBLEMS. ASK THE LAW ENFORCEMENT PEOPLE OR JUDGE OR WHOMEVER BUT DO GET ASSISTANCE WITH THIS. HE NEEDS HELP ! MAYBE THE PRINCIPAL OF THE SCHOOL HAS INPUT. GET SEVERAL OPINIONS AND THEN MAKE YOUR DECISION. DONT GIVE UP AND DONT LEAVE ANY STONES UNTURNED REGARDING FINDING A TREATMENT AND A TRAINING PROGRAM WHERE HE CAN FEEL IMPORTANT ABOUT HIMSELF.

Answer 11

maybe your son is trying to get attention from you? you know like a cry out for help? do you spend quality time with him? do you show interests in what he's into? have you talked with him on why he feels the need to use drugs?

sometimes kids do things that they think will help them fit in with the "cool" kids.

i'm not sure what else to tell you...since i have no children of my own...but i hope i've helped out somewhat.