My exboyfriend, my first love whom I was with from the time I was 16 until I was 19, just sent me a message on myspace to tell me that he was having a baby with his new girlfriend and to say hello and see how life is treating me. It's weird because I had a dream about him 2 weeks ago out of the blue and have been thinking about him non-stop ever since and then he contacts me for the first time in 5 years. I have a son and am engage but I am VERY depressed all of a sudden hearing that he is going to be starting a family with someone else and is also getting married. I thought I was over him but I'm realizing now that I never have gotten over him. I can't stop thinking about him and am so depressed. I have never felt the connection I felt with him with anyone else, my fiance included, and my ex has told me the same thing in the past. We shared something very special. How can I let him go? I've tried but can't stop dwelling on this. Thanks.
2007-02-07 13:46:13 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know the feeling hon...but your forgetting that HE contacted you. If anything you should be happy that he hasn't gotten over you either. Your not the only one feeling like this, he is too. If his presence is going to depress you then you need to delete his note from your page....you don't need to look at that everyday as a reminder. Out of sight, out of mind.
You might think that your not over him when in fact you are...right now you could be feeling jealous about the fact that he's moving on with his life and you didn't get a chance to say that you've moved on with yours.
The best advice I can give you is...do not tell him how you feel. If you tell him how your feeling then you've given him power over you...and you've stroked his ego. I'm sure you don't want that. Also, sometimes a person comes back into our lives for closure. Maybe he's seeking closure. This could be the opportunity for the both of you to iron out your differences from the past. When things are finally said, that can bring closure. Right now your dwelling because you haven't said and done all you've wanted to do years ago. This could be the time, but be careful how you introduce this subject...wait for the right moment where you don't allow him power over you...once you've said all that you've wanted to say then its time that you move on. Always remember why the both of you broke up in the first place...that piece of information should give you strength.
Good Luck.
2007-02-07 14:04:32 · answer #1 · answered by chyna0069 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey it's called life. My ex and I broke up a almost a year ago. We both have new significant others. His gf is preg and he told me that right away. I was jealous at first thinking "that should have been my child" but you kno what, and you know what so will your. I'm very happy with my life as it is. It took time. I love my bf with all my heart. I don't have the same connection with him as I do my ex. You'll never find that again because no two people are the a like.
My advice don't dwell on the past, it's over we can't have it back. Remember things happen for a reason. Be happy for him as I'm sure he's happy for you.
The depressed feelings will pass I swear.
2007-02-07 13:55:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he just wanted to catch up with an old friend. Take it for what it is and don't read to much in to it. Be happy for him that his life is coming together and know that you will always have a place in your heart for him. Wish him luck, congradulate him and feel good about it. If you really still love him then let him be happy with his new family, this action will make you happy too. You will know that you sacrificed your feelings for his happiness, that is the ultimate act of love. Be happy for yourself too, look at what you have and try to focus on it. I have an ex too, I will always love him and I like to think that he will always love me. But he married as did I, I find happiness in those youthful memories of that one first true love, but I also live in reality. I've grown and so has he, but I try to picture myself as an old lady with those fond memories that I will always cherish in my heart. But, I also think about the memories that I still have to make with my husband, I will cherish those too. Believe me, I do understand. I go through the same thing and have been since the last time I spoke to the ex, 15 years ago.
2007-02-07 13:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by skkydreemer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is weird because something sort of similar happened to me recently. I don't really know what to tell you but if you aren't truly in love with your current man then it is best to let him go. It wouldn't be fair to him. Is it at all possible that you and your ex could just be friends (I know that I couldn't do that but just throwing the idea out there) I'm sorry I really wish I could help you but that is definitely a tough one!
2007-02-07 13:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by Amaya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are you saying? I don't get it. You mean to say you can't forget your first love I know it's not easy to do that but that's life........u have to go on with it. After all, you already have a son and u are engaged. He is even starting a new life with someone just be happy with what you got.......take care of yourself and family.
2007-02-07 13:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by Sa 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's what happens to our 'first loves'. I fell in love with my best friends x-GF, and she was the coolest girl I knew. The problem was that I didn't know I was in love. So I didn't know what to do until she moved away. Then when I felt her absence, it really hurt.
She will always have a place in my heart, but that is all she can have. I have to move on.. You have to do the same..
Like in Casablanca, "we'll always have paris." And that would be the same with your first love..
2007-02-07 13:55:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best part is to wish every happiness for him. Purify your thoughts for the sake of past happy moments of your life & keep them alive in a corner of your brain. Lead a pure & true love life with your present surroundings. It is a telepathy of your true love with your first B/F that when you think of him he also remembers you. So don't loose this with your impure thoughts now wish him good life with his present partner. He will also wish same to you.
2007-02-07 13:55:59 · answer #7 · answered by P S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's always the first true love that really gets you. i've noticed that too. no matter what is going on in their life, you can't seem to push them out of yours. you need to focus on what you share between you and your fiance now that you don't have with anyone else, instead of focusing on your ex. he is history, and clearly nothing will occur between you two in the future. make sure you don't become so obsessed on what you dont have with your ex that you loose sight of what you do have with your fiance.
2007-02-07 13:52:10 · answer #8 · answered by notanotherwarning40 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Akkkwaaarrrddd
2007-02-07 13:49:20 · answer #9 · answered by liltexan9 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
actually what you feel for him is just desire. desire to go back to when you and him where together. yes, you share something special but past is past. now you have a fiance who you love, do not let him go, because you won't realize how great he was till you have lost him.
2007-02-07 13:52:45 · answer #10 · answered by mimi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋