While I was reading the wedding invitation sent to me and my girlfriend from my coworker, I didn't recognize who the two people were who were requesting our attendance at their wedding. You see, I didn't know Su, my coworker, was short for Suzanne. And I thought her boyfriend's first name was Van, yet on the invitation his name reads Jean-Peter Van-Wouw Himsteren.
I want for my working relationships to remain working relationships. For my personal relationships I'd like to leave them personal. I have a lot of things to do, a large family with whom I like to share a lot of myself and a job I love that takes up a lot of my time.
I do not socialize with my coworker, nor have i ever in the past 5 years of working with her have I ever talked with her on the phone after work hours are up. I met her husband-to-be only twice in the past 5 years.
I like my coworker and admire her enthusiasm. I am happy for her, her mate and her family she is, at 40 years old, getting married.
Should I go?
2007-02-07 13:36:39 · 17 answers · asked by Cheese 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No, you may politely decline the invitation. There are a number of reasons she might have decided to invite you. She might have invited "everybody else" in your circle of aquantiances and felt obligated to invite you. She might have felt that she must invite everyone in the office so that no one feels left out. Or, she might genuinely wish for you to attend, but if you do not want to then you should not.
2007-02-07 13:47:36 · answer #1 · answered by anne p 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say if your considering inviting any co workers you should invite all. Either invite them only no spouse or plan on them bringing a date. I think it may hurt some of the ones not invited feelings and you do work with these people so that would not be good. However, you can just not invite any and let them know its a small family wedding. But if inviting some you should do all, cause you know they will talk about it to the other staff members.
2016-05-24 05:10:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your position is understandable; everyone has priorities. If you want to be courteous but not make black & white boundaries you've created into grey areas, purchase a modest gift card and give it to her in a nice wedding card, but explain that you won't be attending the wedding because of time constraints. Make sure you wish her well, and give her some "ear time" if she gushes a little about the wedding. Afterward, go back to the way you've always behaved around her.
2007-02-07 13:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you feel uncomfortable about the situation, then don't go. Simply tell her that you have a prior family engagement that day, and will be unable to attend. She most likely invited you out of proper etiquette more then anything. She probably felt that the working situation might be uncomfortable if she didn't give you an invite.
I won't worry about it, just respectfully RSVP with a no.
2007-02-07 13:42:22 · answer #4 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have the day off and nothing else to do than sure why not, it could be fun. But dont feel like you have to go, just end up telling her that you have family plans like a renuion or somthing...and just send her a gift after the wedding or at work. I am sure she will understand and wont be crushed.
2007-02-07 15:15:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no rule that you have to go to her wedding. Send your regrets and at least a card (though it would be nice to get a small present of some sort). You don't have to explain your reasons for not going as that might create an awkward moment. Just tell her you're not available that day and leave it at that.
2007-02-07 13:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by Just Me Alone 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
did she invite other people from the office? You don;t have to hang out after work for her to invite you to her wedding. It most cases it is just being polite. For my wedding I had worked in one office of the company and right before my wedding I was transfered to another office. I only invited the people at my new office because they knew I was getting married and it would have been rude not to invite them when I was invititing the other office. If you don;t want to go...tell her that you appreciate the invitation but you have other plans...wish her luck.
2007-02-07 14:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by k_reile 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should attend the wedding to be polite since she has invited you. You can stay at the reception for a short while and then make an excuse to leave. I think that it would be a good idea to attend.
2007-02-07 13:40:05 · answer #8 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think going to her wedding will start you as personal friends. Don't stop yourself from going b/c your afraid to start a personal friendship with her and her new husband.
That said, if you really don't want to attend, just come up with an excuse of a previous engagement for that date and skip it.
Decide based on whether you want to go or not, not on whether it will change your working relationship.
2007-02-07 13:42:52 · answer #9 · answered by TJTB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to just the ceremony & not the reception. Give them a nice card with a small gift certificate to some generic store.
2007-02-07 17:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by ~M~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋