I have a 5-yr old son and a baby on the way. My concern is with my husband. He doesn't seem to be very concerned with disciplining/educating/raising our son and I think I must be crazy to have another child. My husband works long hours-16 or so a day. I know he must be tired, but we still have a family to take care of. He never really had much of a father himself, and I think he thinks children more or less raise themselves. My dilemma is that I want him to take more interest in teaching or son right from wrong. I feel like I'm having to do it all-and starting to resent it.
An example of his behavior would be this:
We were in a restaurant for lunch and our son was acting up. I asked him to take him to the bathroom and get him under control. He ignored me-and the behavior of our son-until I finally had to do it myself. This is typical of his behavior toward our son, and I don't know how to get him on board.
How do I get him to help me?
2007-02-07 13:22:39 · 4 answers · asked by Icebluegem 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My husband is not much help in the discipline department either. I don't think you can really change him. I mean, to really do it, he's gotta want to do it. The best advice I can give is to keep on doing what you are doing, even if it has to be alone. Additionally keep your husband in the loop about what you do to discipline your son each day. If he can't be there physically (which may be why he is unwilling to be the "mean" parent during his few moments with his son) make him aware by giving him the scoop each night about what you are doing. While I agree he should step up and be an involved father, it is probably pointless to be resentful and try to change him into something he isn't. Hopefully as time goes on he will see the light and get involved.
2007-02-07 13:32:38 · answer #1 · answered by Kitty33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's possible at all-it sounds like you need a vacation. Even if it's just for a day or 2. If your husband is left alone in charge of the house and your son it might be a wake-up call for him. When I feel like I am on overload and I am getting no help (my husband works really long hours like yours) I tell him when I am going and where, and just drop everything for him to pick up and go. I come back refreshed and I feel much more appreciated. It doesn't last forever, but there are many places to go on vacation.
Good luck!
2007-02-07 21:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by chelebeee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this may sound silly, but having the child himself actually say something to dad along the lines of "why dont u act like a daddy like the other kids at school" may get throught to him. Men dont always see women as all that important, we all know that :P but fathers usually have a soft spot for their kids, sons in particular. "dad, do u love me? u dont act like it" would really get under the skin :P
2007-02-08 00:39:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not going to help until he is ready to help. No metter what you do he want until he is ready. You might need to just put your foot down and say you need to help me or we need to figure somehting else out. it is NOT helping your son being raise like that. He is going to quickly learn he can get over on Dad.
2007-02-07 22:28:57 · answer #4 · answered by Danie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋