How do I get my kids teacher to listen?

Question

My daughter has ADHD and an accompanying social/emotional disorder. She is in a new school this year and has surpassed our expectations (straight A's 1st semester!)! She's in 3rd grade & has adjusted so well! This week her teacher gave the entire class an interpretive reading assignment and has to do this infront of the entire school! My kid has expressed she doesn't feel ready to take this step and I agree. Just because she has made such great steps so far doesn't mean we should shove her into EVERY scenerio to test her capabilities of coping w/ the situations. I talked to her doctor and she agrees w/me. I tried to talk to the teacher and she wouldn't hear a word! She said she requires it and won't excuse my kid. I told her that I would be willing to let my kid do the same assignment but to speak infront of a smaller group and she still says no! My daughter has legit issues that have been documented and this will cause undo harm! What can I do to get the new teacher to listen????

I'm not trying to get her out of homework! I think she needs to do this assignment but present it to maybe just her group of teachers and councilors.

just for the record to the jerk...my daughter was severely abused by her birth mother and has several other disabilities!!

Answer 1

Sounds like you've tried what you can with the teacher. I would suggest you talk with the guidance counselor, showing her the doctors recommendation, and see if she can't work it out with the teacher.. Most guidance counselors could handle that well. If that doesn't work, your next step would be the Assistant Principal (if they have one), then the Principal. I wasn't a guidance counselor but was a teacher for 22 years and I know that, from what you say, putting your daughter in a situation like that should not be done so abruptly. It should start with small group and work up from there.
Good luck.
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EDIT>>>>>>>>>>>>
I just read the above answers. Some people, not just the above, think that "go straight to the Principal" is always the answer..........WRONG, especially in a situation like yours. The guidance counselor is, more than likely, better trained to know what works best in these situations. Also, you "going to the Principal" could be perceived by the teacher as trying to get her in trouble rather than trying to get help. [Anyone reading this should keep that in mind].
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Answer 2

If you haven't already done this, I suggest you make an appointment with the school counselor, principal and the teacher. Your daughter is eligible for and IEP (Individual Education Plan). This will get everyone on the same page in regards to your daughter's needs and abilities. At the same time, I would ask the doctor to call the teacher, and explain her concerns, so that the teacher fully understands what is going on. If you can't get these meetings set up before the reading assignment, just take your daughter out of school that day. Go to a museum, out to lunch, etc. The worst thing that could happen is that your daughter gets a zero on that assignment. One missing assignment in the third grade will not, in the whole scheme of things, matter. Good luck!

Answer 3

Okay - as a teacher, I usually side with them, but in this case she is clearly wrong.

- Schedule a meeting with the principal; and/or guidance counselor and make sure you have a Dr.'s letter on letterhead.

-Oops - I think your daughter may have a stomach ache that day. The teacher can't call an entire assembly with the school. The best she can do is make your daughter speak in front of the class. If she "fails" your daughter because of it, make a stink or just let it go. Grades at this age are for parent purposes, so it won't affect her later if she has an "F" in 3rd grade.

-Your daughter should have an IEP that clearly states what she should/should not be expected to do. An IEP is a legal document. You need to work with the schools special ed.(and no, it just means the person works with any child that has learning differences, it doesn't mean your child is less capable) coordinator to get this in place.

Good Luck

Answer 4

As a teacher, I'm surprised your child's teacher is being so adamant about the assignment. I'm ALL for public speaking. Its benefits are far more reaching than people realize. However, given her obviously painful background, I can definitely see how drawing attention to herself would be something she's extremely uncomfortable with. The teacher should be more understanding of her specific situation and find an ALTERNATE assessment for whatever her curriculum goal is here. In fact, you should ask her point blank what state goal and objective the assignment assesses. If it can be assessed in another way (as you've already given as an option), the teacher should do it. Since she's not cooperating, you're going to have to go above her head. Request a phone conference with the principal to explain your side. Let her discuss the situation with the teacher and get back to you. If you're still unsatisfied with the result of that, insist on a conference where all 3 of you are present, along with the school counselor. I normally "side" with teachers on stuff like this, but I can see your perspective quite easily. Good luck!

Answer 5

Um as a teacher I cant believe the teacher dismissed you in this fashion. You definitely need to speak to the principal. I also would like to comment on the ritilin remark. Teachers do not feel its a cure-all. Having worked w children who have ADD, its usually a blessing for them. The downside is the amount of ritilin prescribed in the states. I think there is a lot of over diagnosis.Im speaking generally not in your case.Also , as a parent of this child you have every right to discuss your childs education with the teacher. You would be surprised at the abuse of excuses towards assignments. I think your teacher was quite insensitive. If youve spoken to your child and she feels she can not handle it and your dr agrees then dont let her do it. On the other hand public speaking is one of those things that most students are not comfortable with. Maybe the teacher feels your child is able to perform to the criteria set. after all , she spends most of the time with your child and from the grades shes received I doubt the teacher is ignorant of your childs special needs or strengths. Teachers after all teach their students to reach new milestones. i had a student once who was in sp. ed for four years and barely did more than scribble. By March she was performing in school poetry reading and writing. Im not a miracle worker, I just did not set the bar lower for her than others. Grading can be curved to fit ind performance milestones but part of learning is getting over hurdles. remember that too.

Answer 6

The teacher is just a sadistic control freak. Just don't do the assignment. The teacher isn't God, you know, you can tell her to shove off. Nothing will happen except for that particular exercise grade. Some people with degrees shouldn't be allowed near innocent boys and girls. It is possible to have TOO much respect for authority. Don't argue with this nincompoop, just tell your daughter she doesn't have to do this.

In my Student Teaching class, we had an exercise where we had to each stand up and tell three significant things about ourselves. Before we began, the instructor rattled on for a few minutes about something else. When he stopped he said he could guarantee that none of us heard a word he just said because we were so preoccupied with what we were going to say. His point was, now we knew how our students felt whenever we put them on the spot like that and how little learning we could expect from them during such an exercise. Your little girl's overseer must have missed that lesson. Feel free to explain it to her. If she gives you a hard time, report her. It's time someone burst her egotistical bubble.

Answer 7

I believe ADHD is real and I believe that you need to ask for a conference with the principal and counselor. Again, let them know that you want her to do the assignment but that this is not the best means to assess her ability. Be certain to include her doctor's note. Try talking to the teacher with the note in hand if you don't want to involve anyone else. If that doesn't work, have the conference. Stand up for your child.

Do you know about 504 plans? It is a plan similar to an IEP but is in no way associated with special education. It is a plan that is developed for students with disabilities that "levels the playing field". I'd request one for her so accommodations can be made for her education.

Answer 8

Have your doctor call the school principal. If its a public school your teacher's hands will be tied, she will have to, by law, make accommodations for your child. IF its a private school, more than likely they will still bend to the doctor's will (not yours, you are but an overly concerned protective parent in their eyes, you doctor however is a licensed professional and his words count). If its a private school and they won't listen to the doctor, and they are accredited, you could go to the accrediting bureau and make a stink about it (and if they aren't you may wish to change schools).

As a parent you have your child's best interest at heart. Your child's teacher also feels she has your child's best interest at heart. The teacher is hounded every year with parents with the same worries that your are expressing, for there are many, many, children who don't want to get up in front of the school to read. But it has been her experience that this assignment helps these children to overcome this fear.

Your child may be a special case, but you will not convince her teacher of that.... only the doctor, and the doctor does not need to try to convince the teacher, only inform the principal, who will inform the teacher.... that this is a special case.

Answer 9

I also have an ADD 3rd grader. Your daughter's doctor should be able to intervene and write her a 504 plan or Individual Education Plan. You need to request an immediate student assistance team meeting with you child's teacher, school counselor and an administrator IN WRITING. Make sure you put any communication in writing and keep a copy for yourself including when it was delivered to the school so that you have good records. Here in WV they have 2 days to respond. I would ask for written documentation from your child's doctor and request an IEP or 504. A 504 plan is a legal document that complies with the Rehabilitaion Act of 1973 and deals with children with special needs in regular education settings. Good luck to you and be sure that your daughter's doctor is involved. Here are a few links that have alot of helpful info.

Answer 10

If her doctor doesn't think she should do the assignment as is, you need to send in a doctor's note to the school. I do believe schools are required to follow doctor's orders. If the note doesn't change anything, request a conference with the teacher and the principal together. Be sure you bring a copy of the doctor's note.