when do you know if your fulling out of love or just needed a breake away from the family?

Question

I have just recovered from a detox of off pain killers and my partner is getting to me as I thought might happen. she will not let me have money, (If I have it she works it out in the way of what we've spent; good help me if it's not right) Most men have a job (I cn't work due to health) and friends, of which you see them at times in the pub. we have two children one is 2 and the other is 8weeks. I do most if not all the house work and then the children but how do i know and how can I say enough is enough? some one please help.

Answer 1

You say you cant work due to health, yet by your own admission you do the housework and look after your children!!! Man, no wonder your partner is frustrated with you, get some self respect and get out there and find yourself a job to help support your family...
I"m sure your relationship with your family will improve if you do...
Whats-more you will feel so much better about yourself

Answer 2

Are you for real? Great! A pat on the back for the detox but apart from coping with either second pregnancy or a birth your partner must have been to hell and back also with the worry of you. Sounds like she has had no option but to take control of the money, one of you must. As you have been told if you can do almost all house work you can certainly have some sort of job. Perhaps if you showed some sort of responsibility things would be much different. Try sitting down with her write absolutely every outgoing for the week or month however your finances work, allow a llittle for emergencies and see what's left. If there is perhaps you could divide it between the two of you as pocket money. Somehow I think you will be in for a surprise and wonder how your partner has actually made your finances spin out the way she has. Also you are responsible for 2 young children. If there's plenty left fair enough use it on something you enjoy or better still getting a sitter and enjoying ;'time out' with your partner.

Answer 3

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but she is probably doing you a favor. There is no cure for addiction. If you are on edge (and it sounds like you are), it's better you don't have too much money in your pocket because it won't take much to send you back to your old habits. I don't think you need a break from your family. Go to your meetings. Get the support you need. I wouldn't be too quick to leave your partner just yet because she could well be the best thing that ever happened to you. You have children together and she is sacrificing a lot to stay with you.
I do wish you both the best of luck!

Answer 4

FALLING OUT OF LOVE? You sir, are lucky she did not FALL first! You need to Earn her trust and THAT will take time! Taking a "BREAK" and running away AGAIN, will not cut it! She has stood by this long with 2 babies, she must love you! You should feel blessed! No, she does not "TRUST" you! Who would? I bet you cannot even trust yourself yet! You are in "recovery", never to be "recovered"! It is ongoing and a life's dream, She will trust you again! Love yourself and your Family! Good luck! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH? ARE YOU CRAZY?, She did not say that to you, when MOST would have! Count your blessings! You can start at 4, since I have already counted 3, Your partner and 2 beautiful children! Grow up!

Answer 5

Congrats on the successful detox! It sounds like it's kind of soon to get back into things full throttle. May I request, that if you can at all do this, please consider counseling-for you, and your partner. One thing, the detox place, do they have a support group you can get to? Is there a class/group for people like your partner-where they can learn the best ways to be of help to a person like yourself, just completing detox? To help to learn to trust you with money again? If not, and you can, get a counselor, that can also help in this area, that would be a huge help-for both of you. Counseling for help on communication would truly be of help to both of you at this time, as well. Could you and your friends, that are the ones who usually hang out in the pub, possibly hang out with you at a bowling alley for a couple games of bowling instead? Your little ones are still quite little, and still need you, since you are there for them. Can you and your partner afford to get someone to babysit once in awhile-like at least once a month-to give you a break? And, if possible, could you afford a little overnight/weekend get-away with your partner, and someone (family/friends) to watch the little ones while you are away for that short tiime.? A day off-at least once a month is good for you-to have time for yourself. Moms who stay home, and Dads too-know that this is important to do once in awhile. I wish you the best. Please take care.

Answer 6

If you have just recovered from detox, you are not back to normal. You need to keep going to the support groups to help you be able to care for your children, because that's your most important obligation.
One day at a time.

Answer 7

think she is looking after you and spending the money on the right things but you should take the kids out for a bit go visiting friends and walks in the park take up a sports that you could all do as coming off the pain killer drugs is a big step you dont want to go back there man but it will take time to heal then you will be back to normal

Answer 8

Sounds like you need some time to breathe. Don't make big decisions about anything when your feelings are so heightened. It will help to get involved with an online support group where you can vent without being judged.

Answer 9

She is probably fearful that you will relapse and if you can't work that is why you have the other responsibilities. But what type of person walks out on their family??? Talk to her before you make a harsh decision.

Answer 10

Well my bf walked out on me and our son a month ago,my son has learning difficulties and i don`t think he could cope with that.If you walk away from your family then you will miss out on alot.