Are there any mother's here who have a 6 year old boy who talks back and gets smart with you?

Question

I don't know what to do anymore. I do not believe in hitting a child. To my child a slap on the butt is playing around. He laughs. He yells at me and makes me feel like I am the bad guy. I don't know how to get the respect and love from him at the same time. He loves me. But he doesn't respect me. He is not a bad child. My concerns are he doesn't following simple rules when told. They have to be retold to him. I have to say things up to 5 times before he does it. I don't know what to do? I kinda need that super nanny at my house.

Answer 1

I'm a pretty tough cookie.
I raised my child and taught him not to sass, and to respect his elders.

I used a time out chair.
I explained that when he was rude/disrespectful, he would sit on that chair for 1 minute for each year he was old (6 years=6 minutes). If he got up, he would start over.

There was no talking, etc, on the chair. HE SAT and thought about what he did wrong.

When the time was up, I approached him, and asked him what he did wrong. He could respond, or I would tell him. John, you hit your mother. We (and stress this part) DO NOT hit other people.

Then, he had to apologize in a sentence and say what he did.
Mommy, I am sorry I hit you. Then I would give him a hug and tell him I loved him.

Also, if I have to tell him to do something more than twice, I will interupt what ever he is doing, and have him look at my face when I say it the third time. At that time, he WILL do as I say.

I am teaching my child respect. I am NOT yelling. I am stressing the importance of the behavior.

Answer 2

Just make sure you show the little boy how much you love him and make his time with you extra special. He will eventually be of an age where he can make his own judgements! Those will be the important ones when it comes to his choices! She is obviously a very bitter ex .. and although it is hard on the little lad, getting the police and social involved was a good idea. They will see and hear with an experienced ear, and if there is a possibility perhaps you could consider the option of your husband going for full custody on the basis that she is unstable and you are worried about the stories she tells the little boy. Being 6 he understands quite a bit, so next time you do have him for a visit, explain to him as much as you can, without putting the mother down too much!! He will understand a lot more than you think! Goodluck and I sincerely hope you get things sorted!

Answer 3

The bad news is this is just the beginning!! The first thing you have to do is gain respect and control. He is only 6, and you ARE the parent --right?? It is tough, and I'm gappaling with it too. I just keep reinforcing what is inappropriate, and what is done well. If he is not listening to you after being told once or twice physically remove him to where you are at his level and try again -- eye to eye, ask him to repeat what you've said. I know some will say he should listen right off the bat, but I'm not raising soldiers, and i figure as long as they know my danger voice we should be OK. best of luck.

Answer 4

My son is the same but he is not even 4 yet. I know how hard it is. I've found planned ignoring works well because after a while he realises he isnt getting my attention until he starts being nicer. I think we could all use a super nanny at our house.

Answer 5

if you have to tell him 5 times i would say you need to punish him in a new way a spank is exepected ... A few drop of tabasco in the mouth or take them and put them in the cold shower clothes and all tell him to cool off... just let him know your the boss not him ... the problem might also be as hard as this is to say or to hear in you look at why he acts the way he does is it for attention maybe he feels he doesn't get enuf set aside ten extra mins a day to talk to him or read to him something like that it might help

Answer 6

Have you started giving him time outs and stuff like that? if so thats a good start. watching the super nanny is good, cause it helps give you ideas. maybe look up parenting sites. If nothing works and your really desprate to get your son on track then try taking him to therapy, counciling, or just get help.

Answer 7

I know this sounds mean but my 6yr old would sass me, I would stick a bar of soap in mouth a few times until he finally quit(Don't do this) Make sure when you say something to him the first time, back it up the second time with actions. If you wait until the fifth time then it's a lost cause.

Answer 8

I know how that feels. My son will be six in March and I find him doing things just to push my buttons. He wants to see how far he can go before he gets in trouble.It really aggravates me when I have to tell him to do something over and over again. I have given him time-outs( that help sometimes) But I see that when I praise him for being good, he wants to stay good and wants to make me happy. When I yell at him he just tunes me out. Well Good Luck!!

Answer 9

Me too.He really full of why and how come.He melts down my wife and hand up his big sister and brother.If any explaination about why make sense to him, he followed if not you have to prepare for the how come.
Don't worry, this is part of learning and sometime we learnt more than kid do.

Answer 10

None of my kids did that after I pulled their britches down and got real personal by blistering their butt with the palm of my hand. All it takes is once and they'll not try it again.