I've been great friends with this guy at work. He knows I've had a crush on him for a long time. But I heard he was gay. I never suspected this in the 2 and a half years that I've known him. He never mentioned it. I figured the reason he hasn't said anything about his feelings for me, was because we aren't supposed to date people we work with at our company. But he flirts with me and he gets really close to me. So I'm wondering if he is gay, why would he flirt with me? Or is he straight and actually does like me in that way?
This has been bothering me for about a month. I'm too shy to ask him, though it has come to the point where its bothering me so much I want to know? Any thoughts?
2007-02-07 12:50:48 · 8 answers · asked by L♥G 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he has told me that he was married for 12 years to a woman
2007-02-07 13:00:03 · update #1
Sometimes gay guys will be very flirtatious and become very good friends with girls. It is a safe situation for both of them-- they can have the fun of the relationship knowing it will never lead to any major commitment or hassles. Some women's 'best friends' are gay guys.
I'd suggest you casually ask him to meet you for drinks, a casual dinner with others from work, or say you have an extra ticket for something and would he like to go with you. If he is gay, he may volunteer the information at that point, not wanting to lead you on. Then you can graciously tell him you want to go with him because you like his company, not because you were looking for romance.
I don't think there is any direct way to ask that question. Many straight guys would be offended--- and it also may imply "Hey, if you haven't followed up and asked me out, you MUST be gay!" Not a way to score points with a guy you like--- whether as a friend or as a romance.
But you don't say how you will side-step the issue of not dating someone from work. Clearly if he is not gay, you are hoping to see him outside of work--
2007-02-07 13:04:08 · answer #1 · answered by Rani 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't ask him if he's gay, especially if you like him. If he's not, he's just going to be offended and if he is... he might not want you to know. Just keep flirting and if you like him, let him know in ways. Someone else will come along if he never asks you out.
2007-02-07 21:10:08 · answer #2 · answered by flighty001100 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have trouble asking people things straight out - so you ask other questions. Like aske about his past relationships, why he's not dating anyone, where he hangs out, etc. Just talk to himand look for clues. And if the opportunity comes up just ask "So, are you gay?"
2007-02-07 20:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by lucki female 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask him out for a movie or dinner or both.or just lunch get to talking about old girlfirends and old boyfriends (which I hate doing) but its just to find out if he has had any. or you could skip that and just get to know him better get to be friends and he may confide in you also he may not be gay and if he is it might be a faze that you can change in him. its best to start out being friends anyway. what have you got to lose? atleast you can have a good friend. good luck
2007-02-07 20:58:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
consider the source. an ex or enemy? not trustworthy. but a friend of his? sorry honey, but its prob the truth. gay guys tend to be very friendly because its all for fun.
2007-02-07 20:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by Flutie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he might not be gay and it might just be a rumor. he might just act a little more femanine than others, but try to flirt with him too if you really like him
good luck
2007-02-07 20:57:08 · answer #6 · answered by Andrew 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask a friend to ask him if he likes you or if he's gay
2007-02-07 20:54:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's practicing on you.
2007-02-07 20:54:22 · answer #8 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋