Can;t make friends?

Question

I cant make friends with these people. They like me and I Iike them and theyd be willing, but I just have too many mental problems. Ive been dealing with depression and social anxiety for a while and its worse than its ever been. I basically hate everything about myself, whether it makes any sense or not. I put so much on the approval of these people, and I can go from happy to depressed and completely hating myself like nothing. Like the other day I was at a party with them and they were talking and nice to me and it was almost euphoric but when they stopped talking to me so much, (just normal) I Igot right back into the worst depression. Im not balanced unless Im alone. And they dont need that. As people who are very graciously accepting an acquaintance they dont deserve to have to deal with that. Ill just end up hurting them.

Answer 1

Are you seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? They can help you with these things. Maybe you should try identifying exactly what you are afraid of. Why is someone else's approval so important?

Answer 2

Look, I completely understand. I do the same thing, especially after losing so many friends. I don't know whether you have lost a lot of friends and are also having trust issues, but that is something that I am dealing with. Depression and social anxiety and looking to other's approval are difficult things to overcome. You may not ever overcome them, so it is a good idea to get a book on making friends/relationships and how to keep them. Also it is a good idea to play what I call the angel's advocate. The devil's advocate always thinks the worst, when that happens then I try to do the opposite and think of how things may not be what they seem. How all the negative things I am thinking may not be true. I really try to look at the situation from the other side. Like, do you go around talking behind other's backs about their looks or their behaviors. Most likely, you don't, unless it's family and then all bets are off. :) Just kidding. So, if you don't do that, then the people you hang around probably aren't either. Another thing is that since you will probably live with your conditions for the rest of your life or for a long time, it would be a good idea to try to learn how to listen to others and talk about your problems as little as possible. Now, I know you want friends, but sometimes that we want friends so bad, that as soon as we get one, we lay all our problems on them and it's just too much for them. And they are gone before we know it. It's not bad to want to share your problems with somebody, but a lot of people have their own problems & can't handle ours too, or they don't know how too handle them or they don't understand, so they think that they don't have anything good to say to us or offer us. So, it's better to fake it for awhile, until you know for sure that your friend can handle it and even then, don't tell them everything at once. Take it from someone who has gone through this enough times and lost more friends than I can count. You have to be patient and a good listener, because a friendship is about give and take. You've got to be able to give back. I don't think that you can't make friends, you just don't know how. How many friends does your mom or dad have or your siblings-if you have any- or other family members? See, there is only one person in my family who has a lot of friends. My mother has a few and then everyone else has either one or no one. And so how could I make friends, if I didn't have anyone to show me how to be a good friend or make friends? If your close relatives don't have any friends this could be another good reason why you don't. Either way, it doesn't matter because you can change and you can learn and it's never to late to make friends. So, don't be so hard on yourself and try some of the things I suggested. I think that you will soon find yourself making friends. I hope this helped you out some. Good luck to you. And if you ever need to talk, you can email me. :)

Answer 3

Do you have a really close friend? If not, its a good idea to become close friends with someone. Then you can talk to them about your problems and they can help you when you're in social situations. I know its difficult with depression, but sometimes the best thing to have is a rational friend who you can talk to.

Good luck, and i hope you feel better about yourself. You sound like a great person - don't let your depression overcome you! You can fight it, even without meds. Hopefully things go better for you soon!

Answer 4

you probably make everyone feel like they have to be there for you. this makes you look like you have a lot of emotions that they just do not want to know about. go see a shrink and get you life panned out first.......

Answer 5

guess what...can you see BIO POLAR!..DAMN MUST SUCK HOPE YOUR DISORDER WORKS OUT I KNOW HOW IT FEELS I HAVE A.D.D.