Am I expecting to much? Is this the way manners in society are heading?

Question

I just want to ask opinions of if I am overreating??

My husbands cousins child had a birthday this week. He wasn't having a party, but I still went out of my way on the weekend to go and buy a present for him.
On the day of his birthday, I went there, and the little birthday boy (2) wasn't there, but woud be home at 1pm, I said I would come back, but left the present with his mother.
I couldn't get there at 1pm, but I called my husbands cousin (who wasn't even home at 1pm) and left a message to say I couldn't get there, as my 1 year old was in bed asleep.

I haven't heard from them. (not that I am expecting the 2 year old to call me, thought the mother might of)

Just want to ask your opinions of this.

I am big on manners, my kids have to say please, or they don't get what they are asking for, and are all told to thank people when they give you something. (I do it for my 1year old obviously).

Is this where society is headed? unappreciative, disrespectful?

Answer 1

Forget it...just dont spend your money buying them junk....besides....did you do it to get praise, or to do a good thing?

Answer 2

You say this happened on Monday? It's only Wednesday. It would have been polite for Cuz to call later that evening and thank you for the gift, however, it's hardly a total breach of appropriate behavior for her not to respond immediately. Give her a few days and if you still haven't heard from her, you can call and ask how little Joey liked his gift. However, for a person who is so "big on manners", it sounds as though you have some issues yourself. You mention that you went out of your way to buy a gift even though there was no party. What difference does it make if there was a party or not? If it was so much trouble for you to take time out of your busy schedule on the weekend, why didn't you just have your hubby take care of his own familial obligations? To tell you the truth, which you may or may not want to hear from a stranger, you sound like the kind of person who does things with an ulterior motive which usually has something to do with promoting yourself. I work with a girl who is always complaining about either how busy she is or how tired she is. It's always designed to make sure that everyone around her knows how important she is. The point is, buying a baby a birthday gift isn't that big of a deal. Generous? yes. Kind? of course. Monumental and deserving of adulation? hardly, no matter what you're particular situation is. Of couse Cuz should call and thank you for your uncommon kindness but you are just as socially remiss for expecting it on your own personal time table. It's only been two days. Enough time has not passed yet for it to be either unappreciative or disrepectful. I hope I have misinterpreted your comment and if I have, I humbly apologize but if I'm right, I hope you'll think about it a bit before you alienate your friends and family. Kudos to you for expecting and teaching your children to be polite and respectful.

Answer 3

Sometimes it seems like it, doesn't it? When I was little, I was taught that if an older person walked into the room, you stood, to show respect. You gave them your seats, and referred to them as Mrs. or Mr. Times have changed, and so have people. But, a very smart lady once told me, it's all about upbringing. If a person is raised to be respectful, they will be. If they aren't taught manners when they are growing up, they won't suddenly develop good manners. It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor. I think that respect and manners go hand in hand. I agree with you. You should have been thanked, either by card or at least by a phone call. You went out of your way to do something nice, and the least they should have done is picked up the phone. Is this where society is headed? I hate to say yes, but, looking back to the way we were raised and how kids are now, I see a huge difference.

Answer 4

No. You are not asking for too much. You were thoughtful in thinking of your husband's cousin's child. I am big on manners also. You are definitely owed a thank you.( You never know though if they have been preoccupied with something in their lives though. Maybe you can call and see how the little one likes the gift. (not that you should have to) I'm sure you'll get a thank you and maybe even an apology.) Good luck to you.

Answer 5

No, I don't think you are overreacting. I have been in similar situations - not getting a "thank you" or an acknowledgment - and I have since learned not to give gifts to some of those people anymore.
>Is this where society is headed?
I think society in general is already unappreciative and disrespectful. A lot of kids are spoiled (monetarily/materialistically) and the presents are expected and therefore not appreciated. This doesn't apply to the 2-yr-old, but yes the mother should say thank you for him. I help my kids (one toddler, one preschooler) make Thank You cards.

Answer 6

some ppl r just rude and take things for granted. I think yre doing an excellent job on teaching yr kids manners. My mother was very strict exp when it comes to manners. I was really annoyed when i was young but wherever i go, ppl always told me that i was very well mannered. It made me happy and feel very proud but it's good for the parents too cuz pple get good image of those who are well mannered as well as those who taught them that way.

Answer 7

I agreee that manners are important, but if your husband's family has a 2 year old, they're probably very busy and most likely acknowledging your gift just slipped their mind.

Mention it to the mom next time you speak to her, asking
something like "Did little Billy like the toy dinosaur we gave him?"

Remember- part of having good manners is letting it go when others don't practice such great manners.

Answer 8

I agree with you it should be expected and when I have children please and thank you will be a rule. It could be that they were busy but if I were you I would "forget" to give the child a gift for the next birthday or something cheap. You didn't HAVE to give a gift but you did and they should show you a little gratitude

Answer 9

where is society headed? I think were already there! And its not good. Unappreciative AND disrespectful

Forget her thoughtlessness, Call HER up and say: I just called to see if littleJohnny enjoyed the ___________. We weren't able to attend because of......




That should give her a nudge in the right direction.

Answer 10

Manners have been put on the backburner in My Generation (I'm 15). We are disrespectful and rude. Please note- this is a general statement- some kids do have manners. These are the diamonds of society.

Answer 11

I'm with you on this one. The mother should have called to say thank you, at least. You still went, and bought the child a present. She DEFINITELY should have done something to say thanks!